Round Three submission for The Slythrin Cabal's elimination competition, Death by Quill
Theme: Desperation
Pairing: Harry/Astoria
Word Count Limit: 1000-3000
It had started with something akin to revenge sex, at least on her part. Astoria liked to think that she was above pettiness, that she was a strong witch that didn't need reassurance, but Draco had spent one too many nights at the office and come home one too many times with lipstick on his collar, and she'd finally snapped.
That night she didn't leave the Manor with the intention to seduce anyone or fall into their bed, but then, she didn't really leave with intentions to do much of anything. She just knew she couldn't stay there a moment longer.
She thought about going to Daphne's first, but baby Marjorie wasn't sleeping through the night yet and Theo was Draco's best mate. Their lives were all too entwined for them to be much help anyway, so she headed to the only place she could think of that wouldn't have the snobby pureblood elite or Draco's clientele; Diagon Alley.
She was overdressed but no one had given her a second glance as she slid into the farthest bar stool from the door.
The bartender poured her a shot of the finest Firewhiskey and left her to wallow in self pity. And wallow she did.
She just didn't know where she went wrong. She came from a good family, prestigious and grand. Her life was supposed to be glamorous and picture perfect with a loving husband and two children to fill her home with laughter. She was supposed to host parties and gossip with the same ladies that would surely snub her now. She wasn't supposed to be getting pissed at a shady bar because her husband was an absolute prick.
Draco had turned everything on its head and she didn't know where to go from there if she had ever known where to go, to begin with. Things like this just didn't happen to people like her.
So, it was rather shocking, if not a little ironic, of course, that she ended up sharing drinks with Harry Potter, the bane of her husband's existence. She didn't know why he had come to the pub that first night, she'd never asked, but the ending result was still the same; a fifteen-minute snog session that turned into impatient wandering hands and a key to a room above the bar.
For someone who'd only been with one man, Astoria was surprised by how eagerly she pulled off her clothes and tugged on his. His touch was like fire and his kiss left her breathless and panting. She'd never wanted anyone inside of her as much as she wanted Harry to be. The first time was rough and fast, teeth biting and fingers scratching across pale skin. He took her against the wall first and somehow managed to fuck a second orgasm out of her on the floor. By the time they made it to the bed, the heat had ebbed and their touches weren't as frenzied. Hips thrust gently and lips kissed softly as they took their time. When all was said and done, they fell asleep in each other's arms, their sweaty naked skin drying in the warm air of the room.
The morning after didn't result in the panic she thought it would. She woke up smiling, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he slept soundly. He'd woken moments later and kissed her senseless, promising that it hadn't been a mistake and that he would see her again soon.
He'd kept his promise.
They started seeing each other once or twice a week after that, sending owls in between each rendezvous like they were teenagers in Hogwarts again. If Draco noticed her absence or icy silence he didn't bother talking about it and if Ginny had found out Harry never said one way or another. That was fine with her. She didn't want to think about the ginger girl he'd been dating for the last six years.
She was honestly surprised that he kept sleeping with her though. He'd always been known for his Gryffindor attributes and his unflinching loyalty. The fact that he was sneaking around behind his friends' backs because he wanted to be with her gave her a rush. She had broken the Golden Boy's good streak, and even though it had started out as just sex in the beginning, as weeks bled into months her feelings, and his, started to change.
Their clandestine meetings had slowly changed into late afternoon walks in the park and candle lit dinners a couple towns over. They had a permanent room above their favorite bar that they usually ended the night in. Kissing had turned into laughing and sex had turned into making love. And that? That was something to be cherished.
Astoria had never known the kind of love she'd experienced with the dark haired man. Love wasn't really on the plate when she had entered the marital arrangement with the Malfoys, and now that she had felt that bright and empowering feeling, she would do absolutely anything to keep it in her grasp.
Which was why she was now holding a vial of putrid smelling pink liquid, that if it worked, would solidify her place in Harry's life.
She'd noticed that the last two weeks had started to feel different. Harry had been quiet and more hesitant. She was starting to get anxious and afraid, and her anxiety turned into paranoia as she thought about all the reasons for his silence. He could be dealing with work, personal matters, or….he could be buckling under the pressure of his secrets. He could be rethinking their relationship, or maybe even finding a way to break it off.
Her stomach ached and tears pricked her eyes. Her hand gripped the glass vial and she stared down at it. She hated that she was going to be so underhanded and deceitful to Harry, but her hands were practically tied. She was desperate now and it was completely necessary. She knew it was just a matter of time before he decided he was just "too good of a person" for this affair business. And then where would she be? Back at the manor playing dutiful wife and wallowing in misery? No...she wouldn't go back to that. She refused.
She looked at herself in the mirror and downed the vial in one go.
"What's wrong?" She asked later that night, kissing his bare shoulder and wrapping her arms around his chest. "You've been quiet all night."
"I was just…." He turned to her, eyes sparkling with emotion. "Do you ever feel guilty? About what we're doing behind Draco's back?"
She chuckled darkly, realizing her fears were warranted and that taking the disgusting potion had been the best course of action. "No, Harry. I really don't. Maybe if we had ever had something resembling a loving marriage, or maybe if he wasn't fucking his secretary every weeknight I would feel...something. But we don't and he does." she sighed and rested her forehead on his back. "Why do you ask? Are you feeling….guilty?" She was almost afraid of the answer. They'd talked about Draco but they hardly ever talked about Weasley.
She felt him tense beneath her hands and she leaned back, breaking all contact with him. "Ginny...Ginny didn't do anything wrong." he said, running a hand through his messy hair. "She didn't...she didn't cheat or ignore me...I just...I just wanted... needed more."
As much as she preened at the thought of her being his something more, she heard the self loathing in his voice. "There's nothing wrong with needing something else."
He shook his head. "Yes, there is. There is when you're too much of a coward to break things off before falling into bed with your high school enemy's wife."
"Why do I feel like you're trying to get rid of me?" She couldn't hide the nervous tic in her voice.
"That's not...I'm not trying to get rid of you, I'm just trying to find a way for this whole thing to end with as little tears as possible. "
She shook her head and pulled on the pale pink blouse that had been discarded on the floor earlier. "That is the only way it was ever going to end."
His voice was barely above a whisper when he replied, "Then maybe we should stop this, Tori."
That made her pause her quest for clothing and she stared at him, hands shaking and eyes blinking. "What?'
He crawled to the edge of the bed and took her hands into his. "It's just...I feel so guilty all the time. It's suffocating. I can't keep doing this and then going home to her."
She made a face. "Then stop going home to her." She yanked her hands out of his hold. "There. Problem solved."
He shook his head sadly. "No. No, I can't do that to her. I've been so bloody selfish. She hasn't done anything to deserve what I'm doing to her."
"So what then? You sacrifice your happiness for hers?" He didn't look at her. He didn't have to. "And what about my happiness, Harry? I thought...I thought we had something. I thought you loved me!" Tears streamed down her face and her heart beat painfully in her chest. It hurt. This rejection, Harry's rejection hurt.
"I do! I do love you!" He exclaimed, jumping up from the bed. "But it's not fair to her. I can't abandon her."
"And it's fair to me? It's fine to abandon me?"
"It's not like I want to!" He yelled, eyes watering.
"But you're still going to."
"Astoria…" He pleaded, reaching for her.
She slapped his hand away and found her jeans, shoving her wobbly legs into them.
"Astoria," he called again as she grabbed her purse off the night stand. "Wait."
She forced herself to look at him and her heart broke into a million pieces. He looked like he was losing everything in his life. And she supposed he was, because she wasn't about to wait around and listen to his excuses.
"I love you, Harry," she whispered into the silent room. At least he had the decency to look remorseful. "Good luck with your normal boring life with Weasley."
It was petty and maybe a bit dramatic but she had to say something to make the ache in her chest subside.
She slammed the door for good measure and left him to stew in his misery. There was still a good chance that this would still end with her on top, but only time would tell.
As Pansy, and a few other ladies in her circle had always said, the two-week wait was one of the hardest things about reaching the desired goal. For Astoria, it was extra excruciating. It would have been different if Harry hadn't broken it off in a fit of self righteousness, but he had, so now she was hanging by a thread, praying to Circe that the potion had worked. The days dragged on and she found herself pacing the hallways in her home, willing her body to do what it was meant to. She needed it to work. It would be the only thing, besides her love for the man, tying them together.
When the color of the test vial changed, she cried in relief. She'd really done it. Her plan had worked. He wasn't going to slip out of her hands this time. This made sure of it.
Harry looked irritated and a little afraid when he opened the door to his flat two days later. "Tori?" He asked warily. "I thought I made myself clear. You can't be here. I can't be selfish anymore. I need to be the man Ginny deserves. I can't do that if you just show up at my home at all hours of the night and day."
"I would love to get out of your hair," she lied smoothly, "but there is something you should know. Something preventing me from walking away."
He narrowed his eyes. "And what is that?"
She thought about dragging the suspense out but decided to give the man a break. "I'm pregnant."
His eyes widened and the color slipped from his face. "What? You're...but...you said you were on birth control."
She forced down the grin that threatened to spill across her face. "Accidents happen, I guess."
His eyes traveled from her face to her stomach. "So...how do you know it's not Draco's?"
She glared and put a hand on her hip. "I really don't think you need me to answer that. We both know you're the only one I've been fucking in the last six months."
He opened his mouth to respond but he was interrupted by a pair of footsteps inside the foyer.
"Harry?" A voice sounded behind him, and Astoria could see the form of Ginny Weasley on the stairs. "What's going on?" The woman frowned. "Why is Astoria Malfoy here?"
Astoria eyed the wizard, daring him to ignore the situation. He looked liked he would rather Avada himself than be in this position. He swallowed audibly and turned to face his girlfriend. "Um...there's…I...you see…"
The blonde witch rolled her eyes and let out a huff as she pushed her way inside the flat, knocking his hand off the door in the process. "What our darling Harry is trying to say is, that we have a bit of a predicament on our hands."
Confusion took over her features as she paused at the bottom of the stairs. "Predicament?
Harry reached out and circled Astoria's hand with his own. "Don't. Just...let me do it."
She nodded and took a step back.
"Ginny…remember when I told you I'd been….seeing someone…"
Rage and tension filled the room as the redhead glared at the two of them. "You were fucking Draco's wife?"
"I was...but that's...it was supposed to stay in the past. We broke it off…."
"So what's the problem? Just kick her out and we will deal with it later." She hissed, not even trying to hide the hate in her voice.
"I don't think we can sweep this under the rug, Gin."
"Why the hell not?"
Harry bit his lip and Astoria felt a bubble of happiness float up from her stomach. This was it. The finale she'd been waiting for, the moment that insured that Harry Potter was hers, and only hers.
Everything was quiet as he let the words fall from his mouth. "She's...she's pregnant." Surprisingly, he squeezed Astoria's hand and tugged her to his side. She couldn't help but beam at the gesture. "And the baby is mine."
The shocked and angry sob that broke the following silence was music to her ears.
