A/N: I have a copy of a book called "My Ox Is Broken!" which is about The Amazing Race in general, as well as discussing the first nine Races in some detail, interviews with the racers, and interesting facts and trivia about the Race. This book, and the "Meet the Teams" episode that accompanies each Amazing Race season, have inspired me to write several more tie-ins to my Amazing Race Star Wars story. This is the first of them. Most of them might have at least one spoiler or quasi-spoiler, though, so be warned; there may be a few giveaways here, even though you have my word that none of the spoilers will give away the winning team of The Amazing Race Star Wars.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Star Wars Rebels, or The Amazing Race. Dave Filoni's Clone Wars/Rebels team and Disney own the former two, and the CBS station is responsible for the latter one.
What We Did During the Dark Times
PETRO
The Amazing Race is a great show to compete on because you get to go all around the galaxy, from the Core Worlds to the Outer Rim and back, and along the way you get to learn about different cultures and customs and how other humans and aliens live their lives. Because it's competitive, you also get to work very hard and learn that you have talents, strengths, and attributes you never knew you had before. My only real frustration with racing the race is that, since you have to move as fast as you can all the time, you don't always get to see the locales for as long or as deeply as you'd like. I know some things from the race that I would've loved to see more of, like the famous towns of Mos Eisley and Mos Espa on Tatooine, and the awesome wampa creatures on the ice planet of Hoth. I think this race is for almost anyone in the galaxy who's capable of intergalactic travel and wants to see what's out there. It disgusts me a little that so many Imperial citizens and Imperial officers are so uninterested in seeing the worlds, cultures and customs of other, unique people, unless of course, they're going there to murder people or to demolish their cultures and their worlds, like the stormtroopers and that ugly monster, Darth Vader.
One thing I really like about The Amazing Race is that, even with the Empire controlling the galaxy, it's not a programmed or fixed race. The producers and the host, Dex Jettster, don't pick a choice team and then arrange everything to make them win no matter what. You have to work hard or you aren't going to make it very far. Katooni and I had a lot of fun making our nuna roast on Saleucami, although the Roadblock that was next challenged Katooni almost to her limits. I've never seen a more courageous attempt to carry a tray with a nuna roast and a glass of wine through the busy streets of Saleucami's capital city! The camera teams are really good and cooperative, too. Our own went out of its way to make sure nothing bad happened to us. We think, and I hope most of the other teams agree with us, that more common citizens should try this race, because the people of the Core Worlds are always so blasted comfortable, and seeing worlds in the Mid and Outer Rims, and possibly Wild Space, too, would show them how easy it is in the Core, and how lucky they are to live on Coruscant, Eriadu, or any other "advanced" world. Why, even "advanced" worlds can be difficult sometimes. If it weren't for the extreme xenophobia of the native Skakoans, I'd suggest the race take some people to the metropolis of Skako, to see how it feels to be on a high-pressure, methane planet. All the other teams were great, too, even though some, like the Darksiders and the Bad Bounty Hunters, were made to look bad on the show.
Being a youngling on The Amazing Race is awesome too, because children, as Master Yoda was fond of saying, see the universe with wonder, and understand things and people for what they are, not what they hope or want them to be. We saw things differently than all the others in the race, although the Young Rebels, Ezra and Sabine, may have possibly been the same way. On Dagobah, Katooni and I were able to relax more than any other team when we were doing Yoda's Detour. And then, on Hoth, Katooni actually saw the fun in riding a touchy tauntaun, and though hunting the wampas was harder, Katooni's expression was priceless when I asked her which ways were upwind and downwind. Of course, there were no challenges made especially for younglings like ourselves, unfortunately. Although most of the other teams weren't very old, the only other youngling team in the race was the Young Rebels, Ezra and Sabine, as I already mentioned. But even though it has its drawbacks, I had a great time doing The Amazing Race.
KATOONI
Being a youngling on The Amazing Race was amazing. Having to spend most of our time hiding from the Empire, the Race gave us a great opportunity to legally get out and see the galaxy beyond our hiding place. It was cool seeing several cultures outside of the Jedi culture. My personal favorite was Utapau, where the two native races live as masters and servants, and still manage to live in harmony without any sort of resentment. It was a little stinky, working with the raw meat that the Pau'ans naturally eat, but I remembered to show my respect, and so did Petro. Besides, the Pau'ans have every right to eat their food the way they see fit. It's part of their culture. And the Utai were one of the cutest and most inventive alien races I've seen in my life. Just goes to show that you can learn something new every day until you either win, or your time is up.
All the challenges, whether they're Roadblocks, Route Info, or Detours, are a pure joy to do. To an extent, even the harder ones can be fun. And you never know what's going to come next, like another Roadblock, a Detour, or the Pit Stop.
Pit Stops can be either scary (if you come in last) or very exciting (if you come in first)! On some legs, the last team may not be eliminated. And the Race also has those awesome Fast Forwards that can be a short cut to the end of a leg if you pass them. The only problem is, you can use a Fast Forward only once, and then it's gone. If you get lost, you can still come in last, too, with or without the Fast Forward. I liked having a nice, kind camera crew following us around too, especially since they proved trustworthy. They were really kind to us and filmed some of our best moments on the race, as well as one of our worst. And in-between legs, you can sit down and chat with other teams or play a friendly game of cards or dice with them.
In Detours, I like that you can switch Detours if the one you choose first is too hard to handle, even though Petro and I never had to do that in this Race (On Utapau, if teams couldn't do the smart Pau'an Politics test well enough, they could switch to the Utai Utilities and test their strength and endurance). With Roadblocks, each team can choose either team member to do the challenge. Problem is, they can't switch team members on the same Roadblock. So once you pick somebody, he or she is stuck. Route Info leaves a pleasant feeling of suspense too, because you never know which planet you're going to go to next.
Dex (of Dex's Diner, none other!), is the official host and eliminator. He doesn't like to say to a team that they came in last, but he's enthusiastic about telling the winners of a leg, "You are team number one!" And when a team comes in first on a leg, they are usually awarded with a prize like a trip from Travelocity (Imperial Travelocity, but what can you do?) or something material like a landspeeder or a starfighter! I remember that on Utapau, Petro and I came in first and won a trip to Rodia, which we and our friends, Gungi, Byph, Zatt, and most of all, Ganodi, had the greatest time enjoying after the Race! I wish we had won the million credits, too!
I had a lot of fun on The Amazing Race and I want to do it again when the Empire is defeated! I'm sure the Rebels wouldn't abolish such a great show if and when they beat the Empire!
A/N: This story is a two-shot, and will have another praiseworthy commentary on The Amazing Race Star Wars by Hera Syndulla. And for those of you who want to know when I'm going to update my actual Amazing Race fanfic, it shouldn't be too much longer. I estimate that it'll be ready within the next one to two weeks at the longest.
