So this is just a quick ones shot that I saw in my head the other day. Couldn't get it out so here it is for all of your viewing enjoyment.
This is slash (you don't have to squint to see it) but not explicit in any way. Erik/Charles pairing.
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men or any characters created therein, only the story in which I use them is mine.
Please drop a line and let me know what you think (there might be more to follow if you do :) )
Once again if you've read any of my other stories (which I have NOT forgotten) I have no beta. Be kind.
All the Things We Never Said
He was pretty certain that someday in the far future, he would look back at these days with nothing less than a healthy dose of amusement. There wasn't much that you could hide from a telepath, especially one of his caliber, and certainly not by just closing the door and whispering outside of it. A part of him felt weak to be grateful for their antics. He had known long before they did the potential extent of the damage done to his spine, and he knew the instant that the doctors knew that he would never walk again. The children were attempting to hide the truth from him for as long as possible, hoping to cut him some form of slack after all the perceived hurts that he had undergone. First with the bullet, then with his only remaining family member Raven leaving him lying there on the beach to go with his ex-friend. He'd be lying if he didn't admit that it had pulled him thin, which was partially why he allowed them to keep up this charade. It after all gave him a moment to think, to plan what would have to happen next. Of course he was not sending the children away as some of them feared, namely Alex, and a sickness that came to his stomach every time he thought of Moira.
She wouldn't be able to stay with them, not really. She had worked too hard to get to the place she was at in her career. She still held the agency up on an impossible pedestal along with Charles and he knew that only one of them could be up there. She would never be happy just being a teacher, a human one at that without true understanding of what it was going to be like for the children; and he wasn't going to ask her to sit on the sidelines. It wouldn't be right, so already he had made the decision to step down and return her to her previous beliefs of the system and how it worked. That would be what he would admit cut him deeper than the loss of this legs. The knowledge that he was about to embark on this next journey all alone. Without Erik, without Raven, and without Moira. There wasn't going to be anyone who could come up alongside of him and help him, instead now he had to live up to the children's expectations of him, all while never showing weakness or uncertainties.
Closing his eyes, Charles ran a hand down his face with a tired sigh. There was so much planning to be done, so much that had to be embarked on. He would have to remodel the manor; after all if he was going to continue with his previous plan then it needed to be able to house hundreds of children as well as class schedules. It would be complicated to track down and recruit them all now with this added disability. He would have to brainstorm something later on, for now he was feeling too exhausted to give it the full contemplation that it required. Letting his hand fall from his face, Charles slowly opened his eyes and prepared to call for the nurse to help him back to the bed to lie down. The wheelchair was getting quite uncomfortable and his lower back just above the injury was starting to ache. A figure off to the side of his peripheral vision caught him off guard and immediately his hand moved toward his temple to defend himself.
His hand stayed where it is, in a strange hovering place obviously torn by the choice to continue towards his temple and react- or to relax and return to its previous place on his lap. He made his decision moments later as he fully thought the situation through and let it fall.
"You've come to pay me a visit?" He asked softly and the other man came forward, more into the center of the room and closer to the recovering patient.
"I meant to come sooner." The silent 'I'm sorry' hung in the air, but Charles has already learned that Erik will never apologize for anything, not even in passing.
"That is quite alright, how have you been? How's Raven?" A chair pulls itself from the other side of the room to halt in front of Charles and Erik takes a seat with a slight flourish of that ridiculous cape, and Charles can't help the smile that comes to his face from the action. "A cape Erik? Really?"
"Mystique made it. She feels that I should have some sort of 'presence' when I appear."
"Well you certainly do that." Erik leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looks at Charles intently. After a few moments of it, Charles feels a slight annoyance come over him. "Honestly Erik, there is no need for that hideously gaudy thing here." He waves one hand in the direction of Erik's head and to that infuriating helmet. "And what pray tell possessed you to redecorate it? Was that Raven's idea again?"
"She felt like it had to match. You know women and their accessories." Charles chuckled slightly.
"And are you certain that you haven't upset her recently? Because a good argument could be made for the thought that she must be lashing out at you passive aggressively by making you don that ridiculous ensemble." Erik shrugged before there was an obvious pause and he made eye contact with Charles before his hands slowly went up to the helmet and paused.
"And how do I know that you're not going to just betray me? Freeze me in time and hand me over?" Charles let out a soft sigh.
"My friend, if I were going to do that, I would have done it in the sub long before you put that blasted thing on your head." Erik seemed to think about it before the helmet slowly came off, greeting Charles with a life force that until that moment had been masked from him. "That's much better. So, how long do you intend for your visit to last?"
"Not long." Charles nodded more to himself then to Erik.
"I see, well I'm grateful for the check up. Doctors believe that I'll be out of here by the end of the week. There isn't much more by way of healing that they'll be able to do for me here. Besides, I'm feeling restless, I'd much rather be back at the Manor. After all, Sean and Alex are in need of more training, and Hank is bound to be itching to get back to his scientific research. He believes he can find a way to undo the transformation into 'the Beast' so I'm looking forward to that."
"You still intend to train students?" There was the tone of 'in your condition' that Erik had the decency not to utter out loud and Charles nodded.
"Of course, this setback changes nothing. I was actually just in the process of thinking how to convert the Manor into more of a school like setting. Hank had the foresight to take the list with him of the coordinates from Cerebro, so we still have people that we can contact. Probably now more through phone calls then actual visits, but who knows. Over time visits might be possible again." There was a pause for a moment, before Erik shook his head.
"You're something else Charles."
"Not really, I just know that I have to keep moving forward. There's nothing I can do about my injuries now, so I'll just have to learn to adapt." There was a pause where it looked like something painful crossed over Erik's features before Erik moved forward, his mouth opening as if to say something, and then he seemed to catch himself and he schooled his features again, hiding any and all emotion behind that blank mask. Charles waved it off as best as he could, before continuing their conversation. "So, what is next for you? I mean now with Shaw dead, what's your next step?"
"Why ask questions when it wouldn't be hard for you to just find out the answers." The statement wasn't quite a question, and the sharp undertone almost caused Charles to flinch physically.
"Do you truly think so little of me my friend?" He asked softly as he leaned further back in his chair, molding against the backrest. There was a pause before Erik spoke, his face not reflecting the softer tone that his voice took.
"You know me, always have to check."
"Something tells me that you would know if I was poking around in there anyways." Charles offered up. "After all, I assume now with seeing the ridiculously silly cape that you were the one who freed Miss Frost. Surely she's instructing you how to set up mental shields from another telepath." Erik frowned lightly.
"That can be done?" A small smile reached Charles face.
"Anything is possible my friend, anything."
"Anything you say?" Erik started, looking Charles straight in the eyes. "What about the possibility of you coming with me this time? I haven't changed my mind Charles, your place is at my side, I still want you there." Charles leaned forward, placing a gentle touch on the other's leg and letting his hand rest there.
"You know my answer to that I'm afraid. I cannot go against everything I believe in, not even for you. I'm so sorry." There was a pause before a warm hand settled over Charles's, Erik's thumb rubbing over the back of his.
"Hopefully someday, we'll find our way to a compromise. Some form of middle ground."
"I truly hope we do. Until then, know that you are always welcome at the manor anytime. Who knows, maybe someday you'll be a teacher too." Charles ends that off with a smile as Erik laughs a little.
"Because we know how great of one I was before."
"Sean thinks you did just fine. I guess he needed that extra push that I wasn't willing to do." There's a moment of comfortable silence, before Erik tightens the grip on Charles's hand slightly.
"We should get you to bed. You should be resting."
"Quite true, I will admit I feel a little drained. Will you be visiting before I leave the hospital or can I expect you at the manor?"
"I don't make any promises." A pang hits Charles at a remembrance of a past time Erik uttered those words and immediately he can feel Erik's regret at his statement. Erik was right though, Charles went into this knowing full well that Erik had never offered him any promises. It almost wanted to make him laugh at himself as well as curl in on himself. What position had he placed them both in now, because of his inabilities when it came to this man? "Come on Charles," The chair moved and gently, almost reverently, Erik braced the other man as he laid him back down, cradling his head and placing it amongst the pillows. Before he went to leave, Charles reached out and caught his arm.
"I know how you feel about useless sentiments; however I wanted you to know, if it helps at all…that I don't blame you." There was a slight tensing of the shoulders before Erik finished tucking him in and moved towards the chair, picking up the helmet.
"You wouldn't." He stated, looking back at Charles lying there amongst the bedding. "I'll see you again as soon as I can manage."
"Be safe Erik, and watch over Raven for me please."
"Mystique is learning to be a force all her own. But I'll do my best." With that, the helmet slipped on, creating the void where Erik used to be. Charles closed his eyes, exhaustion creeping up around the corners of his body and before he fully succumbed to sleep he could have sworn that he heard a soft whisper of: It doesn't help.
"Maybe in time it will, my friend." Charles muttered in response to the now empty room.
Please review and let me know what you think and if you'd like to see some more one shots!
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