Title: Bitter Taste of Moving On
By: Dimples
Summery: "His smile was too genuine, his laughter too intoxicating, his happiness too real. It stung." Warning: Season 4 Spoilers.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl.
A/N: This is my first ever attempt at fanfiction. I honestly have no idea where this came from. But here it goes.
He was different.
She noticed the minute he walked through the door. His features weren't as harsh. His eyes were softer. His smirk had morphed itself into a real smile. He looked beautiful. And so did Eva. He whispered in her ear, his arms wrapped protectively around her waist, she leaned into him and giggled. His smile was too genuine, his laughter too intoxicating, his happiness too real. It stung. She felt the bile rise to her throat, she needed to get away from him.
She heard the door of the study open. She didn't need to turn around to know it was him. It was always him.
"Where's Eva?"
Her name left a bad taste in her mouth.
"She's inside." He moved towards her.
She looked up at him. He was so close. Too close for comfort. "So what are you doing here?"
"I don't know. I just. . ." He stumbled on his words. He didn't know what to say. How could he after all that transpired? So he settled for civility. "It's been so long I wanted to see how you've been doing."
"Don't do this Chuck." She was tired. Emotionally exhausted. Paris was supposed to be a release. A romantic summer with her best friend but life was never that simple especially when it involved Chuck.
"Do what?"
"Stop pretending that you care." She turned around swiftly. She couldn't look at him.
"You're the one who stopped caring Blair, not me," his voice was harsher this time.
"Don't try to push this on me. We both know what you're capable of. Really bringing her here, wasn't Paris enough?"
"This isn't a game to me Blair."
"So what is this Chuck?" She turned back towards him and looked into his hazel eyes searching for something. It wasn't there.
He sighed.
Despite what anyone one else believed he cared about Eva. She cared for him, made him feel wanted, worthy, loved in ways he never imagined. She loved him at a time when he believed no one possibly could and for that he was grateful. But she wasn't Blair.
"She loves me." He couldn't look at her.
"So did I," she said weakly.
"And look where that got us," he rationalized. He wouldn't feel guilty about moving on. Its what she wanted. "I need real love, pure and simple love."
It was like a blow to the face. She took a step back. "You'd be bored within five minutes." She turned to leave.
He grabbed her elbow swiftly. He'd make her listen. "Better bored than ashamed of myself." Ashamed of the boy he was, the one who ruined her reputation. The man he'd become, the one who cared more about winning than the love of his life, the man he'd always be, the one who didn't deserve her.
She looked at him, her eyes watering. He let her go and she swiftly left the room.
He was right, they'd never be safe. She didn't deserve it. Neither did he.
