Disclaimer: I didn't write a disclaimer for the first two, so I'll write one now.

                    I don't own the characters… just the names I gave them. J. K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter stories, not me. Whaa! I own nothing!

            Once upon a time somewhere in Britain, there was a weird little boy named Harry Potted-Plant. Why was he weird, you ask me? Look at his name! That's why!

Ahem

Harry attended Horseboil Academy of Aerobic Alchemy for the Near-Sighted and Odd with his best friends (Ronnie Weasel and Hermy Granger), and also his most evil enemy- Dracula Malfoy.

Now, you should know by now that Harry had fought the Black Sheep for years; unable to permanently vanquish him. So once again, in his second year, he had to fight the dirty, cheating, wooly archenemy of the Couch Cushion Administration. But that is later. For now, I shall tell the story in sequential order.

Harry began this year like the last one- a stupid little boy with an empty head in need of magical filling. He spent a lot of time trying to marry Ronnie, but Hermy always managed to foil those plans, so he got a hobby. Harry began collecting tape dispensers. He loved tape dispensers- he had over 100 in the first week. Unfortunately, that was because Harry was a kleptomaniac.

More horrible still than Harry's 'hobby' was that every person Harry stole a tape dispenser from ended up chained to Professor Snappy's bedpost and everyone blamed Harry. They all thought he was the heir of Skorrpian (the creator of Dracula's house). Hermy and Ronnie stuck by him and told everyone he was a true Chimera, but they still said he was torturing everyone he stole from. Harry was sad. Nobody believed him when he said that it couldn't have been himself chaining people up because he had been talking with a man from Switzerland at the time. That, and Juney (Ronnie's sister), wasn't speaking to him.

When yet a victim of Harry's kleptomania ended up chained in Professor Snappy's room, Harry was brought before a council of Transvestites and Archie Dumbleybumbledoor to be tried for 'Student Chaining'. (The persecutors wanted to get him for 'Snappy Baiting', but they couldn't wrangle it.) He was sentenced to go into the Hallway of the Undisclosed to fight Black Sheep for Juney's soul.

So Harry gloomily shuffled to the Hallway hoping for a supernatural phenomenon in his favor. He threw back the doors and caught sight of the Black Sheep. He stood over Juney, and looked toward Harry; smiling.

"I have your little friend now, Harry Planted-Pot!"

Harry gave him a very odd look, which Black Sheep put in his coat pocket for later.

            "It's Potted-Plant. Harry Potted-Plant."

            "Whatever. Fight me!"

So they began a Cricket match right there, and Harry won once again. But the Black Sheep never played fair- he summoned a dementor with a wave of his Light-Saber to suck out Juney's soul. And just when everyone thought everything was lost, who should appear but Dracula Malfoy with his heard of Purple Leprechauns and their Shaleili sticks of Death! They beat up the Black Sheep and saved Juney, and when Harry began cheering, the leprechauns tackled him and Dracula Malfoy ruled the world with his purple leprechaun army.