Konnichiwa minna-san! Ex-Shark-Virtue-005 is here with the unthinkable, a one shot. I know I've expressed my discontent with one-shots but I need to get a few things out and this is the only way I know how to do so. Yes it is another Tieria Erde fic, he's agreed to help me get a few things off of my chest before they suffocate me. So right after the disclaimer you can start reading.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam 00 or the characters I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Emotionless
Love and hate, what are they? Why does every human being obsess over such abstract concepts? In my eyes they are nothing more than useless feelings that leave person weak in the end. So then why? Why are they so important in day to day life? I just don't understand it at all.
What do Love and hate mean to me, Tieria Erde? Nothing. Nothing at all. Veda taught me everything that I needed to know about life, yet love and hate were never mentioned. Veda never informed me of such petty things such as emotion or love and hate. So they must not be important.
Yet I wonder about it all the time, what is love and hate and why does everyone obsess over them? Is it possible that Veda neglected to teach me something? No, impossible, Veda would never do that, not to me, her son.
But why? Why am I so intrigued? If love and hate are so petty then why do I feel so compelled to learn more about them? Now I'm confused, Veda help me. Teach me about love and I hate…I don't understand…
Find out for yourself. Veda cannot teach you everything.
Wait! But why? Why can you not help me!? You promised that you would teach me everything that I needed to know! So why aren't you teaching me about something that is so crucial in society!?
Veda cannot teach you about love and hate. Veda knows nothing of them. Consult your comrades, they will know the answers you seek, Tieria Erde.
What am I going to do now? I can't just go up to everyone and ask such a silly question. What are they going to think when I ask such a question? But I want to know. How an I going to find out?
You may already know the answers to your question.
But how? I don't know anything about love or hate. Veda what are you getting at?
Think for yourself. You'll find what you are looking for.
Think for myself and I'll find what I'm looking for? Veda what…?
Think, Tieria Erde.
Love what is it? How does one define love? Love can be defined as a profoundly tender passionate affection for another person. Or a Feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend. Or even the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from God to them. But God does not exist in this world, you can just ask Setsuna that.
But textbook definitions do not help me. If they did, I wouldn't be so confused in the first place. Wait perhaps I'm looking in all the wrong places. Perhaps the answer I am looking for is in the behaviors and actions of my comrades. Every single one of them must have something they love.
Sumeragi Li Noriega has her alcohol. Could that be considered love? Could Sumeragi Li Noriega's constant need for alcoholic beverages be considered love? Can love even be directed towards inanimate objects?
What about Setsuna F. Seiei? He seems to be attached to the Gundam Exia. Is that attachment love? Love is defined as a personal attachment, but the Gundam Exia isn't a person, a friend or a parent. So is it love?
Feldt Grace seems to be very close to Lockon Stratos. Her face turns pink whenever he talks to her and she seems very open to him. Is that love? Does Feldt Grace love Lockon Stratos? They're both people so is it love?
What about me? Do I have anything I "love?" Is what I feel towards Veda love? Or is it something else? I have always considered myself Veda's son but she told me she knows nothing of love or hate. So what is it? Do I love Veda or not?
Human children have a special bond that they share with the woman who birthed them. Is that bond love? Do Veda and I share that bond even though neither of us are human? Or is love something that only humans feel? Am I even capable of love?
Ugh why…? Why can I not figure it out at all? After all of the thinking I've done, why is the only thing I have a headache? What the hell is love? Someone please answer!
You have all the answers in front of you Tieria Erde.
What…what does that mean…? Have I really found what I am looking for? Ugh…my head…I can't think anymore tonight and it's gotten quite late. I think I'll get some sleep and maybe I'll figure it out when I wake up.
I can't sleep. Why are such petty concepts keeping me up? Am I really that bothered by them? Am I really that bothered by not know what love and hate are? I've thought so much about love perhaps if I think about hate for a while both will sink in.
Hate, what is it? Hate can be defined only as to dislike intensely or passionately; to feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility towards; to detest. Why is it that while love has twenty-eight definitions hate only has four? Is hate more concrete than love? But then why does hate confuse me as much as love does? Do any of my comrade know of such a deep dislike?
What about Lockon Stratos? He once asked me "What is wrong with despising terrorism?" Does Lockon "hate" terrorism? I don't understand how such an abstract concept comes so natural to him, while it only confuses me. Why does Lockon hate terrorists so much? Did something happen in his past to cause him to hate terrorism so much?
Can I hate? Is it possible to hate with having love? I know I don't particularly care for Setsuna F. Seiei, but is it hate? Do I hate Setsuna F. Seiei? Or is it something else like my feelings for Veda? What about screwing up the mission plans? Do I hate that? I was distraught when I revealed GN-004 Gundam Nadleeh but was that a feeling of hate? Or was that just disappointment for failing Veda?
I don't know! I have nothing! I have nothing to love or to hate! Is it a result of not being human? Do I not know what love and hate are because I have nothing to love and hate? Veda is that it?
Veda cannot help you with that, Tieria Erde. Only you can make that judgment.
Is that the case? Do you need to love something in order to understand it? Is that why I never understood it? If it is then I, Tieria Erde, am incapable of love and hate.
I know that was way totally angsty but I needed to get that out. You can take it or leave it, but I needed to get my thoughts out one way or another. Thanks for listening to an irritated angsty college student vent through fan fiction. Arigato Minna-san!
Ex-Shark-V-005
