Holy Matrimony!
Ranma-Akane
"Oh, my little girl!" Soun shouted, leaning on Genma for support and waving a handkerchief around. The dojo was decorated in white and blue, frantic motion softly breezing the streamers. It was a special day. Ranma sat in his room, adjusting his dress uniform.
"Who would have ever thought this day would come?" Ryoga asked rhetorically. Ranma smiled, adjusting his tie. Kuno came in, leaning on the door.
"Sad mocking, Ranma Saotome, making us two your groomsmen. Who was the other?" he asked. Ranma stood.
"His name is Mousse. I asked him because he's the husband of one of the bridesmaids." He said. He turned to them, "I'm sincerely glad you both could come," he said with a crooked smile. Ryoga scoffed.
"Please!" he shouted, "You only wanted to rub our noses in it, you got her, we didn't, so sue us!" He shouted. Kuno nodded. Ranma smiled again.
"And that is a problem, why?" he asked. Before the others could answer his question, he ducked out the door. He strode to the room designated Akane's dressing room. Nabiki and Ukyo stood in front of the door.
"You can't go in there, Ranma-baby, it's against tradition." Nabiki said. Ukyo nodded.
"Yeah, Ran-chan, That's the rule." She said. Ranma shrugged and walked away. Akane was in the room, struggling with her dress.
"Oh, why couldn't Ranma have let Kasumi fit this to me!" She asked. Shampoo shrugged, trying to make the dress work.
"I not know, some plan he have with her." She said. Akane shrugged.
"This will have to do." She said. Shampoo smiled.
"It look beautiful," she said. Akane looked in the mirror. It was a little too loose, especially in the bust. She growled.
"He wants even to mess up our wedding!" she shouted. Shampoo smiled.
"Somehow, I jealous that you get Ranma." She said. Akane shot her a disbelieving look.
"I can't believe that." She said. Shampoo smiled.
"I not in control of that," She said, "I have married him if Mousse not beat Ranma in battle before I get him to consent." Akane looked surprised.
"You didn't want to marry him?" she asked.
"No, no that not it, I just want marry Ranma more. He love you, Mousse I love now." Akane smiled.
"He picked all his groomsmen to torture them, and I seem to have done the same." She said. Shampoo smiled, then made a face.
"At least you not pick Kodachi Kuno, that complete the circle." She said, Akane laughed.
"I couldn't have, anyway. She's out for blood now that she found out he's marrying me. We didn't even invite her." She finished. Just then, Ranma burst into the room, from a hidden doorway. He smiled garishly.
"That doesn't fit you very well, does it? Well, we'll fix that." He said.
The music started in the dojo. Everyone was there, including the little monkey ninja, that grandma whose always pouring water on Ranma, The principal, Akane's school friends, looking miffed at not being bridesmaids, Cologne and Happosai, sitting uncomfortably close to each other, and Genma and Soun, sitting next to each other, crying. Ranma's mother rolled her eyes at them. Ranma took his place at the front of the room. The bridesmaids filed in, looking as if they couldn't keep from laughing. Then, the bride. Oh, she looked radiant in her wedding dress, which now fit perfectly, her eyes sparkling, her flaming red hair beautiful. Red! The crowd shouted.
"Pigtailed girl!" Kuno said. Ryoga noticed that he was close to running for her. He grabbed him by the sleeve and whispered into his ear. Kuno's eyes widened, and, finally believing the truth, he fainted in shock.
"We didn't even have to hit him this time," Nabiki whispered to the groom. Akane looked up.
"Dang," She said, fingering her random mallet. Ranma marched up to the altar, and the priest, fumbling a little with the book. He turned to the 'groom' and said,
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man," he stopped, confused, though the situation had been explained to him, "Uh, and this woman, in holy matrimony." He scratched his head, flipping through the book, "Do you, uh, Ranma Saotome, take this, um, Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Ranma nodded.
"I do," he said. Akane giggled.
"And do you, Akane Tendo, take this, er, man, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Akane smiled.
"I do." She said.
"Is there any here today who opposes this union?" the priest said. As he said that dreaded sentence, a whirlwind of black rose petals flew from the open window.
"I do!" a voice sounded from high in the rafters of the school. Kodachi Kuno, the black rose flew and flipped down from the ceiling, waving her ribbon whip over the guests heads. She laughed loudly, causing everyone in the room to hold their ears. Suddenly, she stopped, looking at the pair at the altar. She blushed.
"Uh, I guess I have the wrong day," she said, "Sorry." She leapt back up out of the window, leaving the wedding to go on.
"I now pronounce you, husband and wife!" The priest said. Everyone was crying, most especially the bridesmaids and groomsmen.
After the goodbyes, they retired to the Neko Hanten, thanks to Shampoo and Cologne. Kuno and Ryoga sat alone at a table.
"Do you get the feeling that we've both been screwed over?" Ryoga said.
"Ah, fair Akane, lost to me forever," Kuno lamented. No really, he lamented, it's his prerequisite, "And fair pigtail girl...well, let's not dwell on that." Ryoga noticed Ukyo standing, her mouth outlined with white, watching the happy couple, now boy and girl, dancing. Akane was wearing her best dress, and Ranma was wearing his best suit. He walked over to Ukyo.
"Hey, Ukyo." He said, "Make any okonomiyaki?" Ukyo shrugged, beautiful in her dark blue bridesmaid's dress.
"No, Kasumi made all the food." She said. Ryoga leaned over next to her, watching the two dance.
"Look at the happy couple." He remarked mildly. It still hurt him to see Akane's eyes shine when she looked at Ranma, but it was a dull hurt, like a healing bruise.
"I'll never find the right guy.." Ukyo said softly. Ryoga drew her chin up with his finger, looking into her eyes.
"Don't say that, Spatula-ko." He said, kissing her softly on the mouth, "Would you like to dance?" he asked, sweeping her out on to the floor. She smiled, happily taking any opportunity to forget her pain. And forget she did.
Kuno glanced at his former groomsman in crime. He sighed.
"Now I am left alone with my pain. No man will stay with the dispositioned Kuno. Blue Lightning, where have you left yourself now?" he asked himself. He felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Hey Kuno-baby, want to dance?" Nabiki asked. Kuno looked up.
"Akane's sister?" he said. Nabiki looked at him mildly.
"Kodachi's brother?" she said.
"Point taken, fair Nabiki, we shall go." He held out his arm for her to grab, and she took it, walking to the floor with him.
Mousse and Shampoo stood near the wall, resting in each other's arms. Shampoo glanced wistfully out on to the dance floor, at Akane and Ranma. Mousse noticed.
"You want to be her, don't you?" he said. She looked up at him.
"Maybe little bit." She sighed. She kissed him on the cheek, "Much less than I want be me. Very fortunate, this is, for am me." Mousse smiled, tipping up his glasses. His beautiful eyes looked into hers. She tweaked his nose, "We need get you contacts," she said, kissing him. A slow song came on.
"Would you like to dance?" he asked her. She nodded. He led her out on the floor.
Kasumi sat near her father, patting him patiently on the back. He was still crying. Just then, Ranma got on the DJ's microphone.
"We're just about to throw the bouquet, so all you eligible ladies better come out!" he shouted. Kasumi smiled. She got up, just for the tradition, and went to the group of screaming women. Akane stood in front of them, and threw.
It flew over the crowd, first Ukyo caught it, but then the group tackled her, and she let go of it. It flew over the crowd of screaming women, and landed right in Kasumi's arms.
"Oh!" she said. She looked at the mass of women on the ground, fighting, and walked sedately back to her father. She glanced at the wall of the Restaurant, and saw the dark-clad Dr. Tofu. He giggled, a bit maniacally, and she waved. The girls were still fighting.
"Looks like Kasumi got it!" Ranma shouted. The girls all looked at her. She smiled and waved.
After no time, it was time to open gifts. Ranma opened the first.
"Huh, matching his and hers bras, thanks, Ryoga." Akane opened the next.
"A toaster!" Akane said.
"Yeah, thanks um, old woman who always throws water on me." Ranma said. He opened the next.
"Oh, hey a new dress!" the rest looked at him, "I mean, what a great gift for Akane." He added. Akane opened the next,
"Oh, look, a teapot, self heating!" She said. Ranma smiled.
"There's always a shortage of them, ne? Thanks dad!" The next was marked, from Kuno. Ranma scratched his head. Kuno stopped him.
"I didn't bring that," he said. Ranma threw it out the window. An explosion blew the curtains out a little.
"Thank you, Kodachi." Ranma whispered under his breath. The rest of the presents were uneventful. Then it was time for the last dance.
"I love you, Akane." Ranma said. Akane chuckled.
"And, despite the mess you made of my wedding, I love you too." She said. The buckets filled with confetti above them started to fall. Except they weren't filled with confetti.
"Ahhhh!" Ranma-chan yelled. The floor was soaking and now, instead of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, there was a cat dancing with a duck, a pig in Ukyo's arms, and a soaked and pissy looking Nabiki and Kuno. Genma was already a panda, having had punch spilled on him earlier. Ranma's eyes shot to the rope-puller.
"DAAHHH! I knew we shouldn't have invited that old grandma!!" he said. Akane giggled, and took out the new teapot, pouring it on him.
"Just my payback," she said, kissing him hotly on the lips. He didn't seem to mind at all.
Ranma-Akane
"Oh, my little girl!" Soun shouted, leaning on Genma for support and waving a handkerchief around. The dojo was decorated in white and blue, frantic motion softly breezing the streamers. It was a special day. Ranma sat in his room, adjusting his dress uniform.
"Who would have ever thought this day would come?" Ryoga asked rhetorically. Ranma smiled, adjusting his tie. Kuno came in, leaning on the door.
"Sad mocking, Ranma Saotome, making us two your groomsmen. Who was the other?" he asked. Ranma stood.
"His name is Mousse. I asked him because he's the husband of one of the bridesmaids." He said. He turned to them, "I'm sincerely glad you both could come," he said with a crooked smile. Ryoga scoffed.
"Please!" he shouted, "You only wanted to rub our noses in it, you got her, we didn't, so sue us!" He shouted. Kuno nodded. Ranma smiled again.
"And that is a problem, why?" he asked. Before the others could answer his question, he ducked out the door. He strode to the room designated Akane's dressing room. Nabiki and Ukyo stood in front of the door.
"You can't go in there, Ranma-baby, it's against tradition." Nabiki said. Ukyo nodded.
"Yeah, Ran-chan, That's the rule." She said. Ranma shrugged and walked away. Akane was in the room, struggling with her dress.
"Oh, why couldn't Ranma have let Kasumi fit this to me!" She asked. Shampoo shrugged, trying to make the dress work.
"I not know, some plan he have with her." She said. Akane shrugged.
"This will have to do." She said. Shampoo smiled.
"It look beautiful," she said. Akane looked in the mirror. It was a little too loose, especially in the bust. She growled.
"He wants even to mess up our wedding!" she shouted. Shampoo smiled.
"Somehow, I jealous that you get Ranma." She said. Akane shot her a disbelieving look.
"I can't believe that." She said. Shampoo smiled.
"I not in control of that," She said, "I have married him if Mousse not beat Ranma in battle before I get him to consent." Akane looked surprised.
"You didn't want to marry him?" she asked.
"No, no that not it, I just want marry Ranma more. He love you, Mousse I love now." Akane smiled.
"He picked all his groomsmen to torture them, and I seem to have done the same." She said. Shampoo smiled, then made a face.
"At least you not pick Kodachi Kuno, that complete the circle." She said, Akane laughed.
"I couldn't have, anyway. She's out for blood now that she found out he's marrying me. We didn't even invite her." She finished. Just then, Ranma burst into the room, from a hidden doorway. He smiled garishly.
"That doesn't fit you very well, does it? Well, we'll fix that." He said.
The music started in the dojo. Everyone was there, including the little monkey ninja, that grandma whose always pouring water on Ranma, The principal, Akane's school friends, looking miffed at not being bridesmaids, Cologne and Happosai, sitting uncomfortably close to each other, and Genma and Soun, sitting next to each other, crying. Ranma's mother rolled her eyes at them. Ranma took his place at the front of the room. The bridesmaids filed in, looking as if they couldn't keep from laughing. Then, the bride. Oh, she looked radiant in her wedding dress, which now fit perfectly, her eyes sparkling, her flaming red hair beautiful. Red! The crowd shouted.
"Pigtailed girl!" Kuno said. Ryoga noticed that he was close to running for her. He grabbed him by the sleeve and whispered into his ear. Kuno's eyes widened, and, finally believing the truth, he fainted in shock.
"We didn't even have to hit him this time," Nabiki whispered to the groom. Akane looked up.
"Dang," She said, fingering her random mallet. Ranma marched up to the altar, and the priest, fumbling a little with the book. He turned to the 'groom' and said,
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man," he stopped, confused, though the situation had been explained to him, "Uh, and this woman, in holy matrimony." He scratched his head, flipping through the book, "Do you, uh, Ranma Saotome, take this, um, Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Ranma nodded.
"I do," he said. Akane giggled.
"And do you, Akane Tendo, take this, er, man, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Akane smiled.
"I do." She said.
"Is there any here today who opposes this union?" the priest said. As he said that dreaded sentence, a whirlwind of black rose petals flew from the open window.
"I do!" a voice sounded from high in the rafters of the school. Kodachi Kuno, the black rose flew and flipped down from the ceiling, waving her ribbon whip over the guests heads. She laughed loudly, causing everyone in the room to hold their ears. Suddenly, she stopped, looking at the pair at the altar. She blushed.
"Uh, I guess I have the wrong day," she said, "Sorry." She leapt back up out of the window, leaving the wedding to go on.
"I now pronounce you, husband and wife!" The priest said. Everyone was crying, most especially the bridesmaids and groomsmen.
After the goodbyes, they retired to the Neko Hanten, thanks to Shampoo and Cologne. Kuno and Ryoga sat alone at a table.
"Do you get the feeling that we've both been screwed over?" Ryoga said.
"Ah, fair Akane, lost to me forever," Kuno lamented. No really, he lamented, it's his prerequisite, "And fair pigtail girl...well, let's not dwell on that." Ryoga noticed Ukyo standing, her mouth outlined with white, watching the happy couple, now boy and girl, dancing. Akane was wearing her best dress, and Ranma was wearing his best suit. He walked over to Ukyo.
"Hey, Ukyo." He said, "Make any okonomiyaki?" Ukyo shrugged, beautiful in her dark blue bridesmaid's dress.
"No, Kasumi made all the food." She said. Ryoga leaned over next to her, watching the two dance.
"Look at the happy couple." He remarked mildly. It still hurt him to see Akane's eyes shine when she looked at Ranma, but it was a dull hurt, like a healing bruise.
"I'll never find the right guy.." Ukyo said softly. Ryoga drew her chin up with his finger, looking into her eyes.
"Don't say that, Spatula-ko." He said, kissing her softly on the mouth, "Would you like to dance?" he asked, sweeping her out on to the floor. She smiled, happily taking any opportunity to forget her pain. And forget she did.
Kuno glanced at his former groomsman in crime. He sighed.
"Now I am left alone with my pain. No man will stay with the dispositioned Kuno. Blue Lightning, where have you left yourself now?" he asked himself. He felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Hey Kuno-baby, want to dance?" Nabiki asked. Kuno looked up.
"Akane's sister?" he said. Nabiki looked at him mildly.
"Kodachi's brother?" she said.
"Point taken, fair Nabiki, we shall go." He held out his arm for her to grab, and she took it, walking to the floor with him.
Mousse and Shampoo stood near the wall, resting in each other's arms. Shampoo glanced wistfully out on to the dance floor, at Akane and Ranma. Mousse noticed.
"You want to be her, don't you?" he said. She looked up at him.
"Maybe little bit." She sighed. She kissed him on the cheek, "Much less than I want be me. Very fortunate, this is, for am me." Mousse smiled, tipping up his glasses. His beautiful eyes looked into hers. She tweaked his nose, "We need get you contacts," she said, kissing him. A slow song came on.
"Would you like to dance?" he asked her. She nodded. He led her out on the floor.
Kasumi sat near her father, patting him patiently on the back. He was still crying. Just then, Ranma got on the DJ's microphone.
"We're just about to throw the bouquet, so all you eligible ladies better come out!" he shouted. Kasumi smiled. She got up, just for the tradition, and went to the group of screaming women. Akane stood in front of them, and threw.
It flew over the crowd, first Ukyo caught it, but then the group tackled her, and she let go of it. It flew over the crowd of screaming women, and landed right in Kasumi's arms.
"Oh!" she said. She looked at the mass of women on the ground, fighting, and walked sedately back to her father. She glanced at the wall of the Restaurant, and saw the dark-clad Dr. Tofu. He giggled, a bit maniacally, and she waved. The girls were still fighting.
"Looks like Kasumi got it!" Ranma shouted. The girls all looked at her. She smiled and waved.
After no time, it was time to open gifts. Ranma opened the first.
"Huh, matching his and hers bras, thanks, Ryoga." Akane opened the next.
"A toaster!" Akane said.
"Yeah, thanks um, old woman who always throws water on me." Ranma said. He opened the next.
"Oh, hey a new dress!" the rest looked at him, "I mean, what a great gift for Akane." He added. Akane opened the next,
"Oh, look, a teapot, self heating!" She said. Ranma smiled.
"There's always a shortage of them, ne? Thanks dad!" The next was marked, from Kuno. Ranma scratched his head. Kuno stopped him.
"I didn't bring that," he said. Ranma threw it out the window. An explosion blew the curtains out a little.
"Thank you, Kodachi." Ranma whispered under his breath. The rest of the presents were uneventful. Then it was time for the last dance.
"I love you, Akane." Ranma said. Akane chuckled.
"And, despite the mess you made of my wedding, I love you too." She said. The buckets filled with confetti above them started to fall. Except they weren't filled with confetti.
"Ahhhh!" Ranma-chan yelled. The floor was soaking and now, instead of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, there was a cat dancing with a duck, a pig in Ukyo's arms, and a soaked and pissy looking Nabiki and Kuno. Genma was already a panda, having had punch spilled on him earlier. Ranma's eyes shot to the rope-puller.
"DAAHHH! I knew we shouldn't have invited that old grandma!!" he said. Akane giggled, and took out the new teapot, pouring it on him.
"Just my payback," she said, kissing him hotly on the lips. He didn't seem to mind at all.
