I don't ship Phan.
I don't ship Phan.
I don't ship Phan.

...

Fuck, I ship it harder than Titanic.

So this is actually WhoNeedsNormality's fault. She was the one who made me like this ship in first place and then she made me believe I can actually write Phan/Gay stuff in general (which I can't btw k). Then I don't know how I had this idea for a one shot and... Well, WNN again said she liked it so I said "fuck life's too short imma post it lolz". Let's dedicate this to her bc I love her too.

This is the weirdest A/N I've ever written.

Well, enjoy.


I'm in the living room reading an old magazine I found under the couch as I sit sideways in it; my legs draped over the armrest. My eyes go from side to side as they decipher the words; however I couldn't be more distracted. If you ask me what I just read, I'll just shrug. I glance at the clock for the fifth time in less than ten minutes; somehow hoping time would just pass faster somehow. It's almost 7pm; Phill should be home by now.

I try not to think about it, but I hope he's alright. I look at my phone, checking for new messages or missed calls every now and then; always checking if I didn't mute my phone by accident.

I was about to check it again when the door slowly opens. I turn my head to look at it. After what felt like forever, Phill finally enters the house. I try not to show how relieved I am to see he's fine, but can't help letting out a small sigh. He starts to walk toward me and I sit up to make room for him, however he just passes by without saying a word.

"Phill?" I ask, tilting my head.

He takes his backpack off and drops it on the floor, sticking his hands down his pockets and going to the bathroom. He doesn't even turn his head to look at me, and if he heard me calling him he pretended he didn't. I hear the sound of running water and assume he's mad for some reason and decided to relax, I guess. I lie down on the couch again and stare at the ceiling, running my fingers through my hair as I get bored again.


I open my eyes a little confused. The room is all dark; all I can see are the shadows around me. I rub my eyes and realize I had fallen asleep. I reach out and tap the table by my side, looking for my phone. After a few useless tries, I manage to find it and grab it. I press the button to make the screen light up, and it hurts my eyes that had gotten used to darkness. It takes me a while, but I'm finally able to see what time it is: 8:17pm.

I see the bathroom door opening and Phill leaves it, a towel around his waist and his hair wet. For some reason, I pretend to be asleep when he enters the living room to go to his room. He passes by me and I can almost swear he looked at me for a moment, but it's hard to tell when you can't fully open your eyes because you're pretending to be asleep in the dark. I wait until I hear a door closing and then the sound of it being locked and then I finally sit up and walk to the kitchen.

As I absently get myself a glass of water, I can't help but think how weird Phill's been acting lately. He's been ignoring me, avoiding conversations and missing my calls - and for some reason I feel he does it on purpose. If someone's giving him trouble, I'll give them a piece of my mind. But how can I find out what's been bothering him if he won't even talk to me?

I turn around just in time to see Phill on the doorway, his back on me as he tries to leave. Had I turned around one second later, I wouldn't have seen him.

"Phill?"

He stops walking and turns around, his hair still wet from the shower he took. He rests his back against the wall and looks at me for one second before looking down at the floor.

"I didn't mean to wake you up." He mutters.

"You didn't. I was just taking a nap." After his lack of reply, the silence starts to get awkward. I look around and start to tap my foot. "You took a long shower. Is there anything bothering you?" I force a chuckle; however my concern couldn't be bigger.

"No. I was just tired."

"Ok, then... Are you sure?"

He just shrugs then nods in response.

"Where were you today, by the way? It took you so long to get home."

He shrugs again.

"I'm going to write a letter to congress and get shrugging outlawed." I say, trying to make that situation less awkward.

The corners of his mouth go up for a second in a quick smile before his face goes back to being sad.

"I'll go to sleep now." He says, turning around and leaving the kitchen. I raise an eyebrow before following him.

"Already? It's not even nine yet. I was hoping we could do something, I've been kind of bored..."

"I'm really tired."

"Really? Why? What did you do today?" I try to look innocent, but I just want to find out something about this whole situation. I can tell there's something he's not telling me.

"Nothing, really. I just want to rest."

"Phill..." I quickly move my arm and wrap my hand around his forearm to keep him from walking away, but without even looking at me he pulls himself from my hold. I freeze in place as I watch him walking away and going back to his room. It's the first time he ever reacts like that to my touch. He had never once pulled him away from me. It's something so silly that it shouldn't shock me, it really shouldn't.

Then why do I feel like crying?


Stupid. Stupid. So stupid. I don't feel like crying over something so stupid. I don't feel upset about something so stupid.

I brush my teeth as I try to dismiss everything that happened tonight. If he doesn't want to tell me what's bothering him, fine. I tried to show him I care, that I'm here for him, but does he want my help? Guess not.

I decide to go to sleep even if I'm not tired. I just want to forget everything. I hope I wake up tomorrow and he's gone to who knows where. I hope he doesn't come back until I'm already sleeping so I don't have to face that ungrateful person ever again.

I lie down in my bed and close my eyes prepared to have the best night of rest one can have. I take a deep breath and relax. Who cares if he doesn't talk to me? Who cares if he doesn't tell me something? Who cares if he comes back home later and later every night? Who cares if he never comes back again?

My bed couldn't be more comfortable. I couldn't be more comfy and I even start to get sleepy. However, my eyes shot open as I sit up.

Damn it. I care.


It has been one hour since my failed attempt to sleep. I'm lying on the couch again, trying to make things any clearer. I feel this weird knot in my stomach like if I was going to throw up even if I haven't eaten anything for hours. I can't eat when I'm nervous, and I have been nervous a lot this week. Thank you, Phill.

I turn my head to look toward the door of his room. I don't know exactly why, but I stand up and walk toward it. I can't take this anymore; I'm going to make him tell me why he's been acting so weird lately. If he doesn't want to do it the easy way; we're going to do it the hard way. I care so much about him that it's starting to affect me, and he doesn't have the right to do that.

I put my hand on the knob and shake my head. What the hell am I doing? He's probably asleep by now. What am I going to do? Wake him up and yell at him for acting so weird only to have him not telling me anything? It would probably make things worse between us, anyway. I rub my eyes and turn around, however I hear something coming from his room.

"Phill?" I call with the volume just above that of a whisper. He doesn't reply, but I still hear something coming from inside his room. It sounds like his voice, but I can't really be sure. It's something low and somehow shaky. I press my ear to the door of his room, but I'm startled when the door gives in and opens. It wasn't closed, after all. Now it's open a crack and I can hear that the thing I heard is indeed his voice. It sounds so weird.

"Phill?" I call once more, this time louder. I wait for him to call for me or say something, but his lack of reply makes me worried. I almost wish to hear him telling me to go away; because it would mean he was paying attention to me. But nothing happens; only silence. And those weird shrieks I hear eventually coming from his room.

I feel worried. I know he's probably just sleeping; I should turn around and go away. I'm still mad at him. But I can't help feeling worried. I put my hand on the door and push it open slowly.

I enter his room to find him shaking in his bed. His fists are clenched and he doesn't seem to be breathing quite like he should. My heart starts to beat faster as I approach his bed, but I manage to keep a calm voice.

"Phill? Are you alright?" It was quite obvious that he wasn't, but I really didn't know what else to say.

"Why are you saying that?" He whispers as I tilt my head in confusion. So he was indeed making those shrieks I heard.

"Saying what?"

"Please, you can't be serious. Please."

It takes me a moment to realize he's dreaming. Well, that explains the closed eyes. I sit by his side on the bed, trying to avoid his feet that keep shaking and nearly kick me twice.

"Phill" I say, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Wake up."

"Why do you hate me, Dan? What did I ever do to you?" He mutters in his sleep once more. What the hell is he dreaming about? I shake my head and try to wake him up again.

"Just wake up."

"Please, don't hate me. You can't hate me. I love you!"

What. The. Hell.

"Phill!" I scream at last. I don't know what to think to be honest. He bolts upright in the bed as he gasps awake.

His deep blue eyes stare at me. I raise an eyebrow at his confused face, but it's my turn to get confused when he wraps his arms around me and starts to breathe heavily. I do nothing for a while, but then I finally start to tap his back.

"There, there." I say awkwardly. He slowly lets me go and tries to calm down. "Nightmare?" I ask. 'No, Dan, he was screaming in his sleep because he just had the best dream ever', I think to myself.

He looks at me again and nods, sitting by my side. "I-it was so awful." He says, nervous.

"What was it about?" I ask, trying to ignore the thing I heard when he was sleeping.

"You... You said you hated me." He blushes and looks down. Damn it, he's so adorable.

"Hey." I say, moving my hand to his chin and lifting his head, so he's looking at me in the eye. "That's never going to happen. You're my best friend."

He stares into my eyes for what seemed like forever; I can't help getting lost in those small pieces of sky he calls eyes.

"Actually..." He starts. I keep my hand on his chin; I can hear his heart beating faster as mine starts to do the same. "I... I... I need to... Tell you something." He stutters as he tries not to make eye contact.

"I know." I say. His eyes widen a little for a second, and the blue is the last thing I see before closing my eyes and leaning closer to him, closing the small gap there was between us when our lips touch, breaking apart for air a few seconds later. "I love you too."

I will never be able to describe how weird yet how right it felt to come from a kiss and see his face in front of mine. I can't help but giggle a little. He looks so shocked, so lost, so confused. The poor little thing. He's blushing a lot, and I realize I must be too. I just hope the red in my face is not as intense as it is on his face. It makes him look cute, but I'm sure I would look ridiculous.

"What?" He says, breathing fast.

"I love you too." I say, pressing my forehead against his.

"B-But how d-do you know it? Who told you?"

"You did it, silly." I say, leaning even closer until our lips brush together, not quite kissing him yet. "When you were dreaming."

"Oh." He blushes even more. "I'm sorry."

"But I'm not." I say, the smile in my face growing bigger. "I'm glad you did."

Before I can do it myself, he closes the gap between us and we kiss for the second time. But this time he actually kisses me back. I put my hand on his neck, pulling him a little closer, but he soon pulls his head back and our kiss is over. I don't want to push too far, even if I wish I didn't have to breathe so we could kiss forever.

"Do you have any idea how weird it is to see your face after a kiss?"

"Same here." He chuckles.

I shake my head as he wraps his arms around me and I ruffle his hair. We lay down on his bed together, his head resting on my chest as my hand reaches for the blanket and I pull it up until we're both ready to sleep.

"I love you." He mutters.

"I love you too, silly."

As we fall asleep in each other's arms, I have the feeling he won't have another nightmare tonight.


And they lived happily ever after.

Hahahaha no.

Thank you for reading, see yah next fic.