PONDERING
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Takes place after the events of "Carry Their Legacy" and is just Kelly's thoughts as he deals with the news about Anna, so spoilers for that ep if you haven't seen it yet. Belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
Kelly sighed and slumped his shoulders. Damn, I don't know what to say, he thought to himself. The marrow transplant hadn't worked. The cancer had come back. No wonder she was upset. How was he supposed to help her? He didn't know how to deal with this. Not that he regretted what he had done. Not by a long shot. He just hated that it hadn't took. She must've found out right before she and I met up with Dad and his date, he realized. No wonder she had been off. Like her father had said, the prognosis had caught her off-guard. Hell, he had been caught off guard and it hadn't even happened to him. Well, he wasn't going anywhere. Anna may not want him around, but he wasn't going to abandon her. What kind of boyfriend-or man for that matter-would he be if he just dropped her without a fight? A damn poor one, and that wasn't him. So yeah, he was going to stick by her no matter what. If she needed someone to lean on, he'd provide it. If she needed someone to rail on or shout at, he could do that. He wanted to do that for. He wanted her to be comfortable enough to share her fear and pain with him. Not letting her push me away, he thought to himself. Knowing Anna, she probably thought she was protecting him or something, but he didn't give a crap about being protected. He was a big boy and didn't need to be sheltered from the world. He was going to be her strength if she needed him to be. But first, he had to get up the nerve to talk to her. She was obviously still trying to deal with her prognosis and he didn't want her to feel pressured to tell him. Let her do things at her pace, he cautioned himself and then let out a scoff. That was easier said than done. He was wanting to march up to her and declare to her that he wasn't going anywhere and that they'd deal with things together. But he had a feeling that an action like that wouldn't be appreciated and would just lead to a fight. And that was the last thing he wanted. He then sighed again. He could deal with this later. He wasn't going to solve anything right now and to be honest, he was too worked up to be of any use to Anna and he knew it. It sucked, but it was the truth. So he would have to wait until he had calmed down a bit before approaching her. Yeah, totally easier said than done. But he'd do it for her. Because that's what you did for someone you loved: you let them go at their own pace and stood by them no matter what.
THE END
