Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Deidara, I do, however, own Ayame. That bitch is mine.
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He hadn't thought that visiting his grave would be this much of a big deal to him. He didn't even know why he was going there, he just knew that it was where his feet were currently taking him.
When he arrived, he found something he hadn't expected. He stood out of sight, in the trees and watched her as she crouched down in front of the dull stone with his name carved into it.
It had been three months since Ayame had last visited Deidara's grave.
It had been almost a year without him.
She knelt down in front of the grey rock and took a deep breath.
"Hey, Dei, it's me, Ayame... It's been so long since I last saw you... I still have all those photos on my bedroom wall. I know you never really thought they were art, but now that you're gone, I can still appreciate the parts of you that are going to be here forever in those photos. Everyone misses you. They won't say it, but they do...I know they do."
She sighed.
"I wish you could talk back. I wonder if you can even hear me...I hope you can."
She didn't know that he was listening.
"Is everyone else with you? Heh, I guess it's kinda stupid, asking questions that you can't answer, right? Well, uh, if they are, let them know that they're all missed too. There aren't many of us left now..."
He stood in the forest behind her, watching her tiny form with an unusually soft expression.
"Dei...why did you blow yourself up?"
His eyes saddened a little. Her eyes filled up.
"Why did you leave us? Here I go again asking questions you can't answer... Dei, it's about time for me to say what I've always felt I couldn't tell you, so here I go."
She had mapped out her thoughts carefully before she left the base.
Deidara listened intently.
"Deidara, you're a reckless idiot!"
He sighed. He knew where this was going.
"You were always getting yourself into fights that you may or may not have won and, even though your certainty about winning made the rest of us feel optimistic, you were never careful enough, you never prepared properly! Deidara, what was wrong with you?" She looked down at his name carved into the boring stone with a certain gentleness that she had only ever shown him. "What did they teach you in Iwagakure?"
A single tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, denying its existence.
"I'm not crying, if that's what you're thinking now. Shinobi don't cry, remember? No matter what." She scoffed. "I never understood it. We broke all the rules. The Akatsuki, I mean. Every last one...except for that rule. To never show emotion. Why did we care about that one so much?"
All he wanted in that moment was to hold her again.
"Somewhere deep down, I know that you and Sasori wanted to be real friends. I know everyone wanted to mourn your death, it affected all of us, Hell, I'm sure even Leader wanted to mourn you openly! I'm sure of it! Well, why can't we? We're only human, after all! We're only human..."
She tried wiping away her tears, but they kept on coming. Even now, she just wanted be able to keep to that one rule.
"Tobi told me exactly what happened that day. He says you went mad, you were so intent on killing Sasuke that it drove you crazy! What were you thinking?"
Her voice broke.
"Y'know, every time someone drops something around the base and it make a loud 'boom' sound, I always think it's you coming back from a long mission and then I realise how wrong I am. Every time Kisame tries to cook and blows up the kitchen. Every time the lightning strikes. Every time a grenade goes off in battle, or an explosive jutsu. Every time we see the encased Shukaku, we all hang our heads."
He moved forwards so that he was standing only two feet away from her. He smiled at her softly, grateful for everything she was saying.
"You're not forgotten, Deidara. You're explosions are going off all around me. I know you're still here."
She traced his name in the rock and smiled sadly.
Rain began falling from the skies and quickly got heavier.
"It's starting to rain...I should really get going. Remember everything I said, okay? You'll never be forgotten, I promise. I won't let that happen."
She stood up.
"Sayonara, Dei."
Ayame turned on her heel and froze. He was standing there in the pouring rain. The man she had lost.
But he was different. His headband was gone, his hair hung looser, but it was still the same.
He somehow looked younger.
But his eyes.
The whites of his eyes were black now.
Deidara grinned at her confused expression and closed the gap between them.
She carefully touched his face. "Are you real?"
He chuckled. "I'm real, hm."
"H-how much of that did you hear?"
"Everything."
She took a step back, the kunoichi in her finally woke up and realised what was going on. The dead don't just show up after being gone for so long. "You can't be here...you're dead. "
"When you first joined the Akatsuki I thought you were a spy so I punched you in the face and broke your nose. Afterwards, Sasori reprimanded me for it and made me apologise. I spent an entire month after that running around doing your bidding, hm. You even made me let you do my hair and makeup and then made me walk around looking like a cheap drag queen all day. I hated you for that, hm."
"Everybody knew about that. How do I know you're not another one of Sasori's subordinates that turned traitor? They all knew about that as well."
He sighed and pulled her towards him. There was only one way to convince her.
He pressed his lips against hers and held her close to him, his hands on her hips. She pulled him closer still, her hand on the back of his neck, the other playing with his hair.
The rain washed over their faces, making it weirdly romantic considering the cemetery setting.
It was everything she remembered his kisses to be. Slightly rough, but also careful. Passionate and gentle. It was a kiss only he could give her.
It was everything she missed.
They pulled apart and leaned their foreheads together, staring into each others eyes.
"Okay," she breathed. "I believe you."
