Think about the last thing you did that you really, truly regretted; the moments that keep you up at night, wishing you could go back and do all over.. Maybe you yelled at your parents, walked by someone who needed you help, turned your back on a friend. Big or small, they eat at us, slowly; sometimes as soon as we do it, other times the repercussions are only felt until way later. It's what makes us human, the ability to feel regret over what we do, to feel compassion and empathy and to be able to grow as a human being.
It's a bit like drowning, I believe, the moment you realize you did something wrong. The guilt, it eats at you, consuming your thoughts, and if you truly believe that you did something wrong, it becomes overwhelming. Sure, you'll keep on breathing. But each and every breath feels wrong, and the longer it goes, the harder it gets to breathe and go about living your life normally. And how refreshing is it, when you can finally get that weight off your chest? That moment when you face your fear and apologize, ask for forgiveness and repent; that moment when you finally break the surface and take that one huge breath of air, filling your lungs with sweet relief.
And yet, to us, we take that breath so often, and the weight isn't all that heavy. To us, we forgive and forget as we usually do.
Now imagine you spent your whole life, from cradle to grave, doing nothing but spite the people around you. A selfish bastard who loves nothing more than to watch the world burn. Incapable of forming an actual relationship, people hate you and you're proud of it. And then one day you look back on your life and realize it was all for nothing. And you take your first breath of fresh air.
And yet, that breath is still nothing.
Nothing compared to the King of Hell. Who has caused so much pain in his journey to the throne. Who has lived through lifetimes, LIFETIMES, of demonhood; a mangled and deranged soul who has been tortured for so long, he forgot what the light is like, what it's like to be human. Here's a man who has killed without any hesitation. To him, torturing others physically, psychologically, emotionally, is just another mean to a satisfying end. Humans are just ants to the King of Hell, "meat-suits" who provide nothing more than entertainment.
Now imagine his first experience as a human. The first time in a long time that he has felt true emotion. Shackled to a chair by the man using him to slam all the demons in Hell, where no doubt the torture begins again. He's scared, for obvious reason, a knight of Hell just having paid him a hostile visit, but all of a sudden there's something else. But what?
All that emotion; a demon who's forgotten what it's like to love. All that regret building inside him all at once. But he doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to react. All that turmoil and conflict inside him and all he can do is cry, a strangled plea to a sworn enemy, unable to even fathom what he can do to start asking for forgiveness.
A breath like that is more overwhelming than we can even imagine; the King of Hell, human again.
