It starts at Mephesto's lab, where Dr. Mephesto has just made a time travel machine.
"Behold, Kevin! This time travel machine will let us go back in time, so we can get the DNA of extinct species! Think of how many asses we can give them!" said Mephesto, with Kevin staring silently. "Oh, let's call it a night then. We don't want to miss the new episode of Terrance and Phillip."
As Mephesto and Kevin left the lab, someone entered through the window, and stole the machine from the room.
The next day...
Cartman... ran to the bus stop, hiding a thing behind his back.
"Guys! YOU GUYS! SERIOUSLAH! Guess what I have behind my back!" said Cartman.
"Your fat ass?" answered Kyle, causing the three boys to laugh.
"Shut up about my ass, Kahl!" said Cartman. "It's something better. Haven't any of you wanted to correct even the slightest of your mistakes?"
"Like you eating so much food, it went straight to your ass?" asked Stan, which caused the boys to laugh even harder.
"GOD DAMN IT, I KNEW I SHOULD'VE SHOWN THE TIME MACHINE TO BUTTERS INSTEAD!" said Cartman.
"Time Machine?" inquired Kyle.
"What time machine? I don't have a time machine!" said Cartman.
"Then what's that glowing thing you're hiding behind your back?"
"It's none of your business, Kahl!"
"Damn it, Cartman! Show us the time machine!" said Kyle.
"NO, THIS IS MY TIME MACHINE, AND I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT! YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR GODDAMN JEW MOUTH, OR I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BORN!" said Cartman.
"Are you even sure that it works?" asked Stan.
"Only one way to find out... set a course for... 9 years ago!"
Cartman pushed a few buttons until suddenly, the machine flashed.
"Damn it, Cartman! It didn't work!" said Kyle.
"Wait a minute guys, look!" exclaimed Stan.
A sign was across the street. "Welcome to South Park, 9 years ago"
"So it did work!" exclaimed Cartman. "I just had an idea, you guys! What if... I made someone else sleep with my mehm instead of that ginger Jack Tenorman, so I can be hella ripped and sweet in the future! That's my most genius plan yet!"
"Yeah, you do your own thing. Just get us back to our time, fatass." said Stan.
"Eh, I don't need you guys tampering with my plot anyway!" said Cartman, as he zapped the others back to the present. Sorry for not giving Kenny a line though.
So Cartman decided to explore the town 9 years ago. There he saw lots of interesting sights, like for example, the mayor running for mayor, and Barbrady as a trainee. It was different. So he went to Skeeter's Bar (which wasn't a bar back then, but rather a cafe) and asked the bartender where his mother was.
"Well, I think Liane Cartman's sittin' over there. I just had my way with her last night. Best time I ever had. If you want to have your way with her, then go ahead. Everyone's had their way with her, so it won't be nothing special. Also, here's a flier for the 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance, Most people might have her way with her this night, better get your chance."
"That's hella sweet, now to find somebody to get with my mehm." said Cartman to himself, getting out the bar.
And that's the end for this chapter, I've been watching Back to the Future and a comment on my post from reddit gave me the idea to write this fanfic.
