A/N: We're not sure if this will turn into a regular thing or not. But seeing as we don't actually wish to die from this story, and this is a rather lengthy list, we decided it'd be best to make it the first chapter. So… here it is!

Disclaimer 2.0

We, the autheresseseseseses, do not consciously intend to insult, confuse, provoke, terrify, depress or mentally/emotionally scar any of the following:

Prepsicles

Cheerleaders

Smart People

Dancers

Jocks

Wealthy Persons

Republicans

Coaches

Blondes

People who have surgically altered themselves

Druggies

Those more promiscuous/unfortunate persons affected by STDs

Jews

Druids

Homosexuals (We absolutely ADORE gay people!)

Nerds

Redheads

Emo people

Musically Inclined Persons

People with Multi-Colored Hair

Democrats

Those of the Southern Persuasion

Alcoholics (You should really get help though…)

Slydexcis (Hehe… we love dyslexics…)

People with a Lithp (We love you guys too!)

People with a Lazy Eye

African Americans (Black people are AWESOME!!!)

Drug Dealers (Come on now. Really?)

Anti-Belt People (PULL UP YOUR PANTS DANG IT!!!)

Rockstars

Transsexuals

Germophobes (ACHOO!!! Oh I'm sorry I think I got some on you…)

Whores of either gender

Those fond of wearing Tight Leather Pants

People with allergies

Anorexic Persons (Go eat a cheeseburger. Really. They're good.)

Fans of Achmed (it's on YouTube. He's a puppet.)

Total Power Trips

Wimps

People who screw sheep (Poor sheep… does anyone know the word for that?)

We also do not intend to make fun of any of the following:

Crazy Raves

Locker Rooms

Fancy Shmancy Prep Schools

After Parties

Musical Interludes/Finales

Halloween Costume Parties

Eloping in Vegas (WOO!!! VEGAS!!!)

The two of us would like to apologize in advance for any harm we cause to the aforementioned parties. Nothing we say should be taken seriously, as it's all said in jest. Furthermore, we're sorry for any inside jokes that manage to work their way into the story, as well as jokes that may be over your head. Well actually no, not jokes that are over your head. It's not our fault you don't understand stuff. Oh yeah, and we don't own Shakespeare. (DANG IT!!!)