Just a fun little One shot my brain wanted to release. So please, enjoy adn as always tell me what you think.
Cocky, arrogant, pig headed. All the things I associated with him, even before he opened his mouth. You could just tell, I swear to god, I mean even the stupid swagger he had…could anyone be more self-obsessed? Worse still, when he did open his mouth he had the audacity to call me a loner who needed to get out of the rut I was in. Who does he think he is? Just because he has amazingly blue orbs and a naturally Greek-god tan and a body to match, that doesn't give him the right to call me out on being who I want to be. I happen to enjoy being alone, and reading. Don't get me wrong, I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for…well except for 'the 2004 incident' but we won't go into that one. But the point of it is that he should never have called me a loner, and trust, I am not one to let other people think they have something on me, though I may enjoy the peace and quiet of being alone, I absolutely love proving people wrong more. So when the arrogant son of a bitch told me I was unsociable loser I couldn't take it. I was determined to prove him wrong, which of course led to a damn date.
Not that I should or can complain about being wined and dined by the likes of him, and surprisingly, he can actually be quite polite and well…not a complete jackass when he wants to be. Which itself surprised me. Actually, to be completely honest, it was the best date I'd ever had, and my track record for meeting men wasn't that good…well I'm sure you can tell that one, look at how I managed to get this one! But he was a complete gentleman, took me to a nice restaurant, listened to what I said, didn't make snide comments or smirk all evening, which of course, I had planned for. And at the end of the night, instead of, as I'd thought, tried to get in my pants, he gave me a slight peck on the cheek, but let me tell you the electricity that was flowing from my cheek to my toes that night is something I'll never be able to forget, nor will I want to.
The side I saw of him that night was a side I wanted to bottle and keep forever…just in case it was a fluke, we organised a second date, and although half of me doubted he'd show, I was presently surprised that he did. Instead of being the 'gentleman' he'd been on the first date, he took me to an amusement park and showed me his fun loving side, this man has more personalities than Willy Wonka.
"Wow, I can honestly say, I never had you pegged as such a fun guy to be around."
"Let me guess, I'm an arrogant jerk who treats women like dirt?"
"Well, to be honest yea. But that was before I got to see the romantic and fun sides of you. You're really outdoing any expectations I had of you."
"I'm just trying to let you see there is more than meets the eye."
And there is, by the third date I was sure he'd slip, and want something, but the third date came and went, as did the fourth, fifth and sixth, in fact he didn't push me at all…and although it was refreshing, my pre-meeting judgement of him caused me to be suspicious. But I knew I couldn't go through his things, I mean no matter what they thought, if anyone went through my things I'd loose it.
"I need to ask you something, which may seem left field but its been bugging me for a while now."
"Please say you're not going to dump him. You're all he talks about."
"I'm not…hopefully, but I need to know. Is he cheating on me?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because, I've always believed he's a player, but not once has he pressured me to do anything."
"Because he values you to much, he doesn't want you to leave, he loves you girl, and for him to behave himself for four moths, FOUR long months in order to show you how much he doesn't want to ruin what you have. That's gotta mean something right?"
"I never thought of it that way. Thanks big man."
"No problem babygirl."
"What did I say about calling me babygirl?"
And you know, he was right, I know I probably should have had more of a backbone than to go to his best friend, but I was scared and I figured who'd know him better than his best friend? Though I must say, he did the same thing to me, that's how he knew not to pressure me, he spoke to my best friend about me, on one level I was almost disappointed, but then I realised he didn't want to ruin what we had, and that meant more to me than him annoying Em any day.
When the day came to commit ourselves to one another I was more nervous than I could ever imagine. Every thought you could possibly imagine having was running through my head. 'What if he's not the one' 'he'll say no I know it' 'I'm not ready for this yet' 'do I look ok' but on top of all the crazy thoughts I was having, one thought stood out and yelled the loudest. 'Go and get your crazy ass married girl' the words of one of my newer, yet close friends. She travelled half way around the world to witness the marriage of a love that blossomed from different countries to begin with. But now her words of wisdom from last night are shining through louder than any thought my head could come up with. So with the courage of my new friend and my father waiting to walk me down the aisle, I confidently accepted my man into my life, through good and bad times, till death do us part.
But you see that's where things blur from reality into uncertainty.
"They say everything happens for a reason. They lied, there is no reason for god to want to take someone so special from me on such an important day. My wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, but now it is tainted. Tainted with the thought of never seeing Randy again, never being able to wake up beside him, never knowing the joys of being the mother of his children or see him be the wonderful father I know he could've been. But Randy, baby, no matter how much of a self obsessed ass you may have been, you hold my heart, now and for forever. My angel Randy"
"That was beautiful Maila"
"No John, it was honest, I have to go through life without the one man that made everything make sense, I have to go through life without half of me. I don't think I can do it."
"You're much stronger than you think babygirl." As the coffin was lowered into the ground I whispered for the last time "I love you Randy."
And as John led me away from my husband's grave, I swear I heard through the wind 'My one and only, I'll always be right here waiting for you'
Good bad or just plain ugly please let me know. xx
