Nicky couldn't believe what she was about to do she had absolutely no right to be doing this it could so easily be her being ex-committed. She knew she should be helping here through this instead she was choosing to help cut her off from the family.

She sees Tricia on her bed shaking and sweating with a puke bucket next to her she just thinks how easily this could be her.

She hates how red doesn't understand what she's going through addiction is like a disease almost impossible to have cured.

"Hey how goes it"

When Tricia sees Nicky she's so grateful she's not going through this alone she knows she can trust Nicky cause Nicky struggles with addiction and understands what it's like.

"I've been better" she lies

"If I tell you it gets better does that make me corny"

"It makes you a liar"

"Brought you OG carton not Simpson"she places the carton on the bed

Nicky tells Tricia about a withdrawal story hoping it can bring some sort of comfort which is fucking ironic considering what she's about to do.

"I think I'm lucky the guards think Ive got the flu like everyone else" with it being flu season red wouldn't suspect anything about her state of health

"In two days your gonna be wishing you had the flu"

"I'm lucky your here with me" Nicky hearing this makes her regret what she's doing.

" I'll get through this I'll get back on track they won't even find out I was using"

"Yes they will"

"What no girls got my back I never snitch nobody so who's gonna tell em" totally thinking of that pig fucker Mendez.

"You are"

At this point Tricia is so fucking confused.

"What"

"Two strikes that's all you get Red sent me said she doesn't play baseball" Nicky says while rolling her eyes

"I'm quitting you tell her that don't make me go down there" Tricia says basically panicking

"This isn't about you reds fighting a bigger fight shits Changing around here"

"She is supposed to take care of us!" Tricia says almost yelling while shivering and panicking

"Your gonna get up your gonna go to the office.."

"Please" Tricia basically begs

"Your gonna tell him you were using and throw yourself on his mercy" Nicky holds back her tears but she can feel her eyes starting to water

"They'll but me in the SHU and I'll die in there"

"You won't die you'll suffer then you'll come back out say what you need to say" Nicky says coldly but inside she's regretting this and wants to have her and red help her through withdrawal ,but she has to put up a front and pretend she has no empathy.

"Your supposed to be my family" Tricia says while shivering and tearing up

"Not anymore"

These words make Tricia's heart drop how could she be so stupid she's losing the only family she ever had that gave a shit about her.

"Nicky Nicky no no please Nicky don't go" she says while sobbing while Nicky walks away.

While walking out Nicky tears up she doesn't understand how she could do that she can't live with herself she can't live with how red betrayed Tricia how she made her kick her out of the family