"Oh! For the love of Valar, why is this happening to me."
If you had by any chance lived in middle earth sometime in the second ages, and happened to hear that voice, you would probably dismiss it as the doing of some dark magic and move on. However, because our presence at the said time is highly unlikely, I will tell you why. Everyone (let me repeat loudly) EVERYONE, (with a stress on 'every'; okay, I am digressing) knew that Elrond never ever proclaimed his love for the Valar so much sounding like a curse.
But given the circumstances, Elrond can be forgiven for throwing up his hands and calling on the Valar. The herald of the mighty king Gil-hlad stood soaking wet in the rain in front of a swamp with no hope of shelter even if he did manage to cross the swamp. The message he has to deliver to his lord was carefully wrapped in canvas and tucked inside his robe, but it will be no use anyway, if he couldn't get it to him in the next couple of days. That sort of made him think twice about going back the way he came.
Again, EVERYONE knows that Elrond never wrings his hands, but if you have seen him then, you would have believed him quiet capable of just the act.
"Well, well, well. Trust a pretty elf to stand in the rain and ponder his delicate shoes getting wet in the marsh."
Elrond whipped around to see a dwarf, barely the height of his waist but old going by the gray hair and the wrinkles, standing right behind him. Elrond was annoyed beyond measure. Here he was thinking that the day could not get any worse and it just did.
"I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself dwarf."
"Hum, when have you lot ever learnt that you cannot command the dwarves as you do the humans."
"Well, no one accused your lot of good sense."
"Not that you can be credited with much sense, judging by the fact that you are just standing in the rain getting wet."
"So are you."
"Well, I have my reasons laddy. My cave is just beyond the marsh and there is a perfectly dry bed and a pot of roast just waiting for me."
Elrond looked at the dwarf up and down and snorted. The dwarf smiled ruefully.
"Look there is a way both of us can…"
"Don't even think about is." Elrond cut him in and sat down on the banks stubbornly. He pulled his robe over his head and hunched inside. He knew he looked like a giant black toad from the backside, but he didn't delve on it. After all, the cold was doing a very good job of numbing his senses.
The dwarf leant on his axe and the two watched the rising water level for a while.
Elrond cursed (silently of course) and weighted his options. A few things were very clear. In his own herald-who-keeps-up-with-an-impulsive-king way, he made a list in his mind with two columns. In the 'against me' column, he wrote down the fact that his shoes are not meant to cross the marsh, the rain showing no sign of letting up, he is already delayed, and for good measure that he is stuck with a dwarf. Sadly, there was nothing to add on the 'for me' section.
The dwarf stood there quietly gazing into the distance, probably the other side where his home is. Somehow he did not seem to wilt and wither in the rain as much as Elrond did. Like a stone sentient, the dwarf watched the water rise.
Elrond knew it was no use. Still for a while he impersonated a toad just to see if the dwarf will make a move, but the old dwarf didn't.
Elrond if not anything was one stubborn elf. He knew it was not one of his virtues and he knew that it had not gained him any friends. But that did not stop him from holding on to that quality like it was the fabled ring.
The situation though was getting dire by the minute and Elrond had no other choice but to think on the lines of giving in to the dwarf's idea with dignity.
"I know I am no friend of yours but please show some mercy and take me to the other side."
Elrond looked up startled. The dwarf looked like he just ate a piece of rotten fish, but he did look earnest. It only made Elrond suspicious but before he could ask, the dwarf repeated his request.
"Please…"
There is something about a proud being kneel that and just as when the dwarf made to kneel, Elrond decided that then would be a good time to be magnanimous.
Elrond wondered how strong a dwarf must be to wear a boot that heavy. It was uneasy going and the squishing of filthy mud and weeds made him nauseous but the worst was the dwarf sitting on his shoulders.
Elrond consoled himself that next time he is hit by orc slime, he won't feel as bad as this. He counted each step to take his mind off a certain burdens on his shoulder, but was not happy that the counts were few and far between. The water, if you could call it that, was rank and the sensation of things crawling inside his robe made him falter.
"Oh you poor delicate flower, do you find me too heavy."
Elrond was too far gone in his misery that at first the taunt didn't reach his water logged mind. But once it did
"Whom are you calling a flower? I guess you are all eager to taste the swamp."
"Ah! The mighty and brave elf is going to drown a hapless dwarf now. How brave!"
Elrond is rarely speechless, but there in the middle of the swamp, he was at a loss. His anger was reaching a tipping point any further, the swamp may start boiling.
"What's wrong? Orc got your tongue?"
"I am not rising to your bait, you dim witted ungrateful moron."
The dwarf laughed which was a major inconvenience as it shook Elrond as well.
"Oh, as a mark of gratitude, here is a song I wrote for you."
Before Elrond could protest, the dwarf began.
"I met an elf with braided hair
He wore a dress like maiden fair
I am on my way to my golden lair
On an elf I rein with his maiden hair"
"ENOUGH!" a fuming Elrond threw the dwarf down in fury, but the dwarf fortunately or unfortunately did not sink for they had reached the banks of the marsh. Elrond looked around in surprise.
"If I had known that all dwarves need to do is sing to get what they want from the elves…" The dwarf wheezed out in between bouts of laughter.
"Shut-up, shut-up you obnoxious, son of a wrag, you…"
"Yeah, yeah don't stress your brain too much your highness, I wish to show my noble stead some gratitude. I have a shed to house you and some delicate hay you can munch on."
"You are going to die, you…"
But the rest of Elrond's curses were drowned out by thunder. It was a strange sight indeed to see a maniacally laughing dwarf being chased by a fuming elf in a storm, but no one witnessed it except for the laughing Gods.
The storm was raging outside but Elrond hardly noticed. A warm fire and a glass of wine had mellowed his senses. He had to bend a little and make sure not to get up to his full height but at that moment he couldn't manage to stand at all, so he didn't consider it a problem.
"So, who exactly are you?"
Startled out of his thoughts, Elrond looked up or rather down at the dwarf who had taunted him for over half a day.
"Elrond Peredhil"
"I am Harlan"
Somehow though neither elaborated on who they were beyond their names, it was much easier for them to talk, but perhaps some credit should be given to the dwarven wine. They spoke of difficult times and hopes for a better world. They spoke of their customs and families and histories well late into the night. When they retired for their beds, they mocked each about their heights but only good naturedly.
Elrond woke up to the sounds of the hammer hitting on stone. After a bump on his head when he stood up too tall too fast, Elrond's head cleared enough to carefully make his way out of the house and blissfully stretch his bones.
"You elves are much closer to cats than I supposed."
Elrond laughed and shook his head and turned his face towards the sun.
"Or perhaps you are a species of flowers."
Elrond raised his eyebrows in mock annoyance but soon lost it as more dwarves stepped out of the cave of a house. Harlan introduced his family of wife, two sons their wives and 5 grandchildren. And for a moment Elrond was astounded how so many had stayed in a small cave. The dwarves laughed and merrily dragged him back inside and took him deeper into what was not just a cave but a tunnel that extended much deeper into the side of the mountain.
When they finally emerged out on the other side, the land was much greener and was actually cultivated and in the middle of it was a smooth stone structure with holes cut into it.
"What is that?"
"That is a playpen for our children. It's carved out with tunnels and holds. Playing in them makes sure that our children develop good muscles and learn balance and climbing. The stone itself is smooth enough not to hurt them and even if they fall it won't be from too much of a height."
"Impressive"
Harlan nudged Elrond and said, "Tell you what laddy, send word when you have children. I will make one for them."
Elrond snorted in mock contempt, "As if they need it."
"Where is Estel?" Elrond rushed down the stair in panic. Ever since Estel's kidnapping a few months ago and the subsequent illness the little boy suffered from hypothermia, Elrond has been reluctant to let his charge out of his sight.
Estel too clung to Elrond at all times and had refused to step out with anyone other than the twins or Elrond. The boy had grown pale and withdrawn and was wasting away. That is, until a special visitor arrived.
"He is fine ada, he is with Harlan." The twins chorused in the scary synchronized tone.
Elrond relaxed, "Who would have thought, all it took was a midget of his own size."
The twins laughed.
"Well they do share a common love for stones, dirt and mud." Erestor snorted.
Just then a disheveled Estel ran in with the said dirt and mud clinging to his hair and cloths.
"Estel! We bathed you just an hour ago." Elladan chided.
"Dan, don worry, I no wan bath agin. I have song for ada."
Elrond raised an eyebrow and smiled at the child.
"Really now, come here then, lets hear it."
Estel immediately ran into Elrond's outstretched arms and gave the elf lord a sloppy kiss. He then touched the elf's cheeks with muddy hands and finally twined his hands in the long tress of raven hair.
He then tunelessly and loudly began
"I me an elf with baided har
He wore a thress like maiyen far
I am… I am on my way to my wolden lar
On an elf I ye in with his mayen har"
If you had by any chance lived in middle earth sometime, and happened to hear the Lord of Imladris' voice, you would probably dismiss it as the doing of some dark magic and move on. But this time, there were enough witness rolling in laugher to hear the great elf lord proclaimed his love for the Valar so much sounding like a curse.
