Izzie was baking muffins. Choc muffins, the ones she loved the most, with a table spoon of coconut extract. She had ordered Chinese takeaway for dinner. She was good at baking, she was a baker, not a cook. After putting the muffins in the oven, she looked out of her house window. She couldn't call it home, yet. She had been living there, in Washington for almost a year now, ridiculously close to her ex-husband. She loved him. She really did, but he pushed her away. And she knew she should've tried harder, that's the first thing she regrets in the morning, and the last in the evening. She's a pretty girl, she knows, and yet, she hasn't had sex with anyone after Alex. And she didn't miss sex, actually, and it wasn't for the asleep beast, it was Alex. She couldn't get over Alex like she got over Denny. Denny. Everything led to him once. And she hated this, him popping up in every thought she had. But now.. Oh, now it was all about Alex. She wanted to go back there, Seattle was her home, the house where she lived with Meredith, George and Alex was her home. Not this unknown house in this unknown city. She was stuck, though. There she could have built a whole new life. She could have, but she didn't. There, no one knew her as the cancer girl, or as the freak that cut her fiancé's L-Vad wire. And George wasn't dead, there. She felt him everywhere, at home, and it was painful. But there.. Her best friend simply wasn't there, but she felt like she could have talked to him, and seen him, and laughed with him once again. The oven timer rang, and Izzie pulled the muffins out: a delicious smell spread all over the house. She left them in the kitchen and turned the tv on.
As she saw the news, she froze. She couldn't breathe, and she felt shivers spreading down her spine. She sat on the floor and cried all the tears she had left.
And that's exactly when the phone rang.

Meredith couldn't breathe. She knew Derek was gonna be okay, she knew Gary Clark died, she knew there wasn't any chance of a crazy shooter breaking into the hospital once again. And yet, she couldn't breathe. She was holding Derek's hand in the ambulance, looking at him. He was under the good stuff, so he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon before getting to Seattle Pres. That was good. Bad stuff were gone. Completely over. She wiped the tears off of her face. Suddenly, her cell phone rang. The paramedic, who was checking on her husband's BP, looked at her. She knew cell phones were strictly forbidden in the ambulances, but, as she saw 'CRISTINA' on the display, she hurried and answered.
'Mer?'
'Cristina? I'm in the ambulance, what's going on?'
'I already arrived at Seattle Pres with Lexie, who was thrown out of the ambulance..'
'What?'
'Yeah, Meredith, She'll explain later. I tried to page Teddy, but..'
'Is Lexie okay? What about Teddy?' Cristina knew Meredith would have been worried about everyone.
'Mer. It's about Alex.'
She froze. Just like she froze before, when she saw that man shooting his husband. When she saw Cristina cutting into Derek's chest. When she tried to make Gary Clark shoot her instead of Cristina and Derek. When she knew she wasn't going to have a baby anymore. She just stopped breathing. And the pain, the one she felt every single freaking second of that damn day, was just a million times worst. Just like it was when she saw Derek falling on her beloved catwalk.
'How bad is it?' She knew she had nothing left to ask. She couldn't say 'How long will the recovery take', because that was for optimistic people. And she didn't feel optimistic that day. She felt dark and twisty. She knew she had the right to feel dark and twisty.
'It's.. Teddy's operating on him right now. Alex is tough.'
'I know that! JUST TELL ME HOW DAMN BAD IT IS!'
She was yelling, and crying, and she couldn't feel anything but pain.
Cristina hesitated. 'It's critical. He.. was shot in the chest. According to Sloan, he managed to drag himself on the elevator, and then waited until they found them. He almost bled out. Teddy transfused her all the blood she could, he's stable. She's operating on him right now, the bullet hit the aorta. It's.. They don't know if he's gonna make it.'
Meredith was hyperventilating. Alex had always been there for her, to kick her guy's ass and to play the self-secure guy when she needed someone to count on. He had always been there, he was just like Cristina, to her. And now he was in surgery, cut open and scared to death, and she, for once, exactly knew what to do. She hung up the phone and dialed that number she was used to call every day. It took her a long while to answer, but then she did.
'Izzie? It's me, Meredith.'

Izzie was sobbing, she just couldn't help it.
Meredith didn't tell her much, she reassured her about herself, Cristina and Lexie, and told her about Derek, Owen and.. Alex. Izzie knew he was tough, she knew. But she was scared to death. She took her purse and rushed in her car. She had to stop after a few minutes, realizing she was in no shape to drive. She took a cup of coffee at the closest bar, and then she got another call: Bailey.
'Izzie?' She was collecting herself before answering.
'Doctor Bailey, I just heard.. I'm coming there at S-Seattle Grace and- How are you? You've been- s-s-shot?'
'I.. I haven't.' she sighed, and Izzie realized she had been crying too. 'So you know.'
'Yes.'
'I.. um, I thought you should have known. Any news about my res- my ex residents?'
Izzie pulled the phone away from her mouth, leaned on the car and cried. She breathed deeply before talking again.
'Mer is fine, and so is Cristina.. but..' her voice flinched. Bailey was holding her breath.
'Alex?' Izzie started sobbing, loudly. Bailey's voice was shaky.
'Is he..'
'N-No. But.. um, it's bad. It's really.. bad.'
Bailey froze. She wasn't speaking.
'I- I'm driving to Seattle and, um, we'll meet at S-Seattle Pres. Goodbye, um, Doctor Bailey.'
Izzie got into the car and headed as fast as she could to Seattle, getting ready for what she could have seen once she got there.