loose ends
harry potter, ron/hermione/harry,
pg-13, angst (o rly?), un-betaed. Rowling owns the characters
etc.
Ron has forgiven him but Harry has never been able to forgive himself.
"These things happen," Ron says nowadays when Harry tries to apologise, again and again, and Harry shakes his head but can't bring himself to say that he meant it. He really meant it.
He planned it. He planned it and he did it and he meant it. It wasn't an accident. You don't betray a friend by accident, a true friend, one you know and love. You don't do that. But Harry did.
They don't meet Hermione anymore, they don't talk, they don't mention her.
She lives in, well, Harry has forgotten. Ron hasn't, but Ron doesn't mention her, Ron acts like he doesn't even remember her.
Harry feels bad at times but he can't afford to lose them both. Even though in a way he already has.
He can't afford to lose them both, he thought back when none of it had happened, and he watched Hermione laugh at Ron's joke and then scold him. Ron frowned, and then grinned at her.
Harry saw that they made each other happy, and that hurt a bit, because there seemed to be no place for him in the equation. And he was the connecting link, right? At least, he used to be.
He ought to be.
"Harry, what are you doing," she asked as she gasped and he pulled her a little bit closer, show her he meant it.
"I love you," he said and he meant it. If he sounded like he was hurting it was because he was. But not like that. And he didn't mean it like that, either, but he could endure this, he thought as he kissed Hermione and she seemed reluctant at first but not later.
This was Harry, after all. What wouldn't she do for Harry.
That was the one thing Harry tried not to think as he reached for her skirt.
Ron was angry, of course. But not at Harry, Harry putting on such a brave face, repeating "I'm sorry, I love her" like a mantra and Ron continued to be angry, but he tried to make it work, and Hermione tried it as well, and they didn't talk to each other, but they both talked to Harry.
He was the connecting link, wasn't he?
When Ron stopped eating meals every time Hermione was at the same table (Harry's arm around her), Harry felt bad. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to go like this.
He broke up with Hermione and she wouldn't understand it, cried for hours against his shoulder and then left.
He confessed to Ron the morning after Hermione had left London. Left England, perhaps. Who knew. He didn't and he didn't plan on finding out, either.
He used words like "deliberate" and "mistake" and didn't see the contradictions in what he was saying, and neither did Ron. And Ron forgave him, and didn't even seem reluctant to do so. Ron was angry but not at Harry.
This was Harry, after all. What wouldn't he do for Harry.
Ron isn't angry anymore, but he isn't happy, either.
Harry loves him but hates him at the same time, because for all Ron hated Harry being Harry Potter, getting attention and special treatment for not doing anything, Ron himself had grown to treat Harry like bloody porcelain.
"Hit me, I'm a fucking bastard," Harry would say sometimes and Ron would reluctantly slap him and shake him and do it all because this is Harry. Harry's gone through so much shite in his life, so much trauma. Harry can be a little insane sometimes.
Ron really has no idea just how insane.
Harry reads a wedding ad on the Daily Prophet one morning.
Granger - Longbottom
He casts a spell moments before Ron enters the kitchen, a mug of tea in hand.
"What's in today's paper?" he asks sleepily.
"Dunno," Harry replies and folds the blank pages of the yellow-y paper. "We got another blank copy."
"Fuck," Ron curses and sits down, taking a sip of his tea.
He's angry, but not at Harry.
