Summary: "Fool me once, shame on you." A look into the lives of prankster kings Fred & George Weasley. Happy April Fool's Day!
A/N: Fred and George are my favourite HP characters and, as today is their birthday & April Fool's Day, I am writing this in celebration of both! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Fool Me
Preface
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
~American Proverb
Fred and George Weasley were born on a sunny April morning, the fourth and fifth sons of Arthur and Molly Weasley. Besides the fact that their parents were magical, these boys seemed to be average. In fact, for most of the first few months of their life, their mother Molly continued to think that they were just like there brothers.
Looking back on it, she realised that there were so many signs pointing to the extraordinary qualities that these two possessed. First of all, they were the first twins the Weasley clan had seen in many generations. Even in the large families that tended to result of a union with a Weasley, twins were a rarity. Fred and George were considered special for breaking that, for lack of a better word, tradition. To Molly, who had grown up with twin brothers herself, it wasn't a big deal.
The second sign of what these two redheaded infants would grow up to become was the day they took their first breaths. Of all the days of the year to be born on, Molly Weasley's twins had been born on April 1st, the internationally recognized day of pranks, tricks and general tomfoolery.
And it was in this area that the twins would find their greatness.
Some people may say that you are not born great, but you have to seek it out. In the case of George and Fred, those people are wrong. Fred and George were born on April Fool's Day; they were born to be prankster kings.
Part I – Youthful Indiscretions
Of all of the other Weasley siblings, Percy had always been the perfect target for Fred and George's teasing and pranking. The way he acted, his responses to each act, simply egged the twins on. Had he been like Bill and laughed along with them, or Charlie who acted like it was no big deal, then Percy would not have been targeted. But he wasn't like Bill or Charlie. No, he was Percy and he liked to overreact at everything.
On this particular late September morning, the four-year-old twins had whipped up the greatest prank of their short lives. Lining the way from Percy's room to the kitchen were various tripping hazards, pools of slippery liquids and broken toys that would hurt when stepped on. It had taken the two young pranksters all morning, but they were sure that Percy's reaction would be worth it. It always was.
Putting the final touch on their prank, Fred stood up to face his brother, identical smiles gracing each face.
"This'll be fun!" Fred exclaimed before turning and walking into the kitchen where their mother had just finished baking a batch of gooey cookies. Fred and George went to stand behind their mother and positioned their faces into the irresistible pouts of two four-year-olds. When Molly Weasley turned around, jumping slightly at the boys' sudden appearance, she was met with the full force of a double puppy dog pout and hurriedly gifted the two boys with several warm cookies.
"Thanks mum!" they yelled over their shoulders as the raced from the kitchen and up the stairs to Percy's room.
The two stood outside their older brother's door for only a few minutes before the delicious aroma wafted it's way under Percy's door and into the six-year-olds nose. He was at the door so fast, that Fred and George were caught off guard for a moment.
"Where did you get those cookies?" Percy asked, eyeing the small mounds in the twins' hands.
"Mum," Fred replied, his mouth full. Percy didn't waste a beat and was immediately making his way out of his room and towards the kitchen. He was only three steps from the room when he met the first booby trap, a thin wire stretched across the hall. He fell with a satisfying bang and was thrust towards the other traps by a lake of a very slippery liquid.
Fred and George watched from the door of Percy's room as their hours of hard work played out before their eyes, looks of pure joy on their faces.
They didn't mind the punishment that their mother sent them. They didn't mind the excess chores they were forced to partake in. They didn't mind anything because the look on Percy's face when he had stood up at the end of the obstacle course, as Fred had taken to calling it, had been worth everything it cost-
Part II – Hogwarts
Between their birth and September 1, 1989 Fred and George had pulled off close to a hundred pranks, most on Percy and their younger brother Ron, but others had fallen victim to the twins' expertise. Most pranks weren't as harmful as the booby trap trick they had played on Percy when they were four. They usually consisted of some simple lie or act that either caused humiliation or trouble for their unlucky victim.
They were both greatly excited to be attending Hogwarts as it offered new victims. Those in and around Ottery St. Catchpole had begun to suspect the twins and, as a result, were much less trustworthy. In the later years of their pre-Hogwarts youth, the twins had completed way fewer pranks than the years before. Hogwarts presented fresh meat for the twins to try out the pranks that had been forming in their heads for months.
On the train, they originally sat in an empty compartment, but twenty minutes in a black skinned boy, his dark hair in messy dreadlocks, asked to sit with them and Fred and George were awarded with their first victim of the school year. They hadn't been planning on doing anything until they were at least sorted into their houses, but the opening presented itself and Fred and George Weasley were not the type to let such a good opportunity go to waste.
It was a very simple prank, simply switching out the other boy's Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans for the Boogie flavour the twins had been collecting. It only took the boy three beans to realise the switch and he quickly rounded on the twins.
"You swapped my beans? How? I never let them out of my sight! You guys are brilliant!" the boy exclaimed. It wasn't the reaction that Fred and George had been hoping for, but they took it.
And so Lee Jordan became friends with Fred and George Weasley and a partnership for the ages was created.
The three new friends waited until midway through the year before announcing themselves as the next generation of Hogwarts pranksters. The first few weeks the small group spent their days trying to get into the routine of school life and trying to get on the good side of their teachers. The twins knew from experience that it was much easier to trick someone if they trusted you. That was how they had always gotten Ron.
The next few months were spent in preparation. The three wanted to announce themselves with a bang and everything needed to be planned very carefully. They weren't worried about not getting caught, not at this particular moment. They wanted people to know it had been them and if that meant months of detention, well it was all for the greater good.
The prank began on a particularly gloomy Monday morning in late November. The twins and Lee had picked this day because Monday's were the worst day of the week and the weather was so dreary that they felt the school needed to be uplifted. And that it did. By the end of the day, everyone was laughing and gossiping about the after-affects of the biggest prank the school had seen in ages.
Fred, George and Lee were treated to rousing applauses and bursts of uncontrollable laughter from fellow students, and a months worth of detentions from Professor Snape who didn't appreciate having his underwear "aired out" on the Whomping Willow for the entire school to see.
That evening, when the newly crowned prankster kings were sitting in Filch's office awaiting their instructions for that night and the caretaker was off dealing with Peeves, Fred began snooping through the files in Filch's office. He found many files of pervious troublemakers, some thicker than his arm. In one of the largest files Fred found a blank piece of parchment that was just asking to be taken. He couldn't immediately see what it was that made the parchment confiscation worthy, but he was going to find out.
It took a few weeks to do it, but eventually, the twins were able to riddle out the parchment and found themselves in possession of a tool that would prove vital in their future pranking endeavours.
One night, after a particularly eventful evening of trickery, Fred, George, and Lee Jordan all fell into bed thanking the ingenious Marauders for everything they had done for them.
Part III – Umbrage
Fred and George had been planning something big ever since the first day Umbrage had told them to put away their wands in Defence Against the Dark Arts. The Ministry had no place interfering in Hogwarts, especially after they had been calling Dumbledore a crackpot. The moment she had taken away the Defence part of one of their favourite classes, the twins decided she would have to go.
When Harry Potter began his secret Defense workshop, Fred and George put their plans on a backburner. School was once again enjoyable and they felt like they had a purpose to be at Hogwarts. The minute that was taken away, their plans were moved to the front and they just began to look for an opportunity to use them.
Their school careers were done and they were going to go out with a bang, if they could help out Harry in the process then all the better.
Everything had been going according to plan. The first stage of their plan had gone without a hitch. As the students were making their way to the Great Hall at the end of the day, the portable swamp the twins had been inventing for the past few months expanded throughout the hallway, covering the students in the slimy smelly liquid that the swamp was comprised of. The sudden appearance of the swamp sent the students and teachers barrelling towards the Entrance Hall, trying to avoid the constantly swelling swamp. They were just arriving in the Entrance Hall, and then Draco Malfoy had to stick his pasty white nose where it didn't belong.
It had taken all of two minutes for Draco to round up the rest of the Inquisitorial Squad and Umbrage and the twins were suddenly cornered. Umbrage began berating them on the swamp and threatening to punish them in the worst way see knew how, but the twins already had smiles on their faces. Even if they hadn't been cornered, even if they hadn't gotten caught, Fred and George were not planning on staying at school. They made this point clear to Umbrage and Filch before summoning their brooms and taking to the skies.
"-come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley – Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes," Fred said in a loud voice, "Our new premises!" And then, with a final request to Peeves, they left Hogwarts School not planning on returning any time soon.
Part IV – Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes
Owning a joke shop had been a dream for Fred and George for years. At first, when the realisation of how expensive running your business first hit the twins, they thought their dream would never become a reality, and then Harry Potter befriended their younger brother.
Ok, so maybe that wasn't a direct cause to them owning their joke shop, but it was the moment that started everything. If Ron hadn't been a friend of Harry's then the selfless dark haired young man would have never given over his Triwizard winnings and Fred and George would have never had the money they needed to buy shop space.
It was this event that fulfilled their dreams and made the twins the happiest men on the planet. When they had first opened, shortly after the Ministry or Magic finally admitted that Lord Voldemort was back, they were sure they wouldn't get much business. People would be too scared to walk out their front doors. They wouldn't venture outside unless it was absolutely necessary, and to most people, jokes and gags were not necessary.
It was a happy surprise for them then, when they first opened their doors and they were immediately busy. In fact, they hadn't had a slow moment since opening at the beginning of the summer. The store was nearly always bursting at the seams and the twins never seemed to have a moment for themselves. They weren't complaining though. They liked keeping busy and cracking jokes about the situation at hand. It meant that they didn't have to focus on the fear that they had been feeling since the end of the Triwizard Tournament when Harry first announced the return of Lord Voldemort.
Joking had always been a way that helped Fred and George get through those tough times and they planned to continue on for as long as they possibly could. If joking helped them in tough times, it was perfectly apt to assume that it helped others as well.
Part V – The War
Even Fred and George had to admit that they weren't immortal. Eventually they too had to go into hiding and think first about their necks as opposed to their jokes and gags. It was a sad day when they closed their doors, promising that it wouldn't be forever and that they would be back before their customers knew it.
They spent many a night in the flat above their shop, creating new pranks without an audience to show them to and slowly going crazy, and then Lee Jordan approached them. Since the first battle of Hogwarts at the end of last year, the twins hadn't seen their best friend. He was a sight for sore eyes and the twins embraced him with all the enthusiasm they had. They were even more excited when Lee relayed the true reason for his impromptu visit.
He had had the brilliant idea to create an underground radio station supporting Harry Potter and giving those that were still in the fight the news they were lacking. Fred and George jumped at the idea and the three friends found themselves in the familiar habit of planning. It was nice to be doing something that would help others, instead of sitting holed up in their flat feeling completely useless. It was nice to be working with Lee again.
Potterwatch was a smashing success. Sure there were days when they could feel Death Eaters and Snatchers breathing down their necks, when they were forced to go off air for weeks on end, but all in all the accomplished what they set out for. The profit wasn't giving anyone any credible information and since Luna had been captured, neither was Xenophilius Lovegood. It was now up to Potterwatch to keep the wizarding world properly informed.
Potterwatch was an excellent distraction for George and Fred and the lack of joking they had been doing in recent months. This was a very dark time for the wizarding world and it was obvious in the fact that, for the first time in their nineteen years of life, Fred and George weren't pranking.
Part VI – The Aftermath
George couldn't believe it. He had felt it the moment it had happened. It was to be expected. Wouldn't you feel something when your other half was torn away from you? Wouldn't you feel something when the person you had spent your entire life and then some was suddenly snuffed out like a light? George had felt it the moment it had happened and it had nearly broken him. He had been duelling a masked Death Eater at the time, putting up an excellent fight, when an unbearable pain ripped through him, tearing him in half.
The pain had caused him to fall over and, to his luck, the moment just after the masked Death Eater had fired a curse straight at George. Thinking it was his curse that had sent George to the ground, the Death Eater moved on, leaving George to writhe in pain on the ground.
He was lucky that no one came to investigate and just left him. He wasn't in a fit state to battle and if a Death Eater came he was sure he'd be a goner. Though, as he thought about that, another thought that dieing wouldn't be such a bad thing at the present moment passed his mind. Whatever this pain was, it felt like he was already slowly dieing.
When he found out the source of the pain he wished he was dead. Then he wished Percy was dead instead of Fred. And then he once again wished he was dead because, in all honesty, Percy may have been a prat, but he didn't deserve to die and George felt awful about even letting that thought even cross his mind.
Over the next few months, George pulled away from his family and friends. He shut himself off from the world and threw himself into his work. He found that focusing his mind on the day to day needs of running a shop, then he had less time to think about Fred and what life would be like now that he was gone.
It wasn't until mid October of that year, that he was forced to face the world by the sudden arrival of his friends. Lee, Alicia, and Angelina arrived at the shop one day, declared the shop closed and dragged him to a Quidditch game. And for the first time in months, George found himself enjoying something again. He battled against the smile that his friends pulled to his face with their absurd commentary, and the pull that a Quidditch game always brought with it. When he left that afternoon, he was smiling.
He hadn't forgotten Fred and he was sure he never would, but at least, for an afternoon, he wasn't the first thing on his mind.
Part VII – With Arms Wide Open
George paced back and forth in the hallway outside the big swinging doors that lead to the operating had been trying to find a time in his life when he wasn't this nervous and kept coming up empty handed. There were times when he had been afraid, like during the Battle of Hogwarts, but nothing felt the same as right now. Right now his life was changing for ever. When he left the hospital in a few hours nothing in his life would ever be the same.
Today he was going to become a father. Today he was going to be presented with a small bundle of extra responsibility and even though he had been trying to assure himself over the past nine months that he was indeed read for this, he wasn't so sure any more. He had spent the last few hours thinking about all the changes that a baby meant and his confidence dropped.
He had elected to stay out of the delivery room because he wasn't sure he would survive. He knew Alicia too well to even believe there was a remote chance that she wouldn't try and strangle him when the time to push came. Instead, he was forced to wait outside with the never-ending worry that had settled itself into his stomach when Alicia had first told him.
"Mr. Weasley?" a timid voice called from behind the swinging doors, "You can come into the room now." George took a steadying breath and walked into the room to see his wife and newborn child.
She sat on the bed, her hair plastered to her face from the effort, her arms cradling a tiny bundle in blue blankets.
'A boy, huh," George thought to himself as he walked over to the woman he loved. They hadn't talked about boy names, Alicia had assured him it was going to be a girl and she was the Healer. Who was he to doubt her?
He finally made it over to his wife who tiredly offered him the bundle with a soft, "He's beautiful. To bad we don't have a name for him." George smiled as he took his first look at his son and the name immediately formed in his mind.
"Fred. His name is Fred," he stated simply. It had been far too many long since a Fred and a George had graced the planet, and as he handed his son over to the nurse to do some last minute checks, George, unlike his mother, knew perfectly well the trouble his son would get into when he was older.
The End.
A/N: Done and with time to spare :P There was a while there where I wasn't sure if I'd make it, but I did!
I do not have the brain for coming up with pranks so don't ask me what their first Hogwarts prank was. All I know is that it ended up with Snape's underwear hanging from the Whomping Willow and it was huge! And I'm not entirely pleased with how parts V – VI came out, but that's life.
Sorry for those who aren't of the George/ Alicia shippers but I couldn't resist it. The hints are very subtle and you can simply put whatever name you want :P
Tell me what you thought!
Happy Gred & Feorge day everyone!
