Disclaimer: Sonic and all other related animal type thingies are property of Sega. Didn't that sound professional? Besides if Sonic and co. belonged to me Amy would wear pants, Big would get the proper help needed, Rouge would go back to the whore house, Vector would have something on the end of his bling chain, like a bronze midget or something, Shadow would live at my house, Sonic's only enemy would be the word neutering and Team Chaotix would not have a horrendous piece of butt rock for their theme song and...uh...I'm done.
(A/N: Wow that's a lot of things. Also if you happen to come across a similar story of sorts, Mario's out of body experience, I did not rip that off. I wrote that...well you could come across it if I stop being lazy and post it. As you can probably tell I've caught the dreaded "too-much-Sonic-itus". Oh and no offence to Russia. Yes I have too much time on my hands, but some things must be done.)
The Shoe's On The Other Foot
Sonic-"Whoa Amy, come off it. GO AWAY!"I yelled.
"No, Sonic the minister is back that way." Amy yelled at me.
Argg! Man, I must of done something real bad in a past life or something. I mean, what did I do to deserve a little pink stalker? Light a church on fire? Welcome Britney Spears?
"Amy! GO HOME! You're causing me trauma!" As I yelled this I looked back to see Amy a foot away. Ahh! Oww! I should have seen that coming. Well, actually I didn't and that's why I ran smack into Tails.
"Whoa, sorry lil' buddy. You okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine Sonic. Have you seen Cream? I found Cheese in my yard." Tails said.
"Nope. Not lately." I answered, "I'll keep an eye out though."
"Sorry I ran into you. I see I've interrupted your little game of, er tag with Amy. Hope you're not mad." Tails apologized.
"Naw. It doesn't bother me at-"I was interrupted by Amy, who put my leg in a death-grip and cried,
"Now I've got you, my darling Sonic! Now you HAVE to marry me!!"
I then finished,
"-only a little."
"My bad Sonic. Got to go!" Tails ran off. Laughing. I could hear it.
Everyone is a comedian,( i.e Tails). Oh well, time for the ol' Sonic charm.
"Amy, I was too embarrassed to admit it before, but now I can't hold back the love that wants to burst out for you." I felt her death-grip loosen. Yes!!
"You have everything I want in a girl. Beauty, intelligents..." Amy stood up, shocked. And filled with murderous love. Mission accomplished.
"Really?" Amy sighed.
"Really. Your smile, your stupidity... Bye!"
And I hauled ass like I never hauled ass before. That was pretty smooth if I do say so myself. Sonic:1, Pink murderous stalker: 0. Pink murderous stalker? P.M.S! Oh I HAVE to remember that one! Ahhh! P.M.S is chasing me with her Piko-piko hammer! I'll just go to Knuckles Emerald Shrine. It's like a church. And you can't kill people in church.
Knuckles-
"Oh come on Knuckles, if not the whole thing then just a piece. That Master Emerald would make a nice bit of jewelry." Rouge said putting her hand on the Master Emeralds side.
"Rouge, go back to the whore house and leave the nice rock alone." Heh heh. Whore house. Aww man, she's been here all day. And it's not like I can go anywhere with her here. Ohhhh, there isn't a bathroom around here for like miles! Ahh my poor bladder!
"Look Rouge, forget the whore house. You've been here all day. Why don't you give it a rest and leave. I really have to-"
"SANCTUARY!!! SANCTUARY!!!" Sonic screamed at the top of his lungs. Amy was right behind him swinging he hammer around and yelling some sort of war cry.
Cream peaked around the corner.
"Mr. Knuckles, why did you teach him that word?"
Good question. Why did I teach him that word? Too much beer perhaps? Ohh, I'm not gonna make it!
"I don't know, but I think one of my kidneys popped."
Sonic ran behind me and pushed me out like a kind of shield. Oh yeah. Now to get to Sonic Amy would have to crack my head open. Fun, fun, fun. Thanks Sonic.
"Knuckles, buddy, P.M.S is after me. you gotta do something!" Sonic laughed nervously.
"What?! Amy has P.M.S? Leave the poor girl alone!" I said.
"No, Amy is P.M.S and – Eep!" Sonic zipped out of the way just as Amy's hammer came crashing down on the spot he was standing on a moment ago.
"Amy, calm down! You're going to break something!" I lunged at her. I managed to get a hold of one of her legs. I thought that, that would slow her down. It slowed her down, but it didn't stop her. She went clomping after Sonic dragging my face in the dirt. Woo! That's just how I want to spend my weekend. Getting my face deformed by having it dragged across the ground by a nutcase. Or P.M.S as Sonic says. All the while Amy is saying stupid things like,
"Since you won't kiss me how about you kiss the head of my hammer!" That didn't make any sense. Not many things she says do. Amy has always been a Special Ed. Case. The tight waste-line on her dress must be cutting off circulation to her brain.
That's the end of chapter one. Duh. It gets better, honest! With lots of car crashes, fights, explosions, suspenseful romance...well not really. I don't think so anyway. I haven't really got that far ahead yet. But in the mean time go review! Please?
