The thing about blowing off school with Roger, Bill realized, was that he'd have to stay after the next day to make up the work. Somehow Roger had gotten out of it – either that or he just didn't give a damn, Bill wasn't sure, maybe Maurice had dragged him away before anyone could catch them – and now he was heading to the library where he'd get his assignments and spend the next half an hour to an hour working on them.

He didn't think he'd be alone, but there probably wouldn't be anyone he knew, so he resigned himself to an afternoon of utter loneliness and boredom.

He entered the library about five minutes later than he should have, collected his assignments, and scanned the library for a free table. Nothing by himself, but…

There was Ralph Roemers sitting at a table alone, neither of his annoying as hell friends beside him. Bill swallowed and glanced around again. There had to be another free space, right? A space away from the kid he'd had a weird, slowly growing crush on for the past year and a half.

Ah, fuck it. He'd just go over there and put his headphones in and pretend that Ralph was Roger or something. He'd have no problem ignoring Roger.

Then again, if that were true, he wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

He stalked through the tables, knocking into some kid a few years younger than him and sending him sprawling and not caring, and sat down across from Ralph. He immediately regretted it. He would've thought that sitting across from him would be far better than sitting beside him, and the table only had four spots, but now Ralph was looking at him almost expectantly.

Bill grunted a greeting and flipped open his Algebra book. To be honest, Roger had picked a decent day to skip. There hadn't been much work. He could be in and out of here in twenty minutes.

"Bill?"

Oh fuck.

Bill glanced up. "Yeah?" he asked, rubbing at his eyes almost subconsciously and wishing that sunglasses were acceptable schoolwear.

"You weren't here yesterday, were you? But you were the day before, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," Bill said. Now that he thought about it, Ralph had been gone the day before yesterday. His nose looked red. Was he sick? Oh, great, on top of it all, he was going to get sick. "Why?"

"I don't understand Chemistry," Ralph said, grinning a cheeky grin that made Bill want to hit himself in the face with a brick. "And she probably went over a bunch of important stuff while I was gone."

"Uh, not really," Bill said, trying to focus back on polynomials. "It was just a review day, really."

"Really?" Ralph asked. "I needed that."

"You can borrow my notes," Bill said, digging around in his backpack and handing them over. Ralph's fingers brushed his as he took the notebook, and Bill flushed a dark shade of red. Damn it all, he generally liked doing this rather than taking his homework home to do, because it was generally a lot quieter and he could actually get it done, but with this situation he was lucky if he even started.

"Thanks," Ralph said, and it was quiet apart from the sound of pencil scratching on paper. "Say, are you busy Saturday?"

Bill flushed, swallowed, and answered. "N-no. Wait. Yeah. I have to watch my sister."

Ralph licked his lips, then sighed. "Could I come over then? It's just, Piggy wanted me to go over to his house, and while he is better than most of you lot, he's more of a school friend, you know? And I need an excuse. Simon's busy, and Sam and Eric have some funeral to go to, so I was just looking for… well, someone, and then you showed up."

"Sure," Bill said, and Ralph beamed. Bill swallowed again, glancing to the side. Ralph reached over the table and grasped his hand.

"It's a date then."

"A what."

"Well, not like a date date, but it's settled, then."

"Alright."

Face burning, Bill focused back on his homework.

Saturday came far faster than he'd expected, and soon it was noon, his little sister was jumping on his bed, and he was shoving a pillow over his head to try and get some rest. Then his phone buzzed.

He grabbed for it blindly, typing in his passcode, and glanced at the text.

im here

Ralph.

Bill shoved his little sister off of his back and pulled on a shirt on his way downstairs. He was still just in his underwear, but they were boxers, so he could deal with it. He answered the door out-of-breath.

"Sorry," he said. "I was. Uh. Sleeping."

"O-kay," Ralph said. He peered into Bill's house, knapsack slung over one shoulder casually, a hole in one knee of his jeans. He was dressed almost ulta-casually – old t-shirt, holey jeans, even his sneakers looked like they'd seen better days. "So, where's the sister?"

Bill felt something collide with his back and a pair of little arms wrap themselves around his waist. "Right here," he said, peeling her off of him. She went willingly enough, though she hid behind him when she saw who was there.

"What's her name?"

"Cecelia," Bill said. There was an awkward pause. "Come in. I can put on the TV for Cece, if you want."

Ralph nodded, and after a moment, Bill stepped aside to let him in. "Should I take off my shoes?"

"Yeah, just kick them off here," Bill said, waving his arm and dragging Cece over to the living room. He picked up the remote and flipped through the channels until he found some animated thing. "Watch this. I have a friend over."

"A boyfriend?"

"A friend who's a boy. Now shut up."

"You don't look at him like you look at Roger."

"That's because Roger's psycho and I fear the day when he finally snaps and stabs someone. Watch."

Thankfully, Cecelia stayed put once he bribed her with a few cookies, and he was able to go back to Ralph, who was still standing in the entryway, now in his sock feet – the socks had holes in them, too, Bill noticed.

"You look like you put on your oldest possible clothes for this," Bill remarked, then winced. He probably shouldn't have said that.

"You're not even wearing pants."

He'd forgotten about that. "Oh, yeah, I should probably… do that…"

Ralph laughed a little. "It's fine."

"Okay," he said, and stood there, pantsless, until he came up with something else. "Want to go into the kitchen? I sort of just woke up, so I'm starving."

"Yeah, sure," Ralph said, and asked possibly the most awkward question he could ask on the way to the kitchen. "Are you gay?"

"What the- I- uh- I have an ex-girlfriend," Bill said lamely.

"Well, yeah, I know, but you were blushing a lot in the library," Ralph said, that cheeky grin on his face again. "Especially when our fingers touched."

"I'm… really pale."

"I can see that."

It was quiet. Bill busied himself with cooking a few eggs in the microwave and thinking about the fact that he still didn't have any pants on. After a while, he worked up the courage to ask Ralph back. "Why? You gay?"

"Maybe," Ralph said. "Me and Simon have experimented a little. I don't know. It's not really any different than kissing a girl."

"Oh," Bill said. "I've never kissed a guy."

Really, he should have seen this coming. He should have seen Ralph getting closer and as soon as that thought slipped into his head he should have known that this would be what would happen, because now he was standing with his back to the stove with Ralph's mouth on his and dear God he wasn't wearing any pants.

Something popped in the microwave and they both jumped.

"So?" Ralph asked as Bill as he was cleaning out the microwave. "How was it?"

"Nice," Bill said, voice a little strangled. "I, uh. Should clean this up. Please go watch TV with my little sister."

He was still blushing as he sat down next to Ralph with his freshly cooked breakfast (lunch?) on his lap. He really, really hated Roger for convincing him to skip that one day of school.


Ah, Bill/Ralph. That joke pairing that got taken too far – so far, in fact, that an anon on Tumblr requested it! This is High School AU setting, modern day, all that fun stuff. Either way, Bill/Ralph is immense fun to write and Bill is still not a character option.