The magic was gone. The wonderful dream that she had lived all those months ago had almost completely dissolved into nothing, destroyed by the dark grip of reality that had all but choked all the magic and hope out of Alice. Everything that she had experienced, the fear, the happiness, the amazement, the beauty of all of it, now dead and lifeless in the faint memories that she still had of that wonderful place. She had spent days afterwards looking for that same rabbit hole that had once transported her into the only place were she had felt she had belonged, but alas, there was nothing to be found. When her mother had stopped letting her out, she cried and cried. Her mother had asked what she wanted, but what she wanted, her mother could never give her. All she wanted was her wonderland but all that her mother could provide her was the harsh sting of reality. The reminder that places like wonderland couldn't possibly exist and that it was foolish to hang onto these ideas.
The weeks that followed her trip to Wonderland, were almost more then Alice could bear. Before she had ever stepped foot in Wonderland, she had dreamt about a place like it, and even though it scared and confused her, she became absolutely infatuated with it. She wrote beautiful detailed stories in which she somehow ended up back in Wonderland, hoping that one day these stories would become a reality. Before Wonderland, she had sunk to the lowest point of her life. She felt scared and alone. Upon entering wonderland, she didn't feel much better. She was at the bottom of everything scared and alone, unsure of how to go on. But as she had progressed through wonderland, she found out how fantastically odd and perfect that it was. There were still things that where wicked and horrible that made everyone else miserable but beyond all of that were the things that where magically arcane that gave Wonderland its beauty.
Wonderland had helped her discover who she truly was. She had found confidence that she was beginning to loose with age, that she had almost completely lost once again to the blunt reality of this other world that she reluctantly called her home. How could she ever bring herself to be happy again when those all around her thought of her beautiful Wonderland as a fabrication of her mind? Her mother had even gone as far as to have her looked at by a doctor but it was very clear that she was not completely insane therefore a waste of the doctor's time.
This whole ordeal had defiantly taken a toll on the relationship between her and her mother, not that Alice really cared much. She had never had anything in common with her mother or even her sister for that matter. They were both very down to earth. They were both very dull and terrified of anything that was in anyway out of the ordinary and Alice was exactly that. Not to say they were exactly scared of Alice, just afraid of her individuality and what others will think of her contra ways of thinking, hoping that she would soon grow out of them. Alice had almost believed that she would until that fateful day which only solidified her individuality.
Even though Wonderland had taught her many things about her self, she was terrified that the world would strip that away from her like it strips away anything and everything that is beautiful until it is all the same, lifeless, and afraid.
