A most unusual Professor

A detective Conan One-shot

Akuma-sama's notes: This is a one-shot. Stop gasping, yes, I have written a story that won't end up being over thirty chapters long. At least this one I'm sure I'll finish it -

Anyone who wants to expand it or take the basic idea for him/herself can go right ahead, just tell me when it's posted.


The maglev train sped half a foot above its tracks, zigzagging between tall buildings of steel, concrete and glass, carrying in its belly a flock of uniformed young men and women with one destination in mind, Teitan University. The year was 2321, spring vacations had just ended and Shirokazu Kyoko found herself looking forward to her classes.

Throughout High school, she hadn't been sure of what she wanted to do. She had found she had a talent, a knack to understand virtually anything scientific with a minimum of explanations, which was a great thing to have in this era. However, this talent had proven to be a curse in disguise; talented in any scientific area she went into - not exactly a genius, though - she hadn't decided on which area of it she wanted to concentrate on.

That is, until she had heard of the Biochemistry teacher of Teitan University, who was said to be something of a genius; world-renowned for her research, recommended by any center of the International Scientific Community (ISC). Though, oddly enough, there was never a picture of her, anywhere. An interesting footnote had pushed forward an explanation that had only fueled Kyoko's curiosity:

Anyone who has met Haibara-sensei in person will immediately understand why there are so few pictures of her.

At twenty-one - and she was often reminded of being one of the 'century-turners' - Kyoko was not exactly tall, not exactly small, had medium-length black hair, Asiatic black eyes and a perfectly normal smile that didn't bring soaring hearts and brightened moods, but didn't bring the biohazard squad either. Dressed in the white T-shirt and knee-length grey skirt that made the school's uniform, she didn't just melt in a crowd, she lost her molecules - nay, atoms - among it. She was the epitome of the normal Japanese young woman.

The only thing she had different from most of the others was something she put pride on; her kensai dialect, passed down from her parents. She did her best to keep it as intact as possible. With the complete disappearance of borders brought by advanced telecommunications, accents and dialects tended to vanish.

Shifting the weight of the book bag on her shoulder - being mostly empty for now, it was hardly heavy, but the action gave her an opportunity to move her cramped muscles - she sighed. Though maglev trains could hardly be considered slow by any stretch of the imagination - far from it, considering the fastest ones required ultra-softened seats and a G-force resistance test to ride, and this particular train required three minutes and nearly eighteen kilometers to slow down comfortably - she found that the trip from Kyoto to Tokyo was too long; an hour was a long time to spend standing up.

There were seats, but they were all taken, mostly by other students who gradually piled on the train as it stopped by the stations on its path.

Well, except for that one seat, three rows in front, that was taken by a little girl who had been on when she had boarded. A strange little girl who looked unnaturally serious and engrossed in her lecture; having two much younger little brothers and a little sister, Kyoko had been around young children most of her life, and if there was one thing she knew, it was that eight years old kids - or at least she looked it - did not remain sitting like that quietly for an hour.

She had shoulder-length light brown hair, intelligent glittering blue eyes and a pale tan that hopelessly betrayed her foreigner origin. Her small body was dressed in some kind of white shirt, but Kyoko couldn't see further than her elbow from where she was. Both of her small hands held a book as large as her upper body in place, but she couldn't see what it was about.

Kyoko smiled. Cute kid, though. Had her mother forgot her there?

A look around had indicated nobody looked even remotely like her. A few younger students looked at her oddly, as if wondering the same thing as she was, yet none of the seniors did. Had nobody been in the way, Kyoko would have gone and talked to her, but the last thing she wanted was to push her way through a crowd for no reason.

Though it had barely been perceptible, the train had long since began its slowing down process, just in time to float into the station standing in front of the impressive university's enormous entrance square at a mere fifty kilometers and hour, slowing down the rest of the way over the final two-hundred meters. A look at the girl proved she had closed her book and was now looking out at the university from the windows behind her. Yet her eyes betrayed nothing but utter calm, as if it was her intended destination...

...but that was impossible, right? A little girl had no place in a university, after all.

The doors opened and the resulting tide of students pushed her toward the closest one, causing her to lose track of the little girl. She must be so scared, suddenly... Keiko hoped the poor thing didn't end up disembarking the train by accident.

The university square was huge. Surrounded on three sides by Victorian-style wings, it was a large white-brick square interspaced with small gardens in which tall trees grew, throwing shadows down on benches. Every side had a short flight of stairs twenty meters across from which the buildings were accessible. In front of Kyoko, perpendicular with the maglev station, was the main building, rising high with its eight stories of height and towering spires from which the university's flag waved at them with the rhythm of the wind.

Yes, Teitan University was a pretty prestigious place; some books from before the great flood mentioned one university that might have come close in reputation; Tokyo University, which now lay with most of old Tokyo under five meters of water.

"Oh, look! It's professor Haibara!" She heard someone shout.

Frantically, she looked around. She found the source first, a fairly visible trio of senior students waving widely at them. Had Professor Haibara actually rode the train, too?!

Sure, how else would she get here?! Her own voice noted in her head. By flying?!

Well, it would explain why there's no picture of her, I mean, if she's an alien...

Shaking those thoughts out of her head, she tried to find someone who wasn't dressed in a student uniform... but she couldn't find anyone. Strange. And the three students were now walking away, apparently having been answered. Oh well, she'd be able to see her new teacher soon enough, anyway. Digging through her mostly empty book bag, she easily found the paper she had written her destination on and set out on a daring adventure to find the way to the auditorium.


The introduction message was a bit of a disappointment, to be blunt and honest. Droning on with a croaky voice, the principal, an old, graying man – not just his hair, Kyoko had expected his skin to turn to dust and fall off at any moment – who might have seen a better day a few centuries ago (but then, she doubted that) explained the rules, which were nothing unusual, the expectations thrust upon them (a few students understandably winced upon hearing the required grade for further attending) and introduced the key members of the personnel...

...but there was still no professor Haibara!

She must be a hermit. Kyoko supposed as she followed the rest of the students out of the auditorium. That must be it; long, dirty hair the goes to the floor, bony and spidery hands, big wart on her nose... Yup. I really should have picked Nuclear Physics.


I wish I had brought a length of string.

The locker room... couldn't possibly be called that. Locker labyrinth might have been more fitting. Or maybe just 'locker'. Kyoko expected to see the dried up skeleton – nay, mummy, for even bacteria wouldn't find their way to it – of someone who had lost their way and died there.

The rows and lockers were number and letter-coded. Problem was, sometimes a row was found in the middle of another one, or made a sharp turn to be found six rows later; as a result, there was no real order. When ZJ97085 was found before AK47723, there was a problem.

Make that a very long string.

When she finally found hers – DC48690, between FM21376 and BC20402 (in order) – she put her padlock through the slot before checking her timetable.

Just her luck; she had biochemistry first thing.

Time to meet the hermit, Kyoko thought with a sigh.


By the time she had found her class – Fortunately the classes had more order than the lockers – the first period was nearly over. It wasn't so bad, though; the teachers had left them to their own devices until the second period, so the students could socialize and explore the school a little.

They could have given us the whole day off... she thought irritably, sitting down in the middle row of the auditorium-like classroom.

The front struck her as a bit odd; there was a projector on the teacher's desk and a tall white drape covering the blackboard. Kyoko almost groaned when she saw it; the last teacher she had seen who used a projector like that had made her class copy notes down all year long.

Professor Haibara is supposed to be good. She reminded herself. She's not a lousy high school history teacher going through mid-life crisis.

...she could be. Kyoko amended, reminding herself she had only found that Professor Haibara was supposed to be some kind of super-genius. Maybe she'll expect us to understand everything on the first try?

The bell rang; its sound resonated throughout the auditorium-like classroom like a death row prison door. The students in the class – who looked as nervous as she was, she noticed with relief – sat down in expectation; it just wouldn't do to anger the teacher on the first day, especially when they didn't know the first thing about her.

Maybe she's a pro-wrestler? Kyoko's treacherous mind suggested. Or some kind of chainsaw-toting murdering maniac?

She barely resisted ramming her forehead against the desk. Though the teacher wasn't there yet, the students were, and she didn't want to pass as the class lunatic.

The bell rang again, announcing the start of classes. Theoretically. Only problem was, Professor Haibara still wasn't there yet. A few seconds passed in utter silence, which is why the sound of a fellow freshman's whisper of: "You think she's sick?" was heard by everyone in the class as plainly as if he had used a megaphone.

It seemed to be taken unanimously as a signal to begin gossiping on the teacher, a teacher they hadn't even met. Kyoko quickly realized she wasn't the only one with an active imagination; it seemed like most had heard rumors, and only that, of her: the girl two rows in front was saying that her brother's friend had overheard she was very strict and liked to whip people she didn't like. A boy three rows back mentioned overhearing that she was 'unique'. On the left row, an arrogant-looking girl suggested that the professor might have ruined her makeup in anticipation to meeting her.

Naturally, Kyoko believed none of it.

Well, maybe the bit about the whip.

But nothing else. Nope.

Someone was on the verge of suggesting she might actually be an four-headed alien (if only to cut between the heated debate on whether or not she was a hot babe or an ugly witch) when the door finally opened...

...by only a foot...

to let someone enter. Kyoko found her breath catching in her throat; it was the little girl from the train! But what was she doing here?!

Is she the teacher's daughter?

The girl's piercing blue eyes scouted along the class, as if gauging their worth. Then, she headed for the desk.

...unless...

With a practiced move, the little girl pulled out a very fluffy pillow from the bottom drawer of her desk, put it on the teacher's chair before heaving herself expertly up on it., the pillow allowing her to see over the wooden work area.

...no... no way...

Comfortably installed, the little girl gave them another once-over before speaking:

"Welcome class," She said the soprano voice of a little girl, scattering all hopes – or were they? – that she might be an alien in disguise, "I am Haibara Ai, your biochemistry teacher. Anyone who calls me 'Haibara-chan' or 'Ai-chan' will end up with a detention."

One could have heard a pen drop.

...actually, one did. The sound was like an explosion.

...at least she's not a chainsaw-toting maniacal murderer...? Kyoko thought idly.

And Professor Haibara's lips curved with a little girl's smile. She just loved the look on her students' faces when she introduced herself.



Closing notes
: Unusual, eh?

Everyone seems to think that the APTX 4869 will allow Conan and Ai to just grow up again. What if it didn't? And how would Conan react to learning that? How would Ran?

Why flood Tokyo? Well, it's a coastal town, and with global warming and all...

...plus, I like to destroy stuff, if only in fiction.

This story barged it's way out of my head in less than four hours, without any notes or planning. And I love it, it was a blast to write. Kyoko was fun to do, perhaps because she's a lot like me. Her thoughts came out easily and I found myself laughing when I was writing it. Understandably, I ended up being stared at like I was an alien.

I had originally planned on writing a short resume of the concept and post it up on my Yahoo group, but seeing as my muses are flighty and pretty much make me write what they want, this came out. Oh well.

Go ahead, expand it, play with the concept (Conan, Ai & Ran after the Black Organization is dead, but there's still no cure... worse, Shinichi isn't growing up), I grant full permission to anyone who wants to play with it. Warning, though, such a fic might get dark and moody at times!


Akuma-sama's researched notes on how the APTX 4896 works:

Gin mentioned in the very first volume that it's supposed to leave no trace in the blood. However, how would that explain the shrinking? So, I started digging around, if only half-heartedly, not really expecting a scientific answer. However, when looking for poisons on an online encyclopedia, I found this, somehow. Don't ask me how, I can't remember:

APTX. Apotoxin; a toxin working through Apoptosis: voluntary cell suicide.

This process is natural in all living beings; if it didn't exist, living beings would be unable to have more complicated shapes than spheres.

For example, a human fetus' hand develops as one big finger that later divides when the cells connecting them suicide; they don't simply explode, like when a cell is infected by a virus. It decomposes itself into elements easily absorbed by neighboring cells.

Imagine this, now: A poison that tells all the cells it touches to suicide. Not only that, because the killed elements contain the poison, the effect is spread to other cells nearly exponentially.

The end result: a puddle of extremely nutrient-rich water in which bacteria develop extremely quickly, dead skin and hair that end up eaten by the bacteria within a few hours. Leaves no trace in the blood, indeed!

My pet belief is that the goddess of Detective Conan fanfiction, Ysabet, reached the same conclusion as me; she called the APTX an Apotoxin every now and then. But if it's actually called that way in the Manga, please tell me!

However, something made the process stop half-way through in Conan and Ai's case. Wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that the APTX has 'told' the cells that both of them are 8 years old, not 16 and 18, and the cells killed themselves accordingly. And in that case, their age would remain static, at 8, especially if, as indicated by the failed cures, the effect is long-lasting, as if the poison is still being produced by the blood.

...and yes, before you ask, I am a geek.

Review please!

9