The McNozzo Papers

On the way back to NCIS, Tony looked at Tim, who was driving the agency sedan.

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"About?"

Tony twisted his head, "Mmm, maybe why your grandmother knows so much about me and funny thing, I never even knew you had a grandmother! Well, obviously you did, but a living one…you know what I mean, Tim!"

Tim focused on the road and hoped his ears were not turning red although he could feel them burning. "You know how it is, they ask about your work, but we can't talk about work so I talk about the team. If Ziva had been with me, Penny would have said something equally personal about her, Tony. It's just…idle conversation."

"Oh yeah, what about Gibbs?"

Tim sighed, "Look is this going to be the book thing all over again?"

"No, this is much more interesting than the book thing."

"Huh?"

"Tim, she said I was much better looking than you described. Did you describe me as good looking?"

Tim stalled out on that one for a few seconds and then took refuge in his words. "I'm a writer, Tony, I paint a picture with words and it distracts her from asking things about my job that I can't tell her. That's all."

"Oh." There was silence for several minutes and then, "Because if you did describe me as good looking because you…you know…that would be perfectly fine."

"Ok, I don't know and I don't think I want to."

"Tim, I'm hungry, let's stop and get lunch."

"What?"

"Come on, man, we need to talk and we can't do that with Gibbs, Ziva or worse, Abby around. They have no respect for privacy."

Tim nearly choked at that, "Pot calling kettle, Tony." He wanted to pound his head into the steering wheel or better yet wake up and find he'd been dreaming. No such luck, 'pit bull' Tony was going to figure this out one way or another; he'd likely drive him insane until he heard an explanation that satisfied him. Penny…oooh, Penny! "Look Tony, can we maybe talk about this later, after we figure out why my grandmother is lying to me?"

"You knew that?"

"Hello, trained investigator and you trained me! Do you really think so little of your training?"

"Um, when you put it that way, no."

"So we have a deal?"

"Yeah, but I'm not letting it go, McInvestigator."

Tim smiled; his first one since finding his grandmother's name on the dead man's phone. "I like that one."

"Yeah? Good, I made you smile. We'll figure it out Tim." Tony patted his friend and teammate on the shoulder, "We'll figure it out."

Tim wasn't sure what they were going to figure out, his grandmother's involvement or what caused her remarks, but he was grateful for the postponement and kept his mouth shut. Firmly. And hopefully forever, well on that topic anyway.

His hope was in vain of course, this was DiNozzo after all. Days later, after Tim had saved his grandmother's life and then finally gotten her to tell them the truth only to have his team save her a second time, he packed his gear and prepared to slide right out of the office. He'd finished his report and Gibbs had given him a nod, he was good to go. Tony was away from his desk who knows where, likely avoiding his own report writing. Tim had decided to take the stairs and had just made it past the elevator when a hand clamped onto his shoulder.

"Whoa there, McHurry, where you goin'?"

"Home Tony, I'm tired."

"Oh no you don't. And you're always tired after a case, we all are. No excuses. It's time to talk, my friend."

"Tony…I don't know what else to tell you – I already told you the truth, what more do you want?"

"If that was the truth it was only part of it."

Tim shrugged DiNozzo's hand off his shoulder. "See you tomorrow."

"Hey!"

Tim shook his head, "I'm off the clock, DiNozzo; my life is my life." He continued down the stairs. Tony stood looking after him, wondering what to do. He'd been so sure that he'd finally find out if Tim felt the same way he did. Deep in thought he walked back to his desk. As he sat down, he had an idea, one of his brilliant ones. Not that all of his ideas weren't brilliant but this one had a particularly bright luster of brilliance to it. His eyes lit up as he contemplated the conversation that would take place.

"Don't."

"Huh?" He looked up to find his Boss standing there.

"Whatever idea you just had…to pry into McGee's life and find out whatever tiny piece of information you've decided is your business, drop it. Whatever you're up to, you're going about it the wrong way."

Tony couldn't formulate a sentence, did Boss know how he…seriously? How and if he knew why didn't Tim?

"Because I know you, I know how you think and how you operate. But he's not you, he doesn't react the same way you do and as much as you don't get him, he doesn't get you."

"But we're partners, Boss, how can you say that?"

"That's work, DiNozzo and he's had to learn you – and me and Ziva and Kate before her – just as we've all learned him. That's what makes us a team. But it doesn't extend into our personal lives."

Tony just looked at him, confused. "How can it not extend? We're the same people!"

"No, we're not. We're federal agents here, professionals. Look, outside of here, outside of work, the four of us are very private people. You hide behind all your yaba yaba, Ziva does god knows what, I build boats and shun the world and Tim…what does he do, Tony?"

"Has a dog, plays online games, writes novels, goes on horrible dates."

"Really? When was the last time you heard him say anything about a dog or playing online?"

Tony shook his head, "He doesn't need to, Boss, that's who he is, what he does."

"Don't be so sure. And as for the novels, have you seen any Gemcity books since that nutcase killed those guys?"

"Um no, but I don't read a lot of books, you know me, I prefer film."

"The dates, have you heard him talk about those?"

"Uh…no. Boss, what does he talk about?"

"He doesn't talk much, DiNozzo, unless it's about work or something really trivial or mundane - like taking his car in for service."

"Oh…but we're buds, we do movie and pizza nights, go out for drinks after work."

"Yeah? When was the last time you watched a movie with him?"

Tony stopped and thought. "Ok, it's been awhile, I admit that. Boss, what are you saying?"

"I don't know what you're up to but I do know you seem to have this image of Tim McGee in your brain and I'm just cautioning you that that image may be a piece of your overactive imagination."

Tony's forehead furrowed. "You're saying I may not know Tim McGee, the real Tim McGee."

"Yeah."

"Do you know him?"

"Maybe a little, but as long as he does his job and watches our backs – and he does that very well – I don't need to know, any more than he needs to know about my life. Unless he needs help, of course."

"I thought we were family and I thought family shared everything."

"Not in the family I grew up in and not any family I know of."

"Oh. But what does that have to do with my idea that you couldn't possibly know anything about."

"Because you just tried your usual method with him, strong arming him…and it didn't work, did it?"

"No, he…no, it didn't."

"Then maybe you're going about things the wrong way. Maybe you should take some time to get to know who he really is…that is, if he'll let you." Gibbs turned to walk away and then turned back again, "And maybe you should let him get to know the real you. Not the scheming charmer always trying to pry into his life – and everyone else's – but the guy that's warm, funny and caring."

Tony blinked as he sank down into his chair. Boss was always right, wasn't he? Did he really not know the real Tim and had he not shown his friend what was behind the mask?

XXX

As Tim drove out of the parking garage he was briefly tempted to stop and run back into the office to tell Tony the truth. Shaking his head, he kept driving. NCIS Headquarters was not the place for that kind of conversation, not only was it very personal, it wouldn't be either quick or easy. He thought about the man's vulnerability, wondered if Tony knew that he knew about his mask, how finally deciding there must be one was the only non-crazy explanation for the puzzle within a paradox within a conundrum that was his friend. Sighing, Tim realized he was being unfair to Tony. While he might not ever tell him the entire truth, he did owe him some explanation, something more substantial than what he'd already said, for his grandmother's words. Telling him would be a big step but it was one he needed to make and he knew in his heart it was the right one. It might mean leaving the team if Tony was upset but frankly, Tim was tired of hiding things from his teammates. Even Gibbs who had access to his personnel file, didn't know a lot about him. Being around Penny for a few days had brought back all the words of encouragement and courage she'd given him throughout his life.

When Tim got home, he dropped his bag and looked at his empty apartment. He'd been telling himself for years that his life was full, but truth was it was only full of work. Here at home, not so much. He had many online friends but he'd drifted away from some of them as he gradually gave up his gaming. He didn't have time and eventually found it too weird to be investigating deaths at work and causing them in cyberspace. Women, well although he'd hadn't joined the threatened monastery, he'd become overly cautious about making any sort of approach. And…he admitted to himself once again, his interests were leaning in another direction. He picked up his pack, moving it from the middle of the room to a spot by the door. Shaking his head at his procrastination, he pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at it. Resolute, he punched the number he needed.

XXX

At NCIS, Tony was alternating working on his reports and thinking about his friend. He wanted – and needed – to figure out what it was about Tim that he was missing. He wondered about the dog and the gaming. He hadn't been to Tim's place in years, not since before Abby had strong-armed him into taking the dog that had attacked him. Thinking of the CD he'd put on his computer afterward, Tony cringed. But he'd apologized for that later; he'd seen the scars on his arm and neck one time when Tim's shirt had gotten wet at a crime scene and he'd changed it at the office. Tony had felt awful that he'd trivialized his friend's experience; he hadn't realized how much danger Tim had actually been in, that the injuries could very well have been life threatening. Tim had accepted his apology and they'd talked about it a little bit, so that was all right.

While he was pondering, his cell rang and his face lit up when he saw who was calling. Determined to be himself, he answered quietly. "Hey Tim."

"Hi Tony. Are you still at work?"

"Yeah, working on my reports."

"Oh…I've been thinking Tony, I'm sorry I took off like that. I do want to talk with you, there's stuff you should probably know and I…well…we are friends and friends share. I guess I'm just weird about that and even weirder about personal stuff at work. So, do you want to come over? I'll order Chinese or pizza and maybe we can talk some."

"Tim! Yeah man, I'd like that and I'm sorry if I was pushing."

Tim chuckled, "Figured if I were in your shoes, I'd want to know too. And you weren't pushing too hard, Tony, you only do that now when you're worried about me."

"Man, I'm relieved to know you know that!"

"Why, were you worried?"

"Yeah, sorta. And Gibbs…well, never mind, I'll tell you later." Tony pushed himself to finish the reports in record time and texted Tim as he left, voting for Chinese food for dinner. He reached Tim's place at the same time as the delivery guy and helped Tim with the bags as he paid the kid. Two things he noticed: Tim left the door open while he paid for the food, not worrying about a pet escaping and as he walked inside, the interior looked completely different than Tony remembered. Granted, it had been years since he'd been inside, pizza and movie night always seemed to happen at his place, but still. There was a sofa and comfy looking chair and a small table with two chairs. There were still a few bookshelves but they were beautifully made wooden ones and they lined one of the walls instead of occupying most of the space in the small apartment, which really didn't look all that small anymore. Off to one side there was a long narrow table – like a workbench - full of electronic components but only one whole computer, plus a laptop. Turning Tony was amazed to see a ginormous TV on the wall; he must have been looking the other way when he walked in. He looked around the place, in between the bookshelves and on the other walls there was some nice artwork. He noticed an abstract painting and there were a couple of professional photographs, one of a tropical beach and one of a big blue door, nicely matted and framed.

Tony joined Tim in the kitchen. "Hadn't realized it had been so long since I've been here, Tim, place looks great."

Tim smiled up at him as he organized the food. "Thanks man. Yeah, you know my tastes have changed over the years. Couldn't stand the industrial look bookshelves anymore, sold off most of that stuff anyway. The vinyl that is, I still have the books. The rest of it just kind of crept in I guess."

"That TV is something else!"

Tim laughed, "I had that when you were first here - that time with Kate. It was in my bedroom then."

"That was almost ten years ago, Tim! That must have cost a fortune when you bought it."

"Yeah, it did. I bought it with the proceeds from my first book."

"Deep Six, wait I thought that was later."

"You're right, it was. Deep Six was my first Gemcity book, Tony, but not my first published book. Wrote my first book when I was at Johns Hopkins, under a different penname."

"Gibbs said I didn't know the real you and I guess he was right."

"What? When did he say that?"

"After you left the office. He told me I might have the wrong image of you in my head."

"What kind of wrong image?"

"Like maybe you don't do a lot of gaming anymore and don't own a dog and those horrible women you seem to end up with."

Tim had been carrying the plates toward the table, now he stopped at the couch. "Let's eat here instead, easier to talk."

Tony put the beers he'd been carrying down on the small coffee table. "Works for me."

He sat down and Tim sat next to him. Not too close but closer than he normally would have. Tim handed him his plate. "Tony, those are peripheral things. They wouldn't define me, not really. There is some stuff you don't know about me, but it's just stuff. I think – I hope – you know who I am. Just like I hope I know who you are."

Tony just nodded, "I think you do. You know about the mask, you figured it out."

"Only thing that made sense unless you really were crazy and I think the agency would have noticed before they hired you!"

"Gibbs said I should show you the warm, funny caring guy."

Tim smiled at him and poked him in the arm. "I know that guy pretty well. He's the one that showed up the night I shot the cop; the one that was so concerned when he saw the scars from the dog mauling. The one I went to Somalia with to avenge Ziva's death. The one who hung with me this week when I was so worried about Penny, the one who's here now. He's no stranger to me."

Tony took a deep breath and slowly released it, nodding. "So we do know each other, the real us, pretty well."

Tim got a funny look on his face. "Yeah. There's um…uh, geez, Tony."

"Penny outed us to each other, didn't she?"

"Us? Tony?"

"Yeah, if it's true, my theory of why you told her so much about me. Then it's us. I already know how I feel, Tim. I just…" Tony swallowed.

"Didn't know how I felt. And I do, I mean I…yeah."

Tony laughed, "You're the writer!"

Tim nodded, "Yeah, I can do this; you had the courage to say it, so I can too and you deserve to hear it Tony. Yes, your theory is right, why I've told Penny so much about you. I didn't know that was why for a long time. You're my best friend but I care about you even more than that, more than a friend. You asked – sort of – about my awful dates. I don't do those anymore, Tony, not since I discovered that as you put it I'm an equal opportunity dater. And the only one I want to date, to be with, is you."

Reaching over, Tim took Tony's plate from his hand and put it on the table with his and then pulled the other man into his arms, murmuring into his ear. "You, Tony, only you." Tim felt a little bubble of happiness welling up in him as they hugged. He'd worried so much about telling him or not telling him. In the end, Penny really had outed them to each other. He must remember to thank her later.

They probably would have stayed locked in each other's arms longer but as Tim was wondering if it was too soon for a kiss, Tony's stomach gave one of its infamous growls and the two of them laughed as they pulled apart.

Tim quipped, "The stomach has spoken, food first! Talk and shmush later!"

Tony rolled his eyes as Tim handed him his plate. "Good thing you do know me or that would have been pretty embarrassing."

Tim laughed as he grabbed his own plate. They ate in a comfortable silence and when they were finished, Tony washed and Tim dried. Drying his hands, Tony watched Tim reach up to put the last of the dishes away. When Tim turned to put the dish towel down, Tony took him in his arms and gave him a searing kiss.

When they surfaced for air, Tim managed to say "Or shmush first, talk later." They grinned at each other and turned toward the couch.

XXX

As Tim walked to his desk the next morning, he saw Gibbs and smiled. "'Mornin' Boss."

"'Mornin' Tim." Gibbs raised an eyebrow and smiled when Tim blushed. "So it worked."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Just keep it out of the office."

Tim nodded, they'd be professional; they both loved their jobs and their team too much to do otherwise. He grinned to himself, he was sure glad Gibbs had figured things out, decided to push things along. And someday when Tim finally told him, Tony would be glad too.