The characters are going to be slightly OOC. It's a parody of Monty Python and the Holy Grail after all. XD The first time I watched the movie, I knew had to make this. Nuff said. Enjoy!
Several moments go by before anything shows up on the misty road. A few more seconds go by and we finally hear hoof beats.
CLIPPITY CLOP
CLIPPITY CLOP
Now, out of the swirling mist we see King Ladekahn followed by his trusty head knight who, are NOT riding on horses. The head knight is actually ramming two halves of a coconut together. Suddenly, King Ladekahn stops.
"WHOA there!"
The head knight makes a distant sound of a horse stopping, as the king peers through the heavy mist. He had nearly walked into a castle barely seen probably because of the damn mist slinking around the place…Anyway. A man atop the tower is on duty when he sees this, tall, towering figure coming up the road nearby, when they stop. He quickly peers down.
"HALT!" he cries. "WHO goes there?"
"It is I," The blonde king yelled in response, "Ladekahn from the castle of Elnath. King of Diadem, defeater of the…I am known as the White Flame of Diadem!
There is a slight pause.
"Who's the shorter one?"
"HEY!" the head knight yelled in protest. "I'll have you know, I'm NOT short. I'm normal. It just happens that anyone who stands next to his majesty will seem like a complete MIDGET."
The king gave small cough.
"Is it my fault…? Anyway, he is my servant Patsy. We have ridden from Diadem to the five whales on Prancers in search for knights who will join me to stand in the water-like hall. It seems more and more people are aqua phobic, so you can see my plight there…Yes. I would like to speak with your lord. Or master of the house if he is here?"
The guard shook his head disbelievingly.
"Ridden on Prancers?"
"Yes! ...err…no." Ladekahn glanced back at his head knight who was in plain view foolishly carrying two halves of a coconut.
The guard looked impressed. "You were indeed honest with me, I'll give you that. But…if we were to go on like this, we'd have to skip the entire scene that happens here so I'm afraid we have to…"
:SCENE RETAKE:
The guard shook his head. Hard.
"Ridden on Prancers?"
"Yes!" …no." Ladekahn sighed and turned his head to the side.
"You were supposed to say, Yes!"
"Forgive me, I can't stand lying…"
:SCENE RETAKE #2:
The guard shook his head so unbelievably hard we were afraid it would fly clean off his head.
"Ridden on Prancers?"
"N-o." The king enunciated. "No. Can't YOU see? Can't ANYONE see? ALL of you have eyes, have you not? Ladekahn took a quiet breath.
"IT'S A BLUNDERING COCONUT! I HAVE NOT RIDDEN THE LAND! AND NEITHER HAS MY SERVANT PATSY! WHO'S NAME ISN'T EVEN PATSY FOR THAT MATTER…"
The knight-whos-not-Patsy looked worried.
"Your Majesty…"
"HE'S BANGING TO HALVES OF A WHOLE TOGETHER! Does it LOOK like I've been RIDING?"
"Dear me…"
"AND…IT'S not MY FAULT I'M SO TALL…FATHER GAVE ME THE GENES…" the king breathed and sniffed.
"Sire…"
Ladekahn finally turned to his servant. "What is it Patsy?"
The head knight pointed at the video camera, which was rolling quickly. "We are still recording…"he said sheepishly.
"The guard who was watching all the while finally piped up.
"Don't worry about it." He said quickly. "We'll cover it. We'll need a little adjustments though. For your sake." He added.
:SCENE RETAKE #3:
Memo: King Ladekahn has declared himself unable to do this scene, so it will be passed onto the next person willing. He will be back, we assure you.
The guard shook his head disbelievingly.
"Ridden on Prancers?"
Folon nodded mechanically.
"Yes!"
The guard took this time to point out the obvious.
"You're using coconuts!"
Folon cocked his head to the side.
"Huh?"
The watchmen folded his arms triumphantly.
"You've got two empty halves of a coconut and you're banging
them together!"
Folon snorted. "No shit, Sherlock."
Aymee clicked.
The watchmen's eyes bulged out of his head.
"WHY YOU MONGREL-"
:SCENE RETAKE #4:
Memo: We apologize for the inconvenience. We're back.
The guard's hand twitched involuntarily.
"You've got two empty halves of a coconut and you're banging them together!"
Folon was given a death glare from his partner Aymee. He patted his heavily bandaged head.
"Yep!" he chirped.
"Your line was…we have ridden since the snow of Wazn covered the land, dope."
:SCENE RETAKE #5:
We apologize yet again for the bad actor, Folon. Still, he seems to want to continue. He promises he won't mess up.
"So? We have ridden since the snows of Wazn covered the land, through the kingdom of Anuenue, though—"
Folon is cut off rudely.
"Where didja get the coconuts?" The watchman answered, bored.
Aymee answered quickly. "Found them."
"Found them? In Mira? There are no coconuts in Mira." He says matter-of-factly.
"And…what do you mean by that?"
"Simply that there are NO coconuts in Mira. It's a temperate zone."
"The bunnycat may run south with the sun or the house martin or the
fluffpup may seek warmer climates in winter, yet these are not strangers to
our land?"
"Good one Aymee!"
The poor watchmen looked confused. "I absolutely…have no clue as to what you have just said…"
:SCENE RETAKE #6:
Memo: We have a new watchman. And regrettably, we had to change our King and knight…but good news! King Ladekahn is back.
The guard fired back. "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
Ladekahn shrugged. "Not at all. They could be carried."
The guard went wide-eyed. "What? A bunnycat carrying a coconut?"
"It could grip it by the husk."
"It doesn't matter where he grips it! We already know that a five-ounce bunnycat CANNOT carry a one-pound coconut."
The king looked thoughtful. "I agree. Greythornes are better anyhow."
The guard thought for a second. "…Yeah. Not about the greythornes though. Pollywhales or cuter."
Ladekahn looked appalled. "You are TERRIBLY wrong about that. NOTHING matches the CUTENESS of a greythorne!"
"NUH-UH! Why don't you take a look at the pollywhale in our sewer. He is MUCH, MUCH cuter! HE even has a name!"
"What, Dinky?"
"No, Pauly! He wanders around the sewer of the watercourse and flaps his dorsal fins so..."
"In my opinion, a dirty, overgrown pollywhale wandering the Mira sewer is NOWHERE near as cute as-
MEMO: We interrupt this program because the characters cannot seem to go on. Forgive us, I assure you we will be back again.
King Ladekahn: I have nothing to say.
Me: I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to make you seem THAT out of character. It's just…funnier this way.
King Ladekahn: Funny? Robbing the dignity of a person is what you call funny?
Me: I better stop this. I can't win a debate against the King!
