Merlin was just staring at the beauty of that woman's face.
He really didn't know who she was, neither where she had come from. All he knew was that he was just trying to find the source of Magic, as Gaius had told him to do, and he had harrived to that cave, where there was no sun, but a sort of sparkling pink light coming from nowhere.
And there she was, and she was beautiful, nobody could have denied. Red long hair, of the same color of the sun when it comes up to the sky from the dead land.
"Who are you, Wizard? Who are you? And how you dare to come where nobody before had come, alive at least?"
"I'm Merlin, my lady. Merlin from the Reign of Camelot. Merlin, the friend of the Old Drake."
The eyes of the woman maybe changed a bit at that moment, but that could hardly have been seen from a normal eye, like mine or yours.
"The old Drake, isn'it? Mmm...i thought he was long gone, but it seems i made a mistake. I am happy, i suppose. Nobody likes beeing alone."
"But...but who are you, my lady?"
"I'm this and that, i'm me and you. Doesn't matter."
The more Merlin looked at those eyes, the more he liked them. Looking better, they were slightly purple, but again, we are normal people, and we wouldn't have seen in that dark place.
"I ask you, Wizard: why do you come? Why?"
"Gaius told me to look for the Source of Magic. I need it. Camelot is in great danger nowadays, and i need it to defend Camelot and its king, Arthur."
"Mmm, i see. So Uther was not so useless, after all. I see. Drakes have alway been smart creature. The smartest, i suppose."
"Will you help me? I see you know a lot of things about all that is coming around."
That strange woman smiled, but still she didn't answer. She moved on herself and went down, deeper in the dark, to the darkest of the shadows.
"Follow me, Wizard. Follow if you can."
Merlin felt his heart beating more and more. He knew it was normal, he had read it on several books. But still he was afraid it was going to break.
But at the same time he thought of Arthur, of his good heart, and of all the good things he could have done for Camelot. But he also thought of that evening, when it seemed they were alone in the world, standing alone, hand in the hand, watching the storm.
And Merlin followed, down and down.
It seemed to him he was not alone at all, but raither surrounded by creatures he couldn't see. But they was there, looking at him with curiosity and desire. Desire of what, he couldn't say.
It looked like a sort of strange dance: he was going down, knowing not to where and how, but he knew he had to. And he felt a sort of peace in that, cause earth is earth, and even if you seem to despise it with your behaviour, you belong to it, and nothing can change nor will change.
Was there a lake? Was that water? It seemed so, and he stopped.
And from the dark a light appeared, and it seemed as if he had never really existed before nor will exist later.
He felt consciousness streaming in his veins, from the heart to the legs and back. He felt like he knew everything he could, from the sun high in the sky to the unknown strange beasts that live in the depths of the seas.
And there he was, standing in a graveyard, tears in the eyes, on a grave with a huge golden drake, the great Excalibur in the mouth.
"Why did it happen? Why did i let it happen?" he was whispering. But he was alone, alone, lost in a space and a time he didn't know at all.
And Arthur was hugging him, his powerfull arms knotted around his trembling body, both crying, both afraid, both in love. "Forgive me, Arthur, forgive me, please."
And Morgana was laughing, cause she was mad, and reality doesn't always exist, at least not the same reality for all.
And Merlin was dying, he knew. Artur would have stayed alone, leading a life poor of everything, untill the last of the days, looking a ruining Camelot, driven by a corrupted lady.
No more.
Merlin was running back to Camelot, his horse exhausted, but he couldn't stop.
He was not sure, but what he had seen was probably an anticipation of what was coming.
Afraid he was, he felt it in his legs, in his arms and in every fucking piece of his body, which didn't want to stop.
He had fallen in love with Arthur from the beginning maybe, or maybe not.
He loved the way they were whene they were together, how they looked at each other, with a bit of hope for the future and a bit of love for the present.
He loved how they stayed alone on the highest of the towers in Camelot, where nobody could see them. There was not Morgana over there, nor marriages or unhappiness. There was only silence, and right in the center of that silence they stood together, the king and the wizard.
No, now that he knew what was coming, he wouldn't have let it come, and that for sure.
So with this heavy mind he came back to Camelot, thinking of the future, but first of all thinking of Arthur.
Gwen was in the great hall, alone with Arthur.
The king was uneasy on the throne: ho continued moving on that seat, trying not to think, but, you know, it is hardly impossible to stop your mind.
"Your Highness, please..."
"You don't have to endure it all, Gwen. You are a good woman, you can go and do what you think is better."
Gwen couldn't stand to see his husband in that condition. He knew all, but still something deep in his heart couldn't stop.
"You insult me, your know i couldn't let you even if i wanted."
Arthur whispered. "Forgive me Gwen. I have spoken without thinking. What would Uther think about me, if he was just here, watching at us?"
Gwen couldn't answer. Uther would have been a storm on them both, cause a king can't marry a slave, and a slave is shit, and all have been this way from the day of the days.
But more than this, Uther would have killed his own son, with his own hands, watching him dyind and cursing th Gods, if he had known what he did with Merlin.
"Not now, You Highness, not in these dark days. Uther has long gone, and i thank the Gods for that. You are the king now, you know."
Arthur sighed again. "You're always right, Gwen. Sometimes i feel guilty for all you do for me, cause i give you little in return."
Gwen took his hand and caressed it softly, tears hidden in her eyes. "Don't worry about it. You know i chose it, and i would choose it again and again."
The gates suddenly opened and Gawain hurried in, little drops on his forehead.
"Your Highness, Merlin is here!"
And when Merlin hurried him too, Gwen felt the same unhappiness of always: Arthur loved him, she knew. But she couldn't stop thinking of his husband, of him and Merlin together, in the dark of their love. Was it love? She knew the answer.
Arthur was the exact picture of relief.
"Well done, Gawain. Now leave, please!"
And the exact moment the door closed again, he stood up from the throne, and hurried down to his Merlin. And yes, in that moment his mind was free for sure.
