Zim's POV

Dear Spaceboy:

I have no idea why I'm writing this. It's not like I'm gonna show this to you or anything. I just… need to get this somewhere other than my (completely normal-sized) head. So… where to start? I guess from the beginning.

Did you know that I was waiting for you to come? Well, I heard who I now know is your Tallest talking about sending you here. Looking back, it's kinda ridiculous to have thought that you'd immediately land in our town. But you did. Freaky, huh? When I first saw you… You wouldn't know this, but I was starting to doubt myself. I figured that Gaz hacked my signal and planted the message. After so long without seeing anything different, I started to assume you didn't exist. I began to listen to what everyone was saying about me. I'm so glad you came when you did!

Seriously, how did nobody get that you're an alien?! Green skin, no nose, outdated-as-hell look! (That you did a pretty good job of updating, by the way. The emo look does you justice. Not that you'd get what emo is, probably.) Even after all these years, the simpletons make me ashamed of being human. Sometimes… I don't even know why I continue to fight for Earth.

Honestly, what has it done for me? I'm still labeled as crazy, my dad still wants to ship me off to the Crazy Home for Boys, I still get beat up every day, and life just sucks. I can't tell if I'm ignored or not. I mean, if I wasn't, someone would surely see my scars.

In fact, I'm surprised you haven't picked it up by now. You're around me most. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you had surveillance cameras up in my room.

So maybe you notice, and you just don't care.

Not that I'd be surprised. Evil alien and all, am I right. You're probably hoping that I die off soon, so you'd face no opposition in completing your "mission". (Which we all know is fake, by the way. I just don't have the heart to tell you that.)

(Who am I kidding- there's deeper and more selfish reasons as to why I won't tell you about that. I'm afraid you'll give up. And if you give up, where does that leave me? You are honestly the only thing in my life, and are probably the only reason I haven't succumbed to suicide. I'm already cutting myself- it's just the next step, isn't it? But no… so long as you're still around, I have reason to be. So… thanks. I guess.)

So Hi Skool isn't treating me any better than any previous skools. It's worse, in fact. Now, everyone is so focused on getting into one another's pants. Rationally, I'd feel hormones too, but they take it to so many different degrees. Yet, I admit, watching everyone else falling in love used to make me jealous. That is, before I had this mind-boggling epiphany.

I'm in love with you.

Don't you dare get me wrong- not by choice. I didn't want for this to happen… it just did. It was actually pretty easy to figure out once I realized you were my obsession.

I figured out that there's a thin line between love and hate, curious and obsessed. I, of course, had to take things farther than it needed to go. Should've figured that would've happened- story of my life.

So here we are now- you knowing absolutely nothing, and I trying to go on as if nothing has changed. Which you're not making easy, by the way. Have you been working out? Because you've felt… muscular during our latest fights. Which, according to my fucked-up hormones, is extremely hot.

Huh. I guess that's another thing to add to the list of all my apparent mental problems: gay for an alien.

I wonder what it'd be like to kiss you…

Wow… So glad you're not gonna read this.

I'm going to bed before my mind tries to take this a step further.

Goodnight to absolutely nobody,

Dib Membrane.

Huh. My head involuntarily cocks to the side. The Dib… I had no idea.

I look to his sleeping form on the bed, completely unaware of my presence. As he has been the 271 times I've been here previously. I don't know why I come in here… I typically fight with myself whether it'd be wrong to kill him when he's so vulnerable or not. Other times I just watch him sleep, allowing his relaxed breathing calm me into a stasis of my own. Sometimes I get jealous of a human's capability to sleep; they have a full night to forget everything and rest, while I'm stuck wide awake with the blaring truth constantly running through my mind. Dib wasn't wrong… I've known my mission's a fake for a while now. I haven't given up because I'm convinced that once I've taken over this planet, they'll take me back. They'll have to once they see how awesome and almighty I truly am.

I look back down at the letter, allowing my mind to wander where it will. I smile softly; I remember the day we met so well. Who could forget how fast I ran? I was so terrified- and of a puny human, no less. But he still beats me, to this day. He has earned me complete respect… not that I'd tell him that.

At least, not out loud. This whole letter-to-yourself thing doesn't sound half bad, to be honest. But I wouldn't take it as far as Dib-thing did. I couldn't. His is full of emotions, and Irkens don't feel. And they most certainly don't think about kissing their enemies…

I'd imagine that his lips would be soft. From what I've felt through our numerous fights, the human skin is very soft. So easy to claw through, yet so pleasant to the tou- NO. I am NOT going down this road. Let this "train of thought", as the humans say, stop right now. I am an Irken. Skin isn't pleasant, it's rippable.

But if lips aren't kissable, then what are they?

Bitable. Bruisable. Feather-soft (so I've heard these pathetic monkeys say right after they get through trying to gag each other with their tongues).

I thought I was going to stop thinking about this.

… Curse you, Dib. Fine then, I guess I'll just have to figure it out before it starts to drive me nuts.

I walk over to the Dib's bed and shake him gently. He shoots up, alert.

I press our lips together before he can make a move. He's still for a few moments, shocked, before he kisses me back. They're… soft. Just like everyone's said. And his bottom lip is so plump, just begging to get bit. I do so, and he gasps, leaving his entrance open. I quickly insert my tongue before it closes, and his naturally moves into mine.

We instantly find a rhythm, our lips and tongues moving in sync, exploring every part of the other. Electricity shoots down me as my snake-like tongue tingles, the saliva sparking me pleasantly.

All too soon, I pull away. He sits there, his hand to his lips, with the most dumbfounded look on his face. I activate my PAK legs and give him a quick peck on his (kissable, bitable, bruisable, wonderful) lips.

"Now stop your musings, Dib-worm. They're making me curious."

And with that, I leave.


Dib's POV

I wake up the next morning unsure whether the events that unfolded were real, or a product of my obviously overactive imagination. I'm about to blame it on the latter, when I see a plate of waffles with a note underneath.

Dear Dib-worm,

This should be here in the morning. If not, then I'll need to reprogram Gir. Good help is so hard to come by nowadays.

Anyway, if you are reading this, then you should know that I felt your "letter" deserved a response. Don't ask why- you know I hate being questioned. It just feels appropriate.

(Oh, and I hope you enjoy the hideous waffles. Gir has been making them all night while I was gone, and I had to do something to get rid of them. He was all too happy to make that delivery. I just don't know if he'd remember to give you this. As you humans foolishly say, "fingers crossed". Tell me, what does that do? How does the simple crossing of fingers allow things to go your way?)

But now I'm just getting off of topic. Shall I start to address the topics I deem important?

Like how you'd like to give up.

As you should know, I wouldn't stop you with that. In fact, if you did, I'd feel inclined to ask you to join me. If against one another we cannot accomplish anything, imagine what we'd be capable of together. We'd be able to conquer Earth and the Armada. With my increased height and our skills, we could even land position as Tallest! And then they'd no longer be able to ignore the mighty power of ZIM! Oh, and you. I'd need you for that. The whole "there must be two Tallests ruling at a time" and stuff. The details are unimportant for now.

Sure, I'm evil. And killing you would be convenient and all, but I'm smart enough to see the potential of a partnerhood. Besides, you make life interesting. You weren't wrong when you said the other worm-babies never catch on. I could've conquered this planet years ago if it weren't for you. But our rivalry was too fun to just end it so soon. And, judging by your "letter", you feel the same.

But know this- if you die, it will be by my hands. Not yours. I have seen the cuts, yes, but I assumed it was another bully. I've been meaning to look into it, actually. I don't need any competition for your hate.

Or whatever you feel for me.

Looking into your anatomy and psychology and whatnot, raging hormones are common at this time. Which is good, because I was beginning to worry you humans would stay like this for life. I don't need a planet of pleasure-seeking creatures; the Armada already has a planet for that. Schlorknobs- what you gonna do?

Thankfully, Irkens don't feel. If they do, they're immediately labeled a defect. And defects get banished.

Yet, Irkens aren't amused to curiosity.

So, once again, keep your musings to yourself.

Til Monday, when that horrible skool starts up again for the week,

The Almighty ZIM!

Hm. He's given me a lot to think about. And Gir has given me a lot to eat. I don't know how Zim can reject these waffles; they're amazing. Even if they contain inedible substances, they're great.

So, taking over the planet with him? Becoming Tallest beside him? Absurd. Right?

But it does sound like a great proposition. Take Gaz and make some use of her, and annihilate the rest of the ungrateful bastards- not a bad idea.

And if I could make Zim even more curious in the process, so be it. I smirk and look towards Zim's house through my window.

Who said I had to wait for Monday to see him?


There. A nice little one-shot done for the month. I've left the ending open so that you fangirls can allow your minds to jump ahead. It's no fun if you can't think up an ending yourself.^^

Oh, and I don't own Invader Zim. I figure that's obvious, but people require the disclaimer for some reason. Because I'm obvioiusly either (a) Jhonen in disguise writing about things to make myself sick or (b) I'm making a huge profit off of this. You decide the truth.

Anyway, Laters.

~Prettykitty473