A/N:

This is a re-uploaded version of the old story, heavy changes have been made so don't just skip ahead please. Sorry it's taken so long, but...you know...family issues still... anyway, hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: This story will involve Death (Of course, that's kinda the whole point of the show), Male X Male relations of a sexual nature, swearing, so only people mature enough to handle that sort of stuff should be here. If not, maybe you should tab out now :P


Light's POV

"Hey, has anybody around here seen Ryuzaki? I haven't seen him around all day" Light asked the room of investigators. The detective had disappeared quite some time ago, and although Light had ignored it at the time, he was beginning to get concerned the hunched man was up to something… he was always up to something…especially involving him. Matsuda's bright and happy face was the first to reply. As always.

"I saw him about an hour ago, it looked like he was going outside onto the roof. I was going to ask him what he was doing but...he looked like he wanted to be left alone" Matsuda scratched his head nervously. "Hope he's alright"

"I wouldn't worry too much about him if I were you. It's Ryuzaki we're talking about... I'll go find him anyway though, just in case. Thanks Matsuda" Light smiled politely, but didn't wait for a reply. He just slipped out the door and followed the dark hallway, leaving Matsuda to hang onto sentence he had been about to say. He'd go apologize later to the sensitive investigator, but for now, Light had more important matters at hand than tending to a few bruised feelings…

He could hear the heavy patter of rain against the tall glass windows of the multistory building as he passed, sending an ominous chill through the very air around Light. It had been raining nonstop all day, dawn 'til dusk without pause. A storm was defiantly about to break, but it almost seemed reluctant to do so. As if something were stopping it from reaching its full potential... What the hell was Ryuzaki doing out here in the rain? Did he actually want to get hit by lightning? Then again, Ryuzaki probably didn't care about getting wet or anything like that, and he was so damn skinny the lightening would barely be able to get a glance on him. Besides, Light didn't think L could even get sick. He had never seen Ryuzaki sick, or tired or... as a matter of fact, Light hasn't even seen Ryuzaki sleep. Even when they were chained together all hours of the day, Ryuzaki would just sit there awake for hours as Light fell asleep. Well, sit wasn't really the right word to describe the odd little quirk Ryuzaki had…

Rain lashed the building ferociously, as if the sky were throwing everything it had at the monstrous structure. Light paused and watched as the darkened clouds, so dark they were nearly black, swam overhead like a smothering blanket of water. If things kept up, the place would be flooded. And if the streets flooded, they'd probably be stuck in the building for days… He caught his reflection in the window, as vibrant and real as another person against the glass, and smiled. Kira, as always, was grinning back at him with those radiant crimson eyes. Light noticed one of his hairs was backwards and reached up to brush it back into place.

Now… most people would expect the reflection to copy them, it's just the laws of the way science, physics, everything worked. But as Light brushed the hair back into place, Kira remained staring at him with his arms folded before his chest. No one, not a single person in the entire world, knew about this Kira. Not as in the person who killed using the notebook, that name was one of the most worshipped and feared names in the entire world. Kira was the voice in Light's head, the hands that helped guide him into becoming a god. It may sound crazy, in fact, as a child Light had been forced to see psychiatric doctors and take pills to make Kira go away, not that he'd been called Kira back then. Light had never found a name for him he liked until they saw the internet posts about the Lord Kira, and Kira immediately decided this was his true name. It made sense, so Light didn't argue. Split personality, or Bi-Polar as it's more commonly known as, can be quite annoying at times. But Kira had proved his worth more than hundreds of time. Without his help, Light wasn't even sure he could have continued to kill after the first night. Besides, it was nice to have someone to talk to about private affairs.

Kira shook his head as Light fixed his hair and chuckled. You're going outside in the wind and rain anyway, why bother with all that?

"Because I felt like it. I don't like my hair all messy" Light told his reflection. Kira rolled his eyes. You are such a girl. Light sighed as Kira's image was replaced with his own, like it should be.

"I have proof that says otherwise" Light spoke to himself. Little. Light frowned as Kira cackled in his mind. Hahaha, you're so funny. Now, go away while I talk to Ryuzaki. You'll only make things difficult. Only if I think you're messing up. Yeah, well, I won't so just butt out for a few minutes. Whatever…

Light's footsteps echoed on the steps as he reached the door, the smooth marble clacking sharply against his shoes. Why Ryuzaki made a place this large for so few people Light would never understand... He pushed the door opened and was almost forced back by the lashing wind. It nearly blew the door right back into his face! Light forced his way past the door, leaving it to slam behind him in the roaring wind, and scanned the rooftop for the insane detective. He walked in the tiny little overhang away from the rain and searched for Ryuzaki, not yet prepared to face the oncoming storm and the lashing wind. The rain was so hard he could barely see the edge of the building, let alone anything else...the veil of water lashing the rooftop, obscuring everything outside a twenty meter radius entirely from view. So much so, that Light nearly completely overlooked the slender figure hunched against the wind clawing at his twig like body. Ryuzaki stood near the edge of the railing, completely drenched with rain, bent over as if the weight of the whole world rested on his shoulders. For the first time Light could remember, Ryuzaki actually looked sad. Actually sad, not just a bit down, or an act to make another person spill all their secrets, but a genuine sadness that made him seem so much smaller than he really was. Ryuzaki seemed to be so lost in thought, he hadn't even noticed Light's appearance. Light wondered if Ryuzaki had only come out here so he could be alone…and let his real emotions out for once…Not really knowing why, Light's heart gave an uncomfortable pang at the thought. Ryuzaki stared up at the sky, watching it spill water on his face, then slowly turned his gaze toward Light as he finally noticed the teen standing of to the side. Light stared back at him, that weird feeling still hovering over him.

"What are you doing standing out there by yourself?" Light asked. Ryuzaki blinked at him then cupped his hand around his ear, not having caught what the teen had said. Light repeated himself, yelling over the noise of the rain. Ryuzaki blinked again then cupped his ear again, a faint smile playing over his features, knowing it would drag Light out into the on slaughter of rain as well. Light groaned. Stupid idiot... Light stepped out into the downpour, hand over his head in a vain attempt to keep himself dry. No such luck. He was soaked in seconds. The icy cold drops pelted his skin, saturating him from head to foot in less than a heartbeat. Light walked through the wind and the rain until he stood just across from him. The brief smile had disappeared from Ryuzaki's face, no trace of it ever having existed on his pale features. His eyes were slightly glazed, as if deeply lost in his mind.

"What are you doing Ryuzaki?" Light asked once more.

"Oh, I'm...not doing anything in particular it's just...I hear the bells..." Ryuzaki only muttered the last bit, as if it had just been a thought he had accidentally spoken aloud. Meant for only his ears, not Light's. He turned away from Light and looked back up at the thundering grey sky.

"The bells?" Light asked. Ryuzaki blinked, not betraying a thing.

"Yes. The sound of the bell is unusually loud today" He seemed to be staring at something in the distance. Light followed his gaze and only say the same dark clouds as the rest of the sky. Nothing special. Nor did he hear any bells. Maybe he's finally going batty? He's not going batty, I don't think someone that smart is physically capable of going mad. You sure about that? He looks pretty damn insane to me…

"Hmm? I don't hear anything" Light said to the detective

"Really? You can't hear it? It's been ringing none stop all day, I find it very distracting. I wonder if it's a church. Maybe a wedding, or perhaps a..." He stopped, a strange look crossing his face. It was as if he couldn't say the word he'd been thinking. Light stared at him incredulously. Why didn't he want to say it?

"What are you getting at Ryuzaki? Come on, cut it out and let's get back inside" Light said warmly, remembering that they were supposed to be friends. Ryuzaki just looked genuinely miserable, an expression almost like regret plain on every feature. Light had never seen Ryuzaki look so...human... It made his chest feel weird just seeing it…

"I'm sorry...nothing I say makes any sense anyway...If I were you I wouldn't believe any of it..." Ryuzaki looked away. Such a sadness radiated off him it almost hurt Light to look at it. Light felt weird. He was almost feeling guilty about making Ryuzaki feel this way. It was almost heart breaking. No...he couldn't think like that about L, he can't go around feeling sorry for the guy! But...This wasn't L. This was Ryuzaki, the real Ryuzaki, not some cover or Light's nemesis. Just a guy. That does not give you permission to feel sorry for the guy! I don't….I just….I don't know… Uhg, you look like an idiot right now. Tell him he's right. Ok, Kira.

"No you're totally right. Honestly most of the things you say sound like complete nonsense. There would be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time. I probably know that better than anyone" Light admitted. Ryuzaki still didn't look at him.

"Yes...I would say that's a fair assessment... but...I could say the same thing about you" Ryuzaki said. Light was taken aback slightly.

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Light asked.

"Tell me Light, was there ever a moment since you were born that you actually told the truth?" Ryuzaki looked him dead in the eye, his own back to their cold calculating stare. This wasn't Ryuzaki anymore. Now this was L. He stared at Light hard, as if he could look right through his covers and straight into his soul, maybe even into Kira's. The world was silent, even the noise of the rain seemed like a distant memory. Nothing moved, nothing shifted, the only thing Light could do was stare at the sodden figure's blank, judging eyes. He had to say something, if he kept silent much longer L would take it the wrong way...well for L it would be the right way. That was the wrong way for Light. Kira gave him another little nudge, giving him the right words to use.

"Where is this coming from Ryuzaki? I do admit I stretch the truth here and there. However, finding one person in this world who has never told a lie it wouldn't be easy. Human beings just aren't made to be perfect like that. Everyone lies from time to time. Even so, I've always made a conscious effort to be careful not to tell a lie that could hurt others... That's my answer" Light explained as best he could without giving anything away. Ryuzaki just gave him that same cold hard look. After a second he turned away.

"I had a feeling you'd say something like that" Again that slight sadness echoed in his voice. Light blinked the rain out of his eyes as they stood there once more. And once again that strange sense of guilt crept back into him. It was easy to hate a man with no emotion who was trying to kill you, it was so much harder to hate a broken one.

"Let's go back inside. We're both drenched" Ryuzaki turned back in his direction and watched the rain drip from Light's hair.

"Yeah" Light almost laughed. Good. Fucking finally!

They walked together through the downpour and back into the warmth of the building. The sound of the wind and the rain disappeared almost as soon at the door shut behind them, as if there had never been anything more than a peaceful drone in the first place. Light felt as if he had just stepped out of a pool. He was completely saturated. It would take days for his shoes to dry! Ryuzaki had disappeared somewhere, probably to get a towel or something. Light plunked himself down on the stairs and sighed. If Ryuzaki wanted to go off and sulk in the rain again, Light was defiantly bringing an umbrella or something, he was freezing his ass off now because of him! Light kicked off his shoes, peeled his sodden socks off, and placed them on the step below him neatly.

"Catch" Before Light could even turn something white smacked him in the face.

"Ow what the hell!" Light yelped in protest, wrestling the soft white material from his face. He realized it was a dry towel dully.

"I tried to warn you didn't I?" Ryuzaki said from somewhere to his right. Light felt a sharp come back rise in his throat, but held his tongue.

"Thanks, I guess" And with that, Light began an attempt to dry his hair. Ryuzaki reappeared, a towel sitting on top of his head, and watched him for a few seconds. Something weird in Light's chest made him nervously look away from Ryuzaki. What the hell was that? That wasn't Ryuzaki's usual look, it looked almost like he was studying him...and not in the usual way he did.

"Well that certainly was an unpleasant outing" Ryuzaki said at last.

"It's your own fault. I mean, what did you expect?" Light let out a little huff of laughter as he said it. For being the world smartest detective did he really had to state the obvious like that?

"You're right. Sorry" He stood there staring, towel sitting over his head without any effort to try and dry it off. Light had to hold back a smile at how cute it was. Wait. Cute? Did you just call Ryuzaki cute!? Light busied himself with the towel, mimicking L's blank expression, telling himself it was just a stupid thought that never, EVER happened. It had only been his mind being weird again, that's it. He did NOT find L cute in any way shape or form! His mind had just wondered off a bit… Light buried his face in his towel and repeated this over and over again in his brain to make sure it stuck…This is why he didn't see Ryuzaki before he had grabbed his foot. Light yelped as his foot was delicately taken between Ryuzaki's elegant finger.

"What are you doing?!" Light stared wide eyed at the raven haired man.

"I thought I might help you out. You were busy wiping yourself off anyway" His oddly dark eyes blinked innocently back up at Light.

"Look it's fine, you don't have to do that" Light tried to keep the alarm out of his voice, but that only succeeded in making himself sound almost angry with Ryuzaki.

"I can give you a massage as well. It's the least I can do to atone for my sins. I'm actually pretty good at it" There was something odd about the way he said this, as if keeping something to himself. What's he up to? He can't actually mean any of this can he? Beside, some strange part of Light didn't mind what he was offering. And that part is defiantly not me! Do not let him touch our feet! Oh come on, what harm can it do? Besides, it could feel nice… Nice?! Ok, I've changed my mind, it's not him that's insane, it's you! That might explain why I'm talking to a voice in my head… Light looked at Ryuzaki, weighing up his options… in the end, with a fluttering heart, Light conceded. He wanted, however weird it was, too feel the older man's hands against his skin…

"Fine, do what you want" Light looked away, afraid he might give too much away by connecting their gaze.

"Alright" Ryuzaki wasn't looking at Light anyway, except for his feet which didn't really count in Light's mind. Ryuzaki's slick black hair was still soaking wet as he knelt beside Light, drying his feet for him. He wasn't too sure why but...he liked the feel of Ryuzaki's long, elegant fingers on him, even if it was through a towel. It was silly, he knew he should be repulsed by him or at least feel some sort of hatred for L as he stood mere centimeters away from him but...

He felt Ryuzaki's long cold fingers take his foot and press down hard on one of his pressure points. He couldn't help but grunt in pain.

"Hey!" He flinched.

"You'll get used to it" Ryuzaki said bluntly. He pressed again, and he was right. It didn't hurt as much as last time. This time he could actually feel the skill in his fingers, pressing deep into the muscles. It actually felt pretty damn good after a while. I wonder how they would feel- STOP THINKING THAT! Kira shouted at him. I'm sorry, I don't know why I thought that. Well...just don't!

Water droplets ran from the top of Ryuzaki's head, along a strand of his silky black hair, and dripped onto Light's foot. Light smiled slightly and picked up the towel he had dropped. He pressed it lightly to Ryuzaki's face, catching the water as it dropped. Ryuzaki froze at the contact.

"Here, you're still soaked" Light offered politely. But for some reason this made Ryuzaki look kinda sad again.

"I'm sorry..." He apologized softly, but for what, Light wasn't sure of. He took up his feet again and stared sadly at them almost. Again, another painful pang struck Light's chest. Why is it that everything he was trying to do for him now making Ryuzaki feel this way? It was at this moment Kira decided to butt into his thoughts. You should be glad he feels this way! Wasn't the whole plan to make him suffer for trying to stop our goals! The Kira part of him yelled at Light. Kira was right in a way, Light was happy that L was sad...but this wasn't L. At the moment this was Ryuzaki. The quiet, shy, sad figure who currently looked so miserably it was physically affecting Light too. Kira rolled his eyes at Light's thoughts. Light told him to shut up. It was none of his business what he thought of Ryuzaki.

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, Ryuzaki lightly brushing Light's feet with his skillful, spidery fingers, with Light just watching, occasionally dabbing away the water droplets on Ryuzaki's skin. It felt strange, almost like it was right to be here like this with him. There were no arguments, no angry glances, not a single plot to kill one another. Just… them, as they really were, together.

"It'll be lonely won't it...?" Ryuzaki murmured in barely more than a whisper. Light wasn't even sure he was talking to him, but rather a thought Ryuzaki had just said aloud again.

"Huh?" Light grunted. Ryuzaki looked up at him, his face framed by his perfect wet black hair.

"…You and I will be parting ways soon" He smiled almost wretchedly. Light felt his body go cold. What…? How... How did he...? Light's hands had frozen where it was hanging, towel limp in his fingers.

He was trying to find something to say when Ryuzaki's phone rang. Ryuzaki stood up out of his crouch and held the phone to his ear in that funny way using only his thumb and index finger.

"Yes?...I understand...tell him I'll call him back as soon as I can, don't tell the others just yet...there's something I've got to take care of first" And with that he snapped the phone shut and blinked at it. Light was still speechless. How does he keep outsmarting us like this! All that planning, all that secrecy, and he KNOWS!?

"What you said before... what makes you think that?" Light asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

"Oh, I don't think Light, I know. But that's not what I really want to talk about at this precise moment. I want to ask you something" Ryuzaki crouched back down before him.

"…Alright?" Light was beginning to feel scared, something only L was capable of doing. Not even a god of death could scare Light as much as L could.

"Well, this is a bit difficult to say, as I have never attempted something like this before... but... since I won't be around much longer, it's something I promised myself I would at least try..." Ryuzaki stopped. Light looked down at him confused. Ryuzaki lifted his face and stared into Light's eyes. He wasn't sure exactly why but Light's heart fluttered as he stared into the liquid pools of Ryuzaki's coal coloured eyes.

"Please forgive me for this Light…"

Before he understood what was happening, Ryuzaki leaned forward, closing the gap between them... and kissed him. Light froze with shock. What...what was happening? Something stirred inside Light's chest. He wanted to feel anger, revulsion, disgust, something bad towards L. In fact, Kira did feel all that, but Light had subconsciously shoved him away into the deepest corners of his mind. Kira gasped with indignation and put up a bit of a struggle, but in the end, Light had won. Because this wasn't L. This was Ryuzaki, a man balancing on the balls of his feet, lightly pressing his pale lips against Light's. And all Light felt was a warmth filling him head to toe, sparks tingling in his fingers, and something else he had only felt with Misa... but stronger. Not hatred, no loathing, not a single need to kill him…just… Light didn't even know how to describe what was happening in his chest. It felt warm, like a fire was lighting in his soul the likes of which Light had never felt in his life, and…he needed more.

Before he had even realized he was doing it, Light began to kiss him back. Very softly, his mouth relaxed and pressed back against the older man's, feeling his heart flutter as their pale surface brushed against his own. He felt Ryuzaki's surprise ripple through him, as if he hadn't been expecting Light's reaction at all. He sat there in stunned silence for a few long seconds, almost as if he were afraid to move, then Ryuzaki gripped the collar of Light's top and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Light felt heat flood into his cheek as Ryuzaki's hand stroked it slowly, his silken fingers gracing Light's face. It felt like sparks were going off under his skin wherever the detective touched, and it was amazing. Nothing like this had ever happened to Light before, and Light had been with quite a few women. Yet somehow, not a single one of them had made his body react like this… Then, suddenly, his lips were gone. Light almost had to suppress an annoyed moan as Ryuzaki looked over his shoulder. It was only then Light had heard it. Footsteps echoed up the hallway, drawing closer and closer. Light leaned back, trying to make it look like he hadn't just done what he did. Ryuzaki went back to drying Light off with the towel very calmly, as if nothing had ever happened. How can he be so god damn calm all the time! Light grabbed the other towel and began rubbing at his hair and face furiously, angrily trying to hide the pinkness flooding his cheeks. A figure appeared around the corner. God damn it Matsuda!

"Oh there you are Ryuzaki! We were starting to get worried, nice job finding him Light" He smiled at the pair innocently.

"By 'we' do you really mean you Matsuda?" Ryuzaki asked blankly. All that emotion, the human-ness from before was gone right away, replace by his usual monotone, blunt voice. Matsuda looked slightly embarrassed.

"Well as you can see we're both perfectly fine, right Light?" He looked at Light, eyes blank. What the hell was he supposed to say to that! He didn't even know himself what he felt let alone telling Matsuda about it.

"…Right, we're perfectly fine. Just a little wet that's all" Light kept his voice even and guarded. Luckily for Light, Matsuda didn't notice anything amiss. Not that he'd notice a truck ploughing towards him or anything…

"Oh, ok then, see you guys later then!" He turned back down the hallway with a wave. Light let out a little sigh of relief as he disappeared from sight. He turned his attention back to the man still playing with his feet.

"…What was that?" He stared down at Ryuzaki.

"I'm sorry for that Light, but... I needed to do that before I had to go, and I know I most certainly will very soon. I'd like to do something more but judging by your facial expression I don't think it's very likely. I'm sorry for the intrusion Light, I just...wanted to actually kiss someone before I died and I wanted to let you to know how I...I'm sorry...I'll go now" He began to stand, not looking at Light, and slowly walked away, as if nothing had ever happened. Despite himself...well... despite Kira yelling at him, Light didn't want that to happen.

"Ryuzaki wait!" Light called after him. He turned and tilted his head, tiny traces of confusion showing in his usually emotionless face. Light wasn't sure what to say next. How could he explain what he was feeling in words? A thought suddenly made its way into his head. Maybe...he didn't need words.

He walked over to where Ryuzaki stood and paused just in front of him, staring at his pale, slightly confused face.

"Yes Light?" He stared back blankly. Oh don't you even THINK about-Before his nerves could get the better of him Light leaned forward and placed his lips over Ryuzaki's. Ryuzaki stiffened in surprise. Light snaked his arm around Ryuzaki's waist, feeling his bony frame beneath his fingers. Something stirred inside Light chest, something he had never felt before. Heat flooded his chest as this new emotion burned though his heart, his mind, even his very soul. The strength of this foreign emotion was so overwhelming it had even subdued the outraged, yet slightly bewildered Kira.

Ryuzaki's frozen body finally unstuck itself from its ridged state. Light felt Ryuzaki's lips soften under his and part slightly, as if he were unsure of what exactly to do now. Acting on impulse, Light pushed their bodies against the cold tiled wall, pinning Ryuzaki against the wall. He pressed himself against Ryuzaki's slight, yet surprisingly strong frame, feeling each muscle through his damp clothing. Light moved his mouth slowly against the detective's, wanting to make this new feeling last forever... Light, what the fuck are you doing?! Get OFF of him!

Light begrudgingly pulled away so he could see Ryuzaki's face. Ryuzaki's eyes were dark and hooded, his cheeks slightly flushed and his mouth hung open slightly, breathing hard.

"Don't be" He rested his forehead on Ryuzaki's. Light ran his thumb over Ryuzaki's hip, feeling the bone under him. How was he so skinny? He ate like a pig! Ryuzaki almost felt like he would snap under his grip. Light and Ryuzaki just stood there, breathing heavily, staring into each other's eyes uncertainly. Uhg...you two are making me sick... Shut up

"Light?" He asked shakily.

"Yeah?"

"We're directly under a security camera" He nodded to a point over Light's shoulder. Light looked over and saw he was right. One of the many cameras stationed in this place was pointing at them, watching them with its big metal eye. Kira snickered at Light. Nice job idiot, serves you right!

"You think anyone saw us?" Light asked.

"It could be a possibility, Watari was meant to be stationed there for tonight anyway, but he wouldn't tell the others. I asked him not to tell anyone about me wanting to do this" Ryuzaki still spoke with his usual air about him, even if he was a little breathless. "...Hey Light?"

"Still here" Light smiled. Ryuzaki gave Light a nervous glance before talking.

"I… I know where there are no cameras" He said kinda hopefully. Light blinked at him surprised. Was he being serious? That same feelings of butterflies in his chest tingled through him as he thought about it. NO! DON'T YOU EVEN DARE! LIGHT YAGAMI I DO NOT WANT YOU TO DO THIS TO US! WE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TOUCH HIM ONE MORE DAMN TIME I'LL-

"...Show me"