Title: From Olga, to Helga
Rating: K-T
Summary: It's rare that the Pataki Sister's share moments like this. But when Olga gives Helga some advice, it just might give Helga the courage she needs to take a certain matter into her own hands.
Disclaimer: Only in my dreams. Not even.
Oh, Olga's married in this story, but her husband doesn't make an appearance.
Helga Pataki lay sprawled out on her bed, her pink note book in front of her, and a black pen in hand.
It had been raining all week in Hillwood, and every baseball and football practice that she and her friends at PHS 122 had planned had to be cancelled. It was rather hard to run around on a field that was muddy and slippery.
Just ask Eugene, who had slipped running with a football, fell and broke both of his ankles.
Since she couldn't go out in the rain, Helga had decided that she would do some poetry writing. For some strange reason, a lot of her inspiration came to her when it was raining.
The main topic of her inspiration? The one who plagued her dreams at night? Why, it was none other than her classmate in biology, and her good friend, Arnold.
She and Arnold had gone way back, ever since preschool. Her parents forgot to drive her one day, as they were far too busy doting on and bragging about her sister Olga's latest accomplishment. Realizing her pleas were falling on deaf ears, she had no choice but to escort herself that day.
Little Helga arrived at Sunny Morning Pre School, soaking wet and splattered with mud. A stray dog had stolen her lunch bag, making matters just that much worse.
As she was about to walk in, a shadow loomed over her. She looked up to see a little boy with blonde hair and a rather odd shaped head. He was holding an umbrella over her.
It wasn't long before he had her at, "I like your bow." Because Arnold was the first person to show her any kindness, as simple as the gesture was, Helga knew she was in huge like-like with the boy.
That was over thirteen years ago. Even now, when they were good friends, she still harbored very intense feelings for Arnold. She'd even go as far as to say that it went past the innocent like him-like him, and had turned into full blown love.
He didn't know it, though. She had kept her secret all these years. When she was younger, she disguised her feelings from him by being the sole person who tormented him all through their elementary school years. The torment began to die down when they reached middle school.
They were in high school now, and he still didn't know. And Helga wasn't sure if she would ever tell him.
There was a loud knock on her door, stopping her from her writing.
"Come in," she called out, not taking her eyes off her notebook.
The door opened.
"Hey, baby sister," it was Olga, "I need to go to the store to pick up some things for the dinner I'm making tonight. I thought you might like to come along, get out of the house for a while."
"Thanks," Helga responded, "but I'm good."
Olga looked over her sister's shoulder to see the little pink notebook. A smile crept up on the older woman's face.
"Writing another poem dedicated to Arnold?"
It was that very comment that caused Helga to slam her notebook closed so hard, she might as well have put a dent in it.
"Wha…what?!"
Olga chuckled. She had always found it somewhat amusing when she caught her sister off guard. Perhaps it was the older sibling in her.
Before long, Helga was in her face, asking accusatory question after accusatory question.
In an attempt to defend herself, Olga held up her hands.
"Helga, baby sister, relax, I didn't go through any of your journals. Actually, I've known all along that you're in love with Arnold."
Helga blanched, which allowed Olga to enlarge her already sweet, yet non-malicious smile.
"And you're not exactly quiet when you go on your poetic escapades."
It was all Helga could do, to just slam herself back down on the bed, a frown of defeat etched on her face.
"So," Helga grumbled, "Are you going you use this against me? I wouldn't be surprised if you did. You already used the bed wetting story to embarrass me."
Olga followed suit, and sat down.
"Helga," she said, "I am sorry for telling your class that story. It was wrong of me to tell so many people something so personal, and I hope you can accept my apology for that. But, there's something else I wanted to share with you."
Helga frowned.
"And what would that be?"
Olga hesitated, thinking exactly how she should go about this. She knew the subject of Arnold was a very sensitive one for her sister.
She decided, that the best thing to do was just dive right in.
"Well, Olga began," you've been in love with Arnold for quite some time, haven't you? I could tell by the way you act around him, and the way you act when he's not around…."
"Olga, what's your point?"
"He doesn't know, yet, does he? Helga, why haven't you told him anything?"
Helga began to freeze up. Her blue eyes darted from Olga to her closet, almost as if the best excuse ever would leap out of that very closet, and save her skin.
"Uhm….well…he…he uhm….I…."
Olga waited patiently. If she knew Helga as well as she thought she did, an explosion was soon to come. The only thing she could do, was let the youngest Pataki ride it out.
"Oh, CRIMINY!"
And, there it was.
"Ok, fine, Olga. I haven't told Arnold. And I may never tell him. Look, I know I should tell him, but I can't."
Olga raised one slender eye brow.
"Why not?"
Helga's desire to keep the whole thing of Arnold to herself were suddenly destroyed , as if the walls of a damn had been weakened. She could no longer control or put the stop to the next banter that came from her mouth,
"I…I don't know, I just can't. Besides, he's not into me. He still has a crush on Lila, even though she's told him so many fucking times that she doesn't have any feelings for him, but he keeps holding onto something that's never going to happen. I mean, fuck. I don't even know what he sees in her. She's fake, superficial, has never actually gone out of her way to something nice for him, and yet, I've….GOD, I helped him save the freaking neighborhood. I helped him track down Mr. Hyuhn's daughter. Does that not mean ANYTHING?"
By the time she was done, Helga was panting heavily.
It was that very outburst, that told Olga all she needed to know.
"You're afraid that he'll reject you, aren't you, Helga? You're scared that if you tell him your true feelings, he'll reject you, and choose someone else. And you hate that thought, because you believe that you're the only one right for him. You're jealous of Lila, because she holds Arnold's affections, which she does not return, and you believe those should belong to you."
Helga's eyes widened. To her shock, Olga had just hit the nail on the head. For the many years that she admired Arnold, Olga has just summed up in one small speech.
But, Helga Pataki still had her pride. She slumped over on her bed slightly, arms folded, and crossed her legs.
"What's it to you, Olga," she said bitterly, "You've been in my position. You couldn't possibly understand."
Olga gave her sister a sad smile.
"Actually, Helga, I do understand. Do you honestly think my husband is the first man I've ever loved?"
Helga rolled her eyes.
"Olga, lots of people fall in love before they meet the one and get married. You're nothing special."
"His name was Josh Richtman."
Helga decided to just let her sister continue. The faster she was done talking, the sooner she would leave the room.
"I met him in grade school. It was when we were both lab partners in Miss. Slovak's class. He was one of the nicest people I have ever met. He'd help fellow students with their homework, and he would always offer half his sandwich to someone who had forgotten their lunch. He even picked me to be on his team for Dodge Ball. It wasn't before long that I started to develop feelings for him, because of that act of kindness."
Helga's eyes lit up. Arnold too had shown her an act of kindness. That's when everything had started. That one day had changed her life forever.
"Josh and I became great friends, as we got older but I wanted something more. I wanted to be more than friends. I wanted to tell him about how I truly felt. I wanted him to know everything, but, like you, I kept it to myself. He dated other girls, and I just…said nothing. I would smile, and tell him how happy I was, but I never said anything, I was too afraid."
Helga frowned.
"So, what exactly happened?"
"Well," Olga continued, "we both went off to college. Do you remember that day I came home from my second year during Christmas vacation? How I locked myself in my room for over a week?"
Oh, Helga did remember that week. Her parents had spent all that time trying to coax Olga out of her room. For the entire time, she played Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You," which proceeded to drive their father up the wall.
Bob Pataki would never deny Whitney could sing, but there was only so much of hearing that song he could take.
Especially when it was on repeat on full blast.
Which was one of the reasons he bought Olga a pair of headphones.
"I had gotten a phone call from Josh," Olga said, "he had told me that he just proposed to his girlfriend, and wanted to invite me to the wedding."
Helga looked up at her sister.
"Did you go?"
Olga shook her head.
"No. I made something up. I told him that grandmother was coming for the week, and that my parents really needed me to help out. Instead, I put on the best fake smile I had ever done, and told him how happy I was for him, and that the girl he was marrying was very lucky."
Just then, Olga's hands shot out, and gripped Helga's.
"Helga, don't…don't make the same mistake I did."
"Wait…what?"
"Look, I know you're too scared to tell Arnold, but I'm telling you right now, you need to, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
Helga wrenched her hand away.
"What…what are you talking about?"
Olga took her sister's hand, once more.
"I love my husband, Helga, I really do. I feel very blessed to be his wife, but...but, and I feel horrible for saying this, but…I don't love him nearly as much as I did Josh. Ever since that day, when Josh told me he was engaged, I spent every waking moment after that, wondering what could have been, and let me tell you Helga, it's not a very nice feeling."
This time, Helga didn't pull away.
"I know I can't tell you what to do, but I don't want you to go through I did. I know you're scared of Arnold rejecting you. I know because I went through it. Even if he did reject you, you'd have your answer. I just don't want you to go through life wondering what could have been."
Helga stared at her sister.
After a few moments, Olga got up.
"I need to go to the store. You're perfectly capable of making your own choices, Helga, but please….consider what I said."
And with that, she left.
Left Helga to ponder what Olga had told her.
In all honesty, it surprised her. In all her years that she had known Olga, she had thought her sister a complete airhead, utterly oblivious to the reality of the world around her. For Olga, everything seemed to be nothing more than rainbows and unicorns.
But this…this, was totally unexpected.
And the more Helga thought about her sister's advice, the more she thought about her secret, that she had kept for all these years.
What harm would it do, if she finally decided to truly be honest with Arnold?
Olga's words repeated themselves over and over again: it is better to know for sure, then to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.
Helga knew what she had to do. Enough waiting for a story that she had every strength to write herself. Enough wishing for a future with the man she loved, when she had the power to make it happen.
With shaky hands and an unsteady breath, pale and slender fingers fluttered towards her cell phone.
And that's the end.
I got this story idea from a personal experience of mine. I was friends with this guy (before I met my boyfriend) that I met in high school. We spent so much time together, and built a very strong friendship, and it got to the point where I did fall in love with him.
But, I was afraid to tell him, for fear of being flat out rejected. Truth it, we dated for a week once, and had a bit of a fling (no, I won't tell you the details, you don't need to know that), but I always wanted something more. While I would never do anything, I got jealous of the girls he dated. I'd think things like, why is he with someone like her, I know him better than she ever could, he's told me I've been the best friend he's ever had, so why am I not the one he chose?
Eventually, I did tell him. I gathered up the courage to tell him exactly for I felt? His response? He said he was very flattered, but wasn't looking for a relationship.
Was I hurt? Yes, but I felt better about the fact about his honesty.
His actions? A week or less later, he got into a relationship, and it wasn't with me.
That hurt worse than anything else.
But you want to know something? After a while, I accepted it for what it was. Hell, I was happy, even.
I wanted to write and post this fic, because I wanted to give encouragement to those who are in the same situation that I was in, or that Helga is in. If you are in love with someone, tell them. It will be scary and you may have your doubts.
But I believe it's better to know the truth about how the person you have feelings for feels about you, whether it's reciprocated fully, or rejected, than to spend the rest of your life, wondering what could have been. Even if you were rejected, as heart breaking as that can be, you would at least have your answer.
I hope you enjoyed my story.
