Short fic thing - William on Grell
Grell won't leave me alone. I know we live together but there are times when I want to be alone, whether I'm working or not. He keeps trying to talk to me and asking for a hug and then cries when I turn him down. There's no point explaining to him that I don't want to cuddle him much these days. I still love him to bits but there's something going on in his head that I can't quite phantom.
He cut his hair the other day. He didn't tell me he was going to do it, just approached when I got home with his hair short how it was when we were younger. For a while I had just looked at him, taking in his appearance and wondering why he had done it. Grell had always been so proud of his long hair, happy with it. I had nothing to say to him. I kissed his forehead and walked past him to my room, closing the door behind me.
I was starting to feel scared that he was hurting himself, so when he was asleep I carefully looked at his wrists and thighs, only to find clear unmarked flesh, which was the best I could have hoped for. If he had dropped so low in his mind as to harm himself I wouldn't have been able to cope with it.
He woke up as I was putting the covers back round him. He looked up at me through his glasses. I never quite understood why he insisted on sleeping with them on until that night.
"I'm sorry for waking you" I said quietly. "I should be going"
"Will, stay here" he said, taking my hand in his. "I want to tell you something… I want to tell you why I keep my glasses on when I sleep"
I listened to every word he had to say, squeezing his hand as I finally realised how deep his mind was and the worries that harboured there. I couldn't reply or even comfort him when he finished, just let go of him and left him there.
Grell, why are you doing this to yourself? Have these feelings been here forever or recently? If forever, how have you lost your mask of carefree joy? I don't understand you anymore. I don't know how to be your lover, but I will care for you until its clear to me why we are together.
