It's my hope that with Nickelodeon doing all this nostalgia stuff (Hey Arnold Movie, Rocko's TV special, Rugrats possibly returning, etc.) that the caner that is now Spongebob may at least be reduced at least. Then finally vanish forever.
Cartoon Network rules
It was a pleasant Sunday evening in Bikini Bottom, and in a certain Easter Island head home, Squidward was hard at work.
The big nosed squid was once again painting another portrait of himself. Though for some reason, he couldn't get his face just right
A nearby clock began to chime, it was 6:30pm
"Oh," Squidward said realizing what had happened as he put his paint down in defeat
His subconscious was getting him ready for the nightmares that would soon fall upon him
He walked toward his window
"And so one of the few relaxing Sundays I get to have comes to an end. Any moment now, they'll be back," Squidward said
This indeed was one of the few days Squidward had to enjoy himself. Before the harsh suffering and misfortune that was his life resumed as normal
The thing that made this Sunday so nice was that Spongebob and Patrick had left to go Jelly Fishing for the whole day. Something about a rare breed of Jellyfish coming to the fields around this time of the year only.
"No doubt the bus will be coming down the road. Those morons walking out, covered in stings, laughing and acting like the man children they are."
Squidward sighed
"Hopefully they'll just go home and no bug me. Though even if they do just walk into Spongebobs home, odds are they'll make a ton of noise. Watching Mermaid Man or blowing bubbles, or something even dumber. Then, no matter how much I fight, I'll get roped in and forced against my will to partake in whatever insanity they're involved in. Followed by another crushing day of work, and more Spongebob."
Squidward looked back at his gallery and many portraits, they seemed to frown along with the squid. Many of them told stories behind the usual smiles and artistic talent, stories of dreams being crushed, stories of trying to cope with life, of hoping to escape it.
That was partly the reason Squidward kept on with his artistic and culture filled lifestyle. The rest of it was nothing but suffering, at least in his paintings, he could be happy.
He looked back to the window, still no bus
Then noticed his clarinet sitting on his music desk nearby
Another object filled with stories of woe.
It wasn't always Spongebob that ruined his life. No, years before Squilliam Fancyson had destroyed his hopes and dreams. No matter how much Squidward tried, he just couldn't match up to the uni-brow squids talent. As if the universe just wanted to take a dump on him, not allowing him to live out the world of fame and fortune, even for just a moment. That's what drove him to keep trying to play his instrument better. He wanted to beat Squilliam. He wanted to show him that anyone could do it. Though the hard truth was that simply wouldn't be true. Squilliam would always see his high school rival as nothing but a cashier working at a dead end job.
"Oh ya, work," Squidward said now thinking about how much of a horror show that'll be. The day starting by being forced awake by Spongebobs alarm clock. Mr. Krabs wanting to cut their pay perhaps, or thinking up a new scam to trick his customers. Spongebob going on with it until it spirals out of control. Maybe the Krusty Krab will get destroyed again.
"It's a wonder I'm even able to keep this house," Squidward though thinking about his less than average salary
Squidward went on to think about whatever else Spongebob and Patrick would do to him after work. From getting turned into a baby to being transformed into a giant, from being sent to the hospital due to an explosion, to being thrown in jail.
"How am I not in the nuthouse even?" Squidward thought
Just then though, he heard the bus rolling over "Jelly Fishing! Jelly Fishing! Jelly Fishing!" his next door neighbors chanted walking off the bus.
"Gosh Spongebob, I can't believe you caught a rare albino jellyfish," Patrick said
"With blue spots to," Spongebob said
Squidward crouched down, hiding from his neighbors
"Hey Squidward! Want to see our photos from today's jelly fishing adventure?
Squidward kept quiet
"Please just leave. Please just leave. Please just..."
"You'll never be free," a voice said
"Huh?" Squidward said looking around
"Guess he's not home," Patrick said
The squid peaked out his window, Spongebob and Patrick were going into the sponges Pineapple home
"Phew," Squidward said knowing they were gone
He then went into the bathroom to splash water on his face, as he did though he could hear Spongebob and Patrick laughing about something. Which was soon followed by the sounds of things crashing and smashing.
"No Patrick!" Spongebob cried
"And so it begins," Squidward said
"Why let it?" the mysterious voice said again
"Who said that?" Squidward asked
"Over hear," the voice said
Squidward looked over at the mirror, his reflection was talking to him
"What the?" Squidward began
"You said it yourself, you're in an endless cycle of suffering," the reflection said "You go over there and tell them to shut up. It'll just lead to some misfortune being inflicted upon you,"
"Well I can't just..." Squidward began
"Can't what?" the reflection said "Can't see the solution is so simple?"
"Solution?" Squidward said
"Kill them," the reflection said
"What?!" Squidward said surprised
"Don't they deserve it?" The reflection said "All the pain and suffering you went though with them? You've tried escaping, moving away running. Yet it never lasts, you'll be stuck back here again. With them, and the status quo will continue,"
"Status quo?" Squidward said
"Yes Squidward, it's your destiny to be miserable. King Neptune has cursed you to suffer now and forever,"
"No ruler of the sea would do such a thing to one of his subjects," Squidward argued
"Really?" The reflection said "I doubt that,"
Suddenly Squidward heard a loud bang
"Huh?" he said going back to his window
Only to see Patrick had crashed into his home, the large oaf making a sizable hole in his home
"Sorry Squidward" Spongebob said "Patrick though he saw another rare Jellyfish outside your home,"
"Darn! It's just a plastic bag," Patrick said "Oh well," Patrick walked away not feeling any remorse or regret for what he just did
"Hey Squidward, you know you have a big hole in your house?" the pink stupid starfish said. Absent minded to the fact he was the one that literally just did the damage
"Do it! It can be done!" Squidwards voice said in his head
Suddenly the idea began to take form
"Say you two, I've heard of a super rare Jellyfish myself," Squidward said
"You have?!" Spongebob and Patrick said in awe "Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!"
Squidward began to tell the duo of gullible morons about a fictional jellyfish called the Air Jelly
"It's said it can live out of water," Squidward said "That's why it's never been caught by any jelly fisher,"
"Spongebob!" Patrick cried "We got to catch this jelly fish! We'll be legends in the jelly fishing community!"
"Even more than Kevin the Sea Cucumber?!" Spongebob's eyes grew wide as he imagined himself as a jelly fishing celebrity
Yet his dream was cut short as the truth came upon him
"But how are we suppose to catch it if it breaths air?" the sponge said
"Why not just go up to the island?" Squidward said pointing to the the huge mountain where the island above Bikini Bottom was
"Lets go hunting," Spongebob said "Net and water helmet already in hand
With that Squidward drove then to the island. After and hour or so they arrived
"Okay boys, lets get that jelly fish," Squidward said
"Wait, you don't jellyfish," Spongebob said
"He knows about the Air Jelly Spongebob, clearly he must enjoy the sport,"
"Yeah," Squidward said "I've been known to dabble,"
With that they all put their water helmets on and went above
"Be careful," Spongbob said "Their might be seagulls,"
The trio of sea creatures walked further onto the island
"Say Squidward, what dose the Air Jelly look like?" Spongebob asked
"We'll know it when we see it," the squid said as the kept going
Once he thought they were far enough on the island
"There!" Squidward said pointing at some bushes "I saw it!"
Spongebob and Patrick dashed into the bushes, yelling their stupid cry of swirling their tongues in their mouths as they did
Once they were gone, Squidward picked up a rock
Soon enough the duo of dummies returned
"Hey their wasn't a..."
"Smash!" Squidward bashed the rock into Patrick's helmet, it shattered to pieces as the water fell onto the sand
"Squidward! What the..!"
The squid smashed the sponge's helmet next
Instantly the two fish began to gasp for water
Squidward hit them both again, and again, and again
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Nothing's going to ruin this moment! You're dead! Dead! Dead, dead, dead, dead! Die!" he kept bashing them with the rocks
Until soon, they stopped moving
Squidward stood their for a moment, dumbfounded. Had he really did what he just done? Was this the end of Spongebob and Patrick
He looked around, half expecting that Air Jelly he made up to be real after all and save them.
Nothing
He looked up, expecting rain to revive them.
Nothing but stars.
Squidward was so used to things never going his way, that when hey finally did. It felt so...odd
He looked down at his neighbors beaten, bloody faces. They were dead, no doubt about it
"I did it," he said "I'm free...FREE!"
Squidward began to dance
Though all his noise awoke some sleeping seagulls
"AH!" he said running for his life, barley getting to the water with all four legs in tack
Once back in the ocean, he drove home.
Neptune knows with Spongebob gone the Krusty Krab would be a madhouse once again. It would go out of business
In the few days that followed he sold his home and bought a trailer, then drove out of Bikini Bottom.
"What's going on? Let me out!" Squilliam said from in the trunk of his boat
An evil grin was on Squidwards face as he drove on
Finally, his suffering would be over completely
The end
