Disclaimer: I own nothing… except Nicky. So if you sue me all you'll get are 4 boxes of notebooks, a cat, and a fairly violent 19-year-old girl.

/AN: This is my first humor fic so please… be gentle. I love feedback so please review and help make me a better writer. If this sucks I'm sorry. I was bored, and this situation has actually happened to me before lol. Anyway, I'm going to shut up now, enjoy!

Bag of Tricks

"What's that"?

"What's what"?

"That".

John Cena pointed into the opening of a diva's gym bag. Randy Orton hurried to John's side to investigate. Peering inside he suddenly jumped back.

"What IS that"?

"That's what I asked man".

"Well I don't know".

"Yo, have you ever seen anything like that before"?

"No, never. Hey, you don't think it could be a… you know"?

Randy covered his mouth and giggled like a little girl. John scratched his head in confusion, but then realization dawned on him and he joined Randy in giggling.

"Yo dude, what if it is"?

"Pull it out so we can get a better look".

"What? Yo man I ain't touchin' that shit".

"Why, are you afraid"?

"Nah man, I don't know where that thing's been".

"Oh, I can imagine where it's been".

Randy giggled like a little schoolgirl again. John rolled his eyes and smacked Randy upside the head.

"Ow, damn, what was that for"?

"Stop being a pervert man".

"Well, I'm just saying…"

Randy ducked as John raised his hand again.

"Fine, I'll stop. Whose bag is it"?

John reached over and flipped over the ID tag and jumped even further back.

"What"?

"It's Nicky's"!

"What? You mean to tell me that that belongs to that new gothic chick? Now I KNOW where that's been"!

"Shut up man".

"Oh right, you're the one with a crush on that bitch".

"No I don't, and she's not a bitch. You only think that because she didn't give you the time of day man".

"Whatever just pull it out".

"No"!

"Chicken".

"I am not a chicken. Yo dude, it's none of our business anyway".

"Oh sure you were all for it before you found out it was Nicky's".

"Shut up man".

Randy started to prance around John while making chicken motions with his arms and head.

"Bock! Bock… bock… BOCK"!

John, growing annoyed, threw a punch, but Randy jumped out of the way.

"Johnny and Nicky sitting in a tree…"

"Shut up".

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

"SHUT UP"!

"Then pull it out".

"No".

"Come on".

"Dude, you pull it out if you're so interested".

"No way, I'm not the one in love with her".

"I'm not… you know what, I don't even care".

"Pull it out".

"No"!

"No one's gonna find out".

"No"!

"Fine! I'll do it. Give me a shirt".

"Why? You never wear one".

"So I don't have to touch it".

Cough cough

Randy and John spun around and their hearts sank into their stomachs.