To Love a Warrior

To Love a Warrior

It is late yet again, and I know that soon the sun will be peaking over the horizon, signaling the beginning of a new day. I have not slept well in ages and honestly I am confused as to why.

I look over at you sleeping peacefully in the bedroll next to me. Your raven hair falls carelessly across your face and I cannot help but think how peaceful you look in sleep. Your warlike expression is faded, and I wonder (not for the first time) what you dream about.

I sigh softly and remember a time when sleeping next to you made me feel comforted, safe. Within a few months of traveling with you, I could scarcely sleep if you were not there lying beside me. What's changed, Xena? Why can I no longer fall contentedly asleep with you alongside me?

I have not changed. At least, I don't believe I have. Sure, I am not the same naïve girl you met in Potidaea. I would like to think that I have become stronger, more confident, more—like you. No, I have changed, but for the better. But why then can sleep not find me?

It must be you, Xena. You must have changed. I think for a moment about the time we have had together. You've become less cynical, less…hard. You have accepted me as one of your own, and for that I am grateful.

The first rays of the sun begin to show through the darkness of the ending night and suddenly the realization dawns on me. Before I can stop it, a single tear runs down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. Gods, give me the strength to suppress the feelings that have surfaced without my permission.

I hear you stir slightly beside me and I turn to look at you. Your eyes slowly drift open, revealing the brilliant blue pools I often find myself in danger of drowning in.

"Good morning," you say, a smile gracing your sleep-laden features.

"Good morning, Xena," I almost whisper, my voice still trembling a bit.

"What's happened, Gabrielle?" You ask, looking on with concern on your face.

"Nothing," I lie and force a smile. After all, to love a warrior like you is silly, and I have worked so hard to no longer be that silly girl you used to know.