Disclaimer: Buffy is not mine, nor will it ever be, I just use the charters for my own amusement and get no money…. I really need that money.
To have and to hold
From this day forward,
For better, for worse
For richer, for poorer
In sickness or in health
To love and to cherish
'Till death do us part.
- Wedding Vow
Breaking the Shell:
The night was cold, damp, and dark. As were the two people who were both, at this moment walking through the graveyard, both were drenched in water and both were arguing… again. It had become a regular occurrence between the two and they both welcomed it with open arms. For it meant that the male was better, and the female cared enough to help him. In any case, as I said, they were arguing, "bloody hell slayer! What was that about?"
"You're asking me? It was your antics that almost got us killed in the first place!"
"My antics? My antics? You were the one who decided to take him head on, after I had told you that water kills him!"
The male shook his head, laughing the tiny blond girl. She glared at him and they continued to walk, the darkness enveloping them. Finally he spoke up, "well okay maybe I did tell you a little late."
"Yeah, and then you decided that we would jump into lake, to escape him. Wonderful move Sherlock."
They continued to look, both looked stealing glances when ever they could at the other. Because to tell you the truth, both thought that the other person looked, well rather hot drenched in water, of course they would never say that out loud. So they continued to walk together, both taking in the other when they thought the other was not looking, it was Spike who caught Buffy glancing his way, "would you stop looking at me like that? It's rather disturbing."
Buffy turned her head in embarrassment for being caught, and her motions told him everything, she had been looking. She had been giving him the once over. And in some ways it was just what he needed to give him the courage to talk to her, about the one thing that he didn't have courage to talk about, them. Of course she some how managed to beat him to it, "Spike, we need to talk."
"About?"
"Us, last year, everything."
"I know."
A hefty silence followed as both wondered how to start talking about something so deep. How could they say what they wanted to talk about, they both knew that a simple sorry wouldn't do anything. No they were past sorrys, there was nothing to apologize for really, they had sparked a fire and they had both gotten burned. And Spike had already shone his apologizes by getting a soul, so what was there to say? Where was there to go but up, or down? They sighed at the same time, and Buffy looked up at him, "we did some silly things last year."
"Do you regret them?" he asked.
"Yes, no. There are some things that I regret but if I had to do it again…"
"I regret everything, if I had been stronger, if I had just walked away and continued to help you. Maybe thing would be different."
Buffy was about to answer when the demon that they had been fighting popped back up and they gave themselves glances Buffy walked up to it, wrung her hair and stepped back watching as the demon sizzled and hissed. It took awhile but it finally disintegrated leaving both vampire and slayer alone again, Buffy looked at Spike again, "maybe, but you helped me live again. I'm not going back to being that shell again."
He knew what she was talking about, she had been in a shell when she had returned. And as they had continued their violent coupling she had started to regain her emotions. Things that she hadn't had when she had come back, "So where are you now?"
"In a group of hormonal girls who won't leave me alone. In another shell."
"It's war luv, it's going to happen. Girls are going to die, you can't stop that, and you really think that you're not the only one in that shell?"
She looked up at him. She had never figured him to be in the same shell as her, but it made sense. Of course the shell he had wasn't for the girls, it was for her, her and Dawn. He had put himself in the same shell of not caring in this war. Or at least trying not to, of course she could tell when he slipped, but now that she thought about it, had there been many times in which he had made any sort of reference to loving her? A few times, but he had never said the words, ever. And now, as she looked it over she found that she missed that part of him. The part that loved her, made her feel wanted, "maybe… maybe we should do something about those shells. Let them down for someone?"
"What do you suggest?"
"I don't know, something to make sure that we don't let them up again. You know?"
He looked at her confused, he had no idea what she was talking about. Was she talking about him? And if so what did she want him to say? Then the thought struck him. There was only one way, to do this, and he could barely hold his surprise, would she really… there was only one way to test, "Buffy…"
"Yes?" Buffy asked rather nonchalantly
"Do, will you…" he sighed, "do you want me to ask you to marry me?"
A smile cracked over Buffy's face as if he had hit it right on the mark and she nodded fiercely. Inside Buffy was shocked, her vocal cords not working. What was she thinking? Getting married in the middle of what was to be the biggest apocalypse ever? Truth was, in some way she had wanted something, anything, to break that shell and connect her to the world again, and at the moment this felt like it, in fact she knew this was it. At that moment Spike picked her up and to the chapel they went.
When they reached the chapel Buffy hadn't spoken a word but she carried a ring and Spike had insisted on getting a long chain necklace. For what he wouldn't tell her, but she had a odd feeling that she knew what it was for. The priest of the church looked up and at the couple, both who were glowing. Oh god, he knew what this was, it was a sudden marriage, and he knew those never lasted. But at the look on the girls face he saw something that he had never seen in a woman who had arranged a quick marriage before. He saw a knowledge, and a knowing of what she was doing. As if she had been waiting for this, and it was this looked that caused him to do the ceremony.
They reached the alter and something told him that they wanted to rush it. So he skipped right to the vows, "Do you?"
"Yes, I Buffy take William to be my lawful wedded husband, I know there are things that I have done, to cause pain, things that I have done that I want to take back, but then we wouldn't be up here would we? It's odd to think why you came here, because of where we are now, but I promise thing will be different between us, for in sickness, and in health, till death do us part, and all the things that we are I will be with you, for I love you, yes that's right William, I love you. You of all people, and I won't stop. This is my vow."
Her impromptu speech knocked Spike off his feet and for a few seconds he didn't know what to say, but he found his voice, as the priest spoke, "and do you?"
"I William accept this with words of awe. Never in my life would I hear you tell me that you love me, and yet here you are, speaking those words to me, words that have so much meaning that I can barely figure out what to say. But my vows, will be what they always are, to love and to cherish you, till the day that I die. And who knows when that will be, so until that day, I will keep you warm. I will protect your sister, you, and God even every one else. And this is my solemn vow to one so effulgent as you."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a golden ring, and looked at her with eyes such a deep blue that she couldn't look into them. But when he tilted her head, and she did she found an awe that she had never seen in their depths, and she suddenly knew that going back on this, this marriage would break his heart. And she knew that she wouldn't, and couldn't, not now. He pulled her hand up and placed the ring into her open palm, the words he was conveying to her easy to understand, "they must never know," she whispered.
He nodded, and leaned in and kissed her. And then tears were evident on her face, the shell broken. And as they kissed the minister realized that this was not a marriage just for love, it was to save them both. That they were saving themselves, waking themselves up. And that it was the last safety line for them both. And they stayed that way, wrapped up in each other, both afraid of letting go of facing the coming battles. And when they did part it was with heavy hearts. He took out the chain in his pocket and she took out the one in hers and they both treaded their rings and placed them around their necks. As if they were just necklaces, "they must never know," he whispered back.
He wiped the tears off her face and held her hand as the two of them swept out of the church and back to the fight, the fears, and what was to come.
Chosen:
Caleb was strong, Buffy knew that, but they were stronger. Sure she had gotten herself kicked out of her home, but Spike had been right by her side the entire time, their marriage still a well kept secret. She reflected back to the letter that she had given to Xander to give to her sister if she died, and hopped to God that her sister wouldn't have to read it. Behind her Spike was struggling to get up while she, was in an odd position. Which at the moment was trapped beneath Caleb. And she didn't like that, she was about to head butt the Minster when a fist connected with his head before she could make her move. She turned her head, "thanks Sp…"
She stopped short when she saw who it was and her mouth opened agape. She looked over to where Spike was and found him gone. She heaved a sigh, he looked down at her, "is that any way to greet your savoir?"
Buffy glared at him, "I was fine, but argue latter, kill now."
At that she got to work chopping Caleb up, finally she landed a killing blow and went over to Angel. He moved into kiss her but she put her hand up stopping him from doing so, he looked her perplexed, "and is that any way to greet me?"
"Angel, look, I know you want to act the hero, but I already have one. And if I can figure out where he went…"
Angel knew who she was talking about, the who demon community had been abuzz with the news, another vampire with a soul. And he knew the only one stupid enough to do such a thing would be Spike, "but your not together, so why?"
"Angel, I'm going to tell you something that no one, not even my friends know. And the only reason I'm telling you this is, is the fact that you will leave and not tell any one k?"
Angel sighed and leaned back, "fine. Whatever, but first let me speak. I came here to give you this," he tossed a necklace with a large diamond pendant on it, "this is to be worn by a some one who has greater strength than a human and has a soul, I thought that maybe…"
Buffy looked up at him and shook her head, she already knew who would wear the amulet. And she still couldn't find him. She toyed with the necklace in her hands, "no, he'll wear it. And as I was saying, Spike and I, well… were married."
Angel could hardly believe his hears after he heard that one. In fact he didn't believe them. He looked at Buffy closely to see if she was joking and found that her face was dead serious. And he couldn't believe it, Buffy, his Buffy was married. And he could see it, oddly enough he could see her getting married in this sort of situation, but to Spike? That was what threw him for a loop. And he steadied himself, "SPIKE?"
"Yeah," by now they were outside, "listen. I'm like cookie dough, or I was. But then Spike and I had this talk, which lead to marriage and when we came out of the chapel I realized something, I was complete. Baked, whole."
"So do you think there will be any crumbs for me?"
Buffy shook her head, "no, those crumbs were swept away."
And Angel nodded and walked out of the graveyard, his leather coat trailing behind him. It was then that she turned around and found Spike sitting on top of a crypt in the graveyard, he hopped down, "so?"
"He's gone, and he knows."
Spike shook his head and followed the Slayer back home to command central. When the got back they found the house the mess they had left it. Injured potentials littered the floor and she pulled the amulet out of her pocket and with out any one seeing it slipped it into his hands, he looked down understanding. And place the silver trinket in his pocket. When they reached the basement he pulled it out again, "what's this supposed to do?"
She flopped down on the cot, "you wear it, it saves the world, you game?"
He held the jewel up as if enthralled by it. The colors that it let off casting shadows on the walls of the basement. He looked up at her, "you trust me with the fate of the world?"
"I married you right?"
He sat next to her on the cot and she snuggled into to him, "that I did luv. Okay I'll wear it, I'll save the bloody world."
The rest of the day went by in a blur. And then the day of the show down was facing them. Inside the school people talked, and it was as if the world knew that something was going to happen. Something big, and Buffy knew that this was it. As the entered the battle zone she gave Spike a nod, and all he did was hop into the small pit leading down to it. She and the remaining potentials followed him. And then there was chaos.
In the mist of the storm Buffy and Spike fought, back to back. There rings planted on their fingers, and no on commented, they only guessed. It was as if the two of them knew something, shared something. And then it happened, an unseen force sent Spike staggering back from her, and then all she saw was Uber-vamps. They surrounded her and she lost him. The scythe whirled around in her hands as she tried to clear a path to the vampire, who was now against the wall, clutching his chest in pain.
But as she did so the First stepped in front of her, "you won't reach him in time."
Buffy looked up at the creature that had given her so much grief and anger formed in her eyes, "you just watch me."
And the floor shook, the vampire glowed and the Uber-vamps ran. It was as if all hell had broken loose. And in the center of it, he was her calm in the storm. And when she reached him the room was empty of potentials, and it was only them, "I can feel it."
She tilted her head, "what can you feel?"
"My soul," he cringed, "it kinda hurts."
"Come on you can still escape, you've done enough."
He shook his head, "no, pet. I've gotta stay."
And she knew he was right, he had to say, and that when she came to her decision eyes brimming with tears, "I love you."
"I know, now go!"
Buffy shook her head and kissed him wrapping her hand around him, "I made a promise. And I intend to keep it, till death do us part."
And as the fire consumed her, consumed him, they felt their bodies, burn. And he finally looked down, at the girl in his arms, "till death do us part," and there was nothing.
Epilogue:
Dear Dawn,
If you are reading this, it means I'm dead. But don't fret, I'm happy. And If you are reading this and Spike is not there it means that I'm with him, and we are together. I'm sorry I never had time to tell you this before but during all this Spike and I got married. Tell every one else, and tell them that I love them, and not to bring me back. Spike and I want our time alone. Just to be, there are no more fears, regrets. I died with him, and that is all that matters now.
All my love,
Buffy
Meanwhile in a large office in Los Angeles a package arrived, it had no name or address. And a very busy Angel picked it up and eyed it with care.
THE END
A/N: Review and tell me what you think... I might do short sequal to this I'm just not sure about it. And good reviews might help.
