"The Difference"
By darthelwig
*I own nothing. I'm just having fun.*
Steve Rogers understood why Pietro and Wanda Maximoff had volunteered for Strucker's experiments. Who could understand better than him? He had done the same- volunteering to be experimented upon in order to do what he felt he needed to do. He had subjected himself to something few others could even imagine. They were part of that few.
So he would never, could never, call Wanda a monster.
No matter that she did it to herself, questioning herself at every turn. He was maybe even beginning to understand what it must be like for her- left adrift, knowing the thing you had dedicated that sacrifice to might not have ever been worthy of that sacrifice. Her motivation had been vengeance, his had always been a burning need to prove himself, his worth. Was either of those goals any less selfish than the other?
He had his doubts, and he wasn't used to doubting the very core of who he was, his own heart. Had the division of the team been of his own creation? Was Tony really to blame? Tony had been doing what he thought was right, and so had he, but which way was the right way? Who could say? Had he been wrong?
He couldn't take it back, even if he wanted to, and he didn't really want to. He had Bucky here, safe and mostly sound. They were going to find a way to help him. They were going to find a way to make things right again. Reaching out to Tony had been the first step in that direction. He and the others would train. They would wait. And when they were called upon, they would answer. It was what they were meant to do.
He just couldn't bring himself to let the governments of the world dictate that answer for them. And when had that changed? When had he stopped being a soldier? He meant what he had said before. He wasn't the same man who had gone into the ice. Waking in a government sponsored lie, in a time definitely not meant for him, had shaken him to the core. Everything that had happened with SHIELD since had only cemented his newfound distrust in the government that was supposed to lead them. He didn't see leaders. He saw liars. How could he let those people be in charge of making the decisions for such a powerful group of people?
He couldn't. Easy as that. They knew what they could do, and they knew what they should do. Their duty was to protect. He would not let their team devolve into some sort of political chess piece. They were meant for more than that. Tony was afraid of himself, afraid of the things he had done and could do, but that fear couldn't and shouldn't rule their lives. Why couldn't Tony see that?
Every time he doubted himself, Steve came back to that simple truth. Tony was coming at things from a place of fear, and that was never the right way to go. That was what helped combat the voice in Steve's head that told him maybe he had made a horrible mistake leading his friends into this situation. That's what kept him going every day.
He may not always be right, but he never let fear make his decisions for him- never had, never would.
And that made all the difference in the world.
