by Mlle Lambert
Spoilers: Well, none really, but you could link it to "Heroes."
Season/Sequel: Future Season
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: Character death
Pairings: Daniel/Janet
Summary: All these years and he still can't let go. Daniel and Janet's
POV
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. I just borrow them for things…
Author's Notes: This is what happens when I read a really sad story.
Written: November 5, 2003
Archive: Ask me first.
Feedback: Constructive criticism is welcome. Please, no flames! I don't
respond kindly to them!
I can't believe I'm doing this. I mean, it's been how long? Still, I
come here every year to see you. Why? I guess it makes me feel better.
I don't want to say it, but I would have never imagined you dying. I
don't know. Maybe because you were the miracle worker and the healer. I
suppose it's right that you sacrificed your own life trying to save
another.
God, Janet, why? Why did you have to be so…? I can't even think of the
word. I never even got the chance to tell you I love you. I always will,
no matter what. I miss you each and every day. Why did you go?
I never told you what happened after I ascended. You wouldn't know,
but I would visit you almost every night while you slept. You know,
just—just to see you again. Also, you were part of the reason why I
chose to come back. Yes, I chose to be here. I know that now, and I also
know that it was to be with you.
If only there had been more time. If only I hadn't waited so long to
tell you my feelings. Now it's too late, and you'll never know. There's
emptiness in my heart that you once filled. I still want to know. Why
did you go? Why did you leave? You had friends who loved and cherished
you.
What am I saying? You're probably in a better place now. I place a red
rose on the ground and trace the letters of the name on the slab of
marble you lay beneath. Smiling sadly, I rise to leave.
As I turn from the headstone, I slight breeze ruffles my hair. I look
back and see the rose move slightly. The wind continues, and I can swear
I hear it whisper, "Daniel…"
My heart clenches. "I love you, Janet Fraiser."
With that I walk away, leaving you behind again. My mind hopes it is
the last time, but in my heart, I know that this time next year, I will
be seen kneeling by your grave, asking you what might have been.
I can't believe you do this. Do you really miss me that much? Even
more confusing, I can't believe I come to hear you talk to me when I
cannot answer.
Every year, you kneel beside me and tell me what has changed. I've
learned so many things from you. The SGC is no longer a secret, the
Goa'uld are still around, though not nearly as powerful, and Cassie has
a successful career as a doctor. You cry, saying she is so much like me.
This time you tell me about Sam and Jack's eldest daughter joining the
Stargate Program.
When I hear this, I wish that we'd had that chance. It would have been
wonderful if only we'd admitted our feelings. Unfortunately, neither of
us realized them until it was too late. I'm so sorry, for now you'll
never know how I feel. At least I know you love me.
You get up to go, placing a red rose on my grave and fingering the
letters, wishing, no doubt, that the last name read 'JACKSON.' I know
you're wondering what could have happened between us. Would it help if I
told you I did the same thing? Even if I did, you couldn't hear me.
As you begin to walk away, I try to stop you, making the wind ruffle
you hair. I whisper one word that you have wanted to hear from me for a
very long time. "Daniel…"
Fresh tears come to both of our faces as you answer, "I love you, too,
Janet Fraiser."
With that, you weave your way through the tombstones and leave me
alone. I know I've got to move on and continue my journey, but I can't
let you go. Will you come back? I have a feeling you will. One day, we
will be together, in that I have confidence. Until then, I'll just have
to keep asking myself what might have been.
