Dealing with this mask, let me tell you. Heat over blood-red material, all tight and skin compacted...Hold up! Is that whistling? Very kind. Don't mind if I do. Autograph here and for you too, short-stuff…Hard to be this freakin' smexy, I know. Anyhow…The whole Deadpool get up. Hot, hot- Boiiiiling.

Wade…Who is it, now? Who are we talking to?

Shut your trap! This is me and the fans. Wade interview time! Soooo, as I was saying before /someone/ so rudely interrupted me…It's an inferno you have to burn in.

You sorta chose to bear with it a long time ago….

Because I have no choice! One more- one more strike and I'm giving you a flipping….You should know- out of anyone…there was never a choice. Not after I became their freak-show.

You only wanted to live, Wade…you're no freak for that.

No freak? You're the tiny alien thingy in my head! You're not supposed to lie to me! Look at this…Actually, don't look! No one should have to witness….that.

Get that mirror away from here! My mask…Where the hell did you send it off to? No no noo. Where is it? Where- Aha! Here it is, thought you could hide it from me!

That's better….Mask stays on, got that, buster?! This is the only face /anyone/ should ever see, even me…

Don't do that to us, 'kay? Don't you ever do that again! I'll make sure you end up with a mega-lashing for these sick jokes, these cruel stunts…

Are you crying?

No, you m-moranator…I-I'm laughing, see! I'm the funny- funniest guy this side of the show. H-Ha ha…Just me and my spectacle…A stage with only…me- alone.

Why would I cry when I can laugh?

This is who you are, Deadpool. And you said it, didn't you? You finally see the truth.

There is no /me/. No us. You are alone in this world, Wade Wilson.

Shut up, mean-bob! Wait- What?...N-No. Don't leave me..I can't hear you anymore. Can't l-laugh…What is this? T-Tears…Come back, make them stop!

I'm all I've got…

There has to be an /us/….

How could anyone love you when you can't love yourself?

My..M-My Lady Death…S-She loves me. But..my Mistress and I can't be together…no confetti throwing, no warmth, no love story endings for Deadpool!

There is no ending whatsoever for Deadpool, can't you see?! No matter how hard I try…

All I wanted was to get past terminal, to live and now…..well-

Live, won't die, live, suffer some load more and living on will be your punishment.

Irony, much?

It's not really...that hard to understand, is it? But you do, don't you?

Buddy? Pal…

..

Answer me!

Please…..

No..no, no. This silence...It means- You truly are gone.

Ha ha, anyone…..?