John! A pen!
-SH
I'm out getting groceries. I'll be back in 20 minutes.
-JW
You were right next to me not two moments ago.
-SH
Sherlock, I've been gone since half past nine.
-JW
No, you were just here. I've been talking to you.
-SH
How many patches have you got on?
- JW
Four. This is a four patch problem.
- SH
What is it now?
-JW
Moriarty is back, I think.
-SH
How on earth could he possibly be back?
-JW
I'm back, aren't I?
- SH
But you shot him in the head.
-JW
I did not. And I fell off a building.
- SH
I thought that was a double.
-JW
My point exactly, John.
-SH
How could Moriarty possibly have had a double?
-JW
John, really. Look past the obvious.
-SH
He's not the sort of man who would use a double to hide behind. He likes the attention.
-JW
But he wanted my attention. I didn't give it to him. This could be another motive to get it. Not that HE'S someone I'd give it to...
-SH
Of course not. That he pretended to not exist does show a desperate bid for attention, though. But why would he choose to reappear now?
-JW
John, really? Are you that dense?
-SH
Only when you tell me I am.
- JW
Well, John, you're being rather dense at the moment.
-SH
Then explain, please.
-JW
Honestly. He's jealous.
-SH
Of what?
-JW
Of WHOM, John. -
SH
Well, besides you.
-JW
You.
-SH
What, he wants me?
-JW
...No. He wants me. He's jealous of you.
-SH
Ah. That makes things interest.
- JW
That's one way to put it. Irritating seems more accurate.
- SH
True. What's the evidence that he's back?
-JW
He texted me.
-SH
That definitely is worrying.
-JW
GL dared to say he was a zombie after my brains. The nerve.
-SH
The man has no brain to begin with.
-JW
Moriarty thinks that you and I do "it" in the bedroom. Surely he doesn't mean...?
-SH
Oh, I believe he does. I don't know why he thinks that, though.
-JW
Lestrade said he wasn't surprised.
-SH
This coming from the man who can't maintain a relationship.
-JW
He said that you'd say that. He also said that Sarah was just your... beard? I don't understand. This frustrates me.
-SH
No. No she's not. And trust me, you don't need to understand. Suffice to say that I don't need to cover for anything.
-JW
John, what does it mean? You don't even really grow a beard.
-SH
No, it means that he thinks I'm trying to cover up being gay, which I'm not.
-JW
Ah. ...ah. Right. I see. Ah. Well, do you mean you're not covering up that you're gay, or that you're not gay? - SH
Both. Mostly.
-JW
Right. Well. I told Lestrade that he was wrong anyways. You're my friend, I told him, so I would know if you had a "beard."
-SH
Right?
-SH
