A/N: All the characters, situations, and places related to the Harry Potter world belong to JKR.
Stay with me
A life debt
"Look…at…me…"
Severus' eyes remained locked on the emerald irises that had driven him towards betterment, all throughout his life. He could see Lily's warmth behind them, soothing and telling him that it was over now. He was finally ready to be free. He had done everything that was needed from him and now it's time to move on. Ignoring the battle cries that surrounded them, he tried to embrace the darkness that loomed over him.
"Move over, Harry."
"Hermione, stop. Can't you see, he's in pain."
"Yes, I can see that very well. That's why I'm trying to save him."
"No," Severus Snape roared as blood started to seep from the wounds on his neck where the wretched snake had torn him apart.
"I'm sorry, Professor. But we can't let you die." Hermione Granger's words reached his ears. Before he could give out any protests, a stone was shoved down his throat.
"A bezoar?" the chosen one spoke in a quivering voice.
"I don't know if this would work. Professor, please look at me." Her pleading voice kept hammering on his ears.
"Let's leave him here, Hermione. He killed Dumbledore. How could you both forget this," Ron yelled. "He deserves this."
"Shut it, Ron. He's our Professor who was mercilessly murdered by his own master, that too in a brutal way. No one deserves such kind of death," Hermione said frantically looking around. "Harry! Get dittany from my bag. If only we could stop the bleeding for the time being."
Severus muted cries went unheard among the shuffling noises surrounding him. "Here," Harry said unstoppering the bottle and handing it over to Hermione.
"Harry I need you to pour the dittany over his wounds while I hold his head." Hermione tentatively dragged the reluctant teacher's head into her lap. "Stop fumbling, Harry. Do it now."
"This is nonsense. Why are you caring for that old bat?" Ron interrupted again.
"Leave me. Get away from here," Severus tried to say, but only choking sounds came out of his mouth, followed by a hiss where dittany started to act on his neck.
With her troubled voice still battering his ears, Severus let out a sharp gasp. The end was close, just a fingertip away. If only he could reach it with his extended hand. Looking at a pair of worried amber eyes, instead of emerald, Severus Snape gave in. As his eyes fluttered close all he heard was another scream.
Severus didn't know where he was as his senses came back alive. He pried his eyelids open and encountered a stilled darkness. Is this what death feels like? Dark and calm. No, this isn't right. If he had died why is he still experiencing anguish? Wasn't death a freedom from all this pain? As he opened his eyes wide, the familiarity of the scene hit his brain hard and his heart dropped into his stomach.
He was still lying in the same place where the snake had attacked him. His body was resting on something soft. He lifted his fingers and gingerly ran them over his neck. There were traces of blood on his neck but he could feel the rough patches of healing skin around the bite wounds. The smell of dittany assaulted his nose and he cursed the Gryffindors and their meddling. It was because of them. No, because of her, the insufferable know-it-all, he is back in these wretched conditions. He tried to stand up and that's when a harsh cry hit his ears.
"HARRY POTTER'S DEAD."
Severus Snape shut his eyes, clenching his teeth. What have I done? A wave of guilt washed over him as he understood the depth of those words. It was because of the memories he shared, Potter had gone to sacrifice himself. He thought he would have passed on without having to see any more of this destruction. But he wasn't lucky enough. He was once again dragged back into this mess by the annoying person he'd ever met, who wouldn't just keep her nose out of others lives.
The implications of what might happen hit him with a jolt. What if the Dark Lord found him? He can't survive the double life he lived until then. He used to have a task, which was his driving force to carry on with his life. But now, with nothing to guide him through this troubled life, he thought of the only thing that could keep him sane.
His wand lay only a few feet away from him. He gathered what's left of his strength into his fingers and summoned it. Shutting off all the hoarse cries that were suffocating him, he thought of the place that could bring him an ounce of peace and disapparated.
Severus knew he had been splinched in various places, but he didn't care. This was the only place in the world that could bring him some salvation. His legs couldn't carry him and the old tree looked far away. With determination guiding him, he crawled and dragged his body through the grass, all the while remembering her beautiful laughter and the unconditional love behind her emerald gaze.
Finally, Severus reached the tree where he first conversed with Lily. He remembered his afternoons as a little boy where he used to sneak around the park where the two girls played. Nothing has changed in the park, except for a negligent growth of grass. It was a dreary sight but Severus wanted to be in no other place. This was his sanctum that still held the purity of their relationship. Under this very tree is where they spent their childhood, talking about magic and Hogwarts.
Sobs escaped his mouth as he broke down at the foot of the tree. "I'm sorry, Lily. I sent him to his death. I couldn't save your boy. I broke my promise. I couldn't save Harry Potter."
His loud sobs echoed into the night. He cried his heart out, trying to push the guilt in the form of tears. He lied there in the night awaiting his death, apologizing to that one person he loved the most in his life.
A myriad of painful images passed through his blurred vision and Severus Snape gasped shooting up from his lying position.
"Are you alright?" Her tentative voice reached his ears. There was a gentle brush of her fingers on his shoulder, nudging him to lie back. He found himself agreeing to it as his back met the flat surface of the something soft. Severus tried to open his eyes, but they didn't cooperate. Was it Lily? Would he finally get to meet her? He tried to turn his head towards the direction of the voice but a sharp pain shot through his neck and he winced.
"It's going to be okay," she said again, as his fingers reached the jarring aberration on his neck. "The poison was too strong. No matter whatever magical means we tried, the wounds would just open up after a while."
Severus let out a dejected sigh. He'd lost again. He wanted to embrace the death so badly, but he was thrust into this world again.
"Madame Pomfrey and I are trying a muggle technique that'll keep the skin together until the potion acts. Mr. Weasley was attacked in a similar way back then and these stitches worked like magic." Her voice sounded again and Severus struggled to push the dizziness that started to waft over his senses. "Oh, no! Professor, please stay with us. I should call Madame Pomfrey."
Severus' eyes shot open at the word Professor and he knew it wasn't Lily. He found himself looking at the worried amber eyes of Hermione Granger, the person responsible for this pathetic situation.
"No," he finally managed to get the word out. As the light rays managed to push through her bushy mane and her face came into view, he flinched.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll move the candles to someplace far."
The light was more manageable this time and Severus roved his eyes to take in the surroundings. Recognition hit him as he was greeted by the familiar sight of the hospital wing at Hogwarts. How did he come here? Last he remembered he was in the park near his childhood home. Confused about what was happening around him, he fidgeted under the heat of the blankets that were draped over him. Didn't Harry Potter die and the Dark Lord win? If that had happened, wouldn't Hogwarts be under his control? And if Hogwarts was under the Dark Lord's rule, what was a muggle born like Hermione Granger doing here? And who the hell dragged him back to Hogwarts? An infinite number of questions were swirling in his brain making Severus wince as a sharp pain shot through his skull.
"Do you need something, Professor?" Her eyes were filled with concern.
Snape tried his best to give a sneer but all he could manage was a harsh grunt. What is she so happy about? Wasn't she supposed to be crying?
"Harry was so worried." Her voice was getting unusually high. "He's going to be extremely happy seeing you like this."
Severus tried to tune out her exuberance. But his mind couldn't get past her words. Potter was worried. Only living people can worry and that meant Potter's alive.
He forgot everything and shot upon his bed. "What did you say?" He didn't know where he got all his strength.
"Ah! Severus, you're awake." Madame Pomfrey's voice interrupted them as she strode in with an unusually calm face. "Now if you just take this potion you'll be back to teaching your favorite subject in no time."
"Madame Pomfrey? Shouldn't we wait until he stabilizes." Hermione supplied biting her lip, eyeing the steaming liquid in her hand. "He just regained his consciousness. Besides, we don't know how far the venom had traveled." She tentatively reached her fingers to trail on his neck making Severus jerk his head away from her touch.
"Stop acting like a petulant child, Severus. Mr. Potter and Ms. Granger haven't left your side since you were brought in that awful condition. My potions did what they have to do but you wouldn't have been nurtured into this state of health without Ms. Granger's care." Madame Pomfrey spoke in a stern voice making Severus feel like an eleven yr old. "Now, Ms. Granger, I'm quite aware of Severus' situation and your concerns are well placed. However, I assure you this is an advanced potion developed by Severus himself that doesn't require any of the prerequisites you mentioned. Now if you could assist me in holding the professor's head, I can pour it down his throat."
Severus tried to object but the sharp glare from the medi-witch forced Severus to amend himself to Hermione Granger's actions, as she took his head and placed it on her lap. The strong scent of the potion coming from the potion made his eyes snap shut.
"Now lay back and don't step out of the bed until I give you permission." Madame Pomfrey vanished out of the room as quickly as she came.
"If you kindly please…" Severus grunted as Hermione still held his head in her lap.
"I'm so sorry," she gently transferred him to the bed and moved to stand beside the bed. "Harry was so worried about you."
"So, Potter managed to stay alive?" He needed answers. As much as he hated to stay in her company, she was the only one who could give him the answers he needed.
"Yes, Professor. He's alive. Voldemort's been destroyed."
Snape closed his eyes trying to process the things she was telling.
"It is only because of you Harry was able to defeat Voldemort. Even when you weren't around, you made sure Harry won this war. With your memories you guided him. Harry knew what had to be done. Although, I would've wished he hadn't gone into the forest alone, but he's alive and safe. What more could we want?" She said brushing her tears that were flowing continuously. Severus' gaze froze in its place looking at the unimpeded emotions on her face. She turned her beaming eyes to him and continued. "Harry and I came running back to the place where we left you. But you were gone."
"I didn't know I have to wait for orders from Precious Potter."
She flinched at his tone and took a step back. "Harry and I rushed to the Shrieking shack immediately after Voldemort was destroyed. But you were gone. We searched everywhere but we couldn't find you. But Harry knew. He said he knew where to look. It didn't take us long to get to Harry's mother's childhood home. Amidst the trees in that small deserted park, we found you. Completely dead to the world, clutching a few strands of grass in your hands. We thought we might have you lost you forever."
Severus took a sharp breath and averted his gaze. Harry Potter survived. Lily's boy was saved. He wanted to let out a relieved sigh as his promise to Lily was fulfilled. But slowly implications of that revelation started to surface. He wasn't Lily's boy anymore, he was James Potter's son. He was the son of a bully who tortured him all throughout his school years. And now his brat knows everything about Severus and he couldn't bear the thought of his pity. It's bad enough he had to suffer the pain of being rescued by his arrogant father once and now he had to bear the guilt of being protected by the chosen one and his sidekick, all thanks to the obnoxious girl in front of him. His content at finding Lily's son, transformed into a sneer knowing that he had to live his rest of life with Potter's son knowing all his secrets.
"He was with you the whole time. Madame Pomfrey said she couldn't give any promises," she turned her sparkling eyes to him. "But Harry believed you would come back to us."
Severus grunted leaning back into his bed. This is turning out to be an abhorrent situation. The prospect of facing him made his insides churn.
"You not only saved Harry but helped us destroy Voldemort once and for all. Thank you so much, Professor." Her incessant chatter was giving him a headache.
Severus managed to give out a small imperceptible nod and Hermione beamed at his response.
He turned his face away unable to bear her words. Her presence in that room and standing so close to her brought the gnawing worm of his brain to upfront. She was responsible for this life and he hated her for that. If not her irritating meddling, he would've passed on. Be rid of this cursed life forever.
"I'll get Harry," she asked moving towards the door of the Hogwarts' infirmary. "He had been waiting desperately for this moment."
"No." His sharp voice made her stall. "Not Potter." After giving his deeply buried secrets regarding his feelings towards Lily, he can't face that boy now. He's not ready to accept the sympathy he would see in the eyes of Potter's spawn. He needed a way to stay away from him, from all of them, including that one person who had pulled him back into this accursed world. And there was only one way to achieve that.
"What happened to Draco Malfoy?" he said without looking at her.
"He's alive. All the Malfoys are."
He nodded his head. "There is no need to inform Potter about me. I would much appreciate if you could bring Draco here."
"But Professor, Harry…," she trailed off.
"Do what I say, Ms. Granger. At least for once shut that obnoxious brain of yours off and try listening to your teachers." He managed his vicious sneer this time.
He couldn't deny a small sense of satisfaction that stretched across his heart seeing her shocked face. Yes, Malfoys are the only people who could keep these bloody Gryffindors away from him.
Severus Snape couldn't have been more wrong.
