Grace Adler Designs
Finally, the sun is beginning to rise I thought as I gazed out the window and took a long sip of coffee. I hate being here alone in the dark. Leo hadn't called and I guess he wont. So that was it, I left. It was over.over almost as quickly as it had begun. What right did he have to expect me to close up shop, say goodbye to my friends and move to Africa for 18 months. I have a business to run, a career I had spent years building and he expects me to just abandon it and move to Africa. Am I really as selfish as he thinks I am? He can be a doctor anywhere, he doesn't need to go to Africa, the truth is he wants to go, and he wants to go more than he wants to be with me. There I said it, he love what he does, more than he loves me.
I went into the bathroom and tried to freshen up as best I could. I hadn't planned on leaving, and my packing reflected that. I had the essentials, toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant and fresh undies, and a clean change of clothes. I wish there were a shower here, but I'd have to make due. I put my hair up in a tight ponytail and brushed my teeth. What was I going to tell Will? I was too proud to admit that he was right about Leo. He'd be supportive of course, but I just couldn't take his pity right now. He never has any faith in me and why should he? He's seen me screw more things up than I care to count. Ugh, I had to stop thinking about Will for a little while. I rinsed my mouth out and scrubbed my face with the slimy bar of soap that's been sitting on the bathroom sink for months. Karen was going to be in soon and I didn't want her to know I had spent the night here. She already knows something's wrong; she's been coming in early.well on time, but early for her and she's been taking short lunch breaks, I know she wants me to talk to her, but I just can't. God things must be bad if Karen feels compelled to treat me kindly.
I decided to try to work on some sketches, there's a design showcase coming up and I have to come up with something creative. I grabbed my sketch pad and started working on a kitchen. As I sketched I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to what had happened last night. Leo had been angrier than I had ever seen him. His temper had been out of control since he returned from Africa, but I had attributed it to stress. He had been unaffectionate and cold toward me for the last week or so, and as much as I tried, I couldn't blame that on stress. What was I going to do? I couldn't live out of my office, and I certainly couldn't ask Will to let me stay with him, I need to be independent for once in my life. Maybe that was my problem, maybe I relied on people too much. I was too needy. No, that's not true, if that were the case I never would have had the guts to stand up to Leo and tell him that I wasn't going to travel half way across the world with him. So what was wrong with me? Leo says I'm too fickle, that no matter what I get out of life it will never be enough, that's not me though, is it? God my own husband doesn't even know me. I shouldn't be surprised though, we've spent the better part of our marriage apart, and we barely knew each other when we got married. My thoughts were quickly interrupted when Karen entered the office.
"Good morning honey, whatcha working on over there?" Karen asked as she settled into her desk.
"Good morning Karen, just some sketches. I want to get a head start on the design seminar coming up."
"You're here pretty early Karen, what's the special occasion?" I was grateful that Karen had come in early, even though I wasn't able to tell her what was going on, I really needed someone to talk to.
"Well, I'm glad you asked sweetie, I know I give you a hard time, and pick on you way too much, but I've been worried about you Gracie. Now before you say anything I want you to hear me out. I know you and Leo are having problems, I know you haven't been eating, which I think we both know is quite unusual for you, and I also know you spent the night here last night."
"Karen, there's no way you can know all those things." Well, ok so you know I haven't been eating much." Is that why she took me out to lunch yesterday? She wanted to see if I was going to eat. Ugh, what was it with these people, is everyone in my life trying to set me up in one way or another? God I feel like I'm constantly being tested.
"Karen, what makes you think Leo and I are having problems? You know what? Forget it, don't answer that, I don't want to know. You don't know anything!" I practically screamed.
"God I need to get out of here." I grabbed my purse and stomped toward the door, what if Karen calls Jack and tells him what just happened, and then Jack would call Will, Will can't know yet, I'm not ready to deal with him.
"Karen so help me god if you mention this to anyone..I need to get some fresh air and I trust you're not going to pick up the phone the second I walk out the door."
"Grace, you go do what you need to do, I'm not going to say anything." Karen replied sheepishly.
Karen must be really worried I thought as I walked out of the building, she didn't make one wisecrack. I shouldn't have been so harsh with her. Karen can actually be quite sweet when she wants to be..you never know when that sharp tongue is going to strike though.
Maybe I should tell Karen what's going on. I needed a place to stay and I didn't want to stay in a hotel. I'm sure if I asked her she'd be glad to put me up for a couple days. But then I'd have to tell her everything and I just wasn't ready to do that yet. What was I so afraid of? After all, as callous as Karen can be, she would never make me feel badly about myself. Where as Will can make me feel like a failure without saying one word.
Finally, the sun is beginning to rise I thought as I gazed out the window and took a long sip of coffee. I hate being here alone in the dark. Leo hadn't called and I guess he wont. So that was it, I left. It was over.over almost as quickly as it had begun. What right did he have to expect me to close up shop, say goodbye to my friends and move to Africa for 18 months. I have a business to run, a career I had spent years building and he expects me to just abandon it and move to Africa. Am I really as selfish as he thinks I am? He can be a doctor anywhere, he doesn't need to go to Africa, the truth is he wants to go, and he wants to go more than he wants to be with me. There I said it, he love what he does, more than he loves me.
I went into the bathroom and tried to freshen up as best I could. I hadn't planned on leaving, and my packing reflected that. I had the essentials, toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant and fresh undies, and a clean change of clothes. I wish there were a shower here, but I'd have to make due. I put my hair up in a tight ponytail and brushed my teeth. What was I going to tell Will? I was too proud to admit that he was right about Leo. He'd be supportive of course, but I just couldn't take his pity right now. He never has any faith in me and why should he? He's seen me screw more things up than I care to count. Ugh, I had to stop thinking about Will for a little while. I rinsed my mouth out and scrubbed my face with the slimy bar of soap that's been sitting on the bathroom sink for months. Karen was going to be in soon and I didn't want her to know I had spent the night here. She already knows something's wrong; she's been coming in early.well on time, but early for her and she's been taking short lunch breaks, I know she wants me to talk to her, but I just can't. God things must be bad if Karen feels compelled to treat me kindly.
I decided to try to work on some sketches, there's a design showcase coming up and I have to come up with something creative. I grabbed my sketch pad and started working on a kitchen. As I sketched I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to what had happened last night. Leo had been angrier than I had ever seen him. His temper had been out of control since he returned from Africa, but I had attributed it to stress. He had been unaffectionate and cold toward me for the last week or so, and as much as I tried, I couldn't blame that on stress. What was I going to do? I couldn't live out of my office, and I certainly couldn't ask Will to let me stay with him, I need to be independent for once in my life. Maybe that was my problem, maybe I relied on people too much. I was too needy. No, that's not true, if that were the case I never would have had the guts to stand up to Leo and tell him that I wasn't going to travel half way across the world with him. So what was wrong with me? Leo says I'm too fickle, that no matter what I get out of life it will never be enough, that's not me though, is it? God my own husband doesn't even know me. I shouldn't be surprised though, we've spent the better part of our marriage apart, and we barely knew each other when we got married. My thoughts were quickly interrupted when Karen entered the office.
"Good morning honey, whatcha working on over there?" Karen asked as she settled into her desk.
"Good morning Karen, just some sketches. I want to get a head start on the design seminar coming up."
"You're here pretty early Karen, what's the special occasion?" I was grateful that Karen had come in early, even though I wasn't able to tell her what was going on, I really needed someone to talk to.
"Well, I'm glad you asked sweetie, I know I give you a hard time, and pick on you way too much, but I've been worried about you Gracie. Now before you say anything I want you to hear me out. I know you and Leo are having problems, I know you haven't been eating, which I think we both know is quite unusual for you, and I also know you spent the night here last night."
"Karen, there's no way you can know all those things." Well, ok so you know I haven't been eating much." Is that why she took me out to lunch yesterday? She wanted to see if I was going to eat. Ugh, what was it with these people, is everyone in my life trying to set me up in one way or another? God I feel like I'm constantly being tested.
"Karen, what makes you think Leo and I are having problems? You know what? Forget it, don't answer that, I don't want to know. You don't know anything!" I practically screamed.
"God I need to get out of here." I grabbed my purse and stomped toward the door, what if Karen calls Jack and tells him what just happened, and then Jack would call Will, Will can't know yet, I'm not ready to deal with him.
"Karen so help me god if you mention this to anyone..I need to get some fresh air and I trust you're not going to pick up the phone the second I walk out the door."
"Grace, you go do what you need to do, I'm not going to say anything." Karen replied sheepishly.
Karen must be really worried I thought as I walked out of the building, she didn't make one wisecrack. I shouldn't have been so harsh with her. Karen can actually be quite sweet when she wants to be..you never know when that sharp tongue is going to strike though.
Maybe I should tell Karen what's going on. I needed a place to stay and I didn't want to stay in a hotel. I'm sure if I asked her she'd be glad to put me up for a couple days. But then I'd have to tell her everything and I just wasn't ready to do that yet. What was I so afraid of? After all, as callous as Karen can be, she would never make me feel badly about myself. Where as Will can make me feel like a failure without saying one word.
