Sixteen Ways to Annoy the Hobbits:

1: Call them adorable every time you see them.

2: Constantly ruffle their hair the way Boromir does.

3: Dish out regular sized weapons to everyone, and when it comes round to them, look them up and down and then at the weapon, and move on apologetically.

4: Insult ale.

5: Insult pipeweed.

6: Say it will do them good to miss out their second breakfast, as they are all too portly anyway.

7: Call Frodo 'Bessie Blue-Eyes'.

8: Call Sam 'Gingie'.

9: Call Pippin 'Fool of a Took!' all the time, specifically when Gandalf is not around.

10: Whenever you see Merry, start jigging around and singing with a huge smile on your face.

11: Particularly if you are Legolas, flaunt your perfect straight hair and mock them because theirs will always be curly.

12: Whenever they pass, start singing 'Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go…'

13: Constantly pester Frodo about why he wears the Ring on a chain around his neck.

14: Talk about how wonderful pointed ears are and then say how much better they look on Elves because they're so tall, slim and elegant.

15: Tell them to stop being so lazy all the time by getting piggy-backs off everyone; if they come to you for one, comply for a while before bucking, throwing them off and telling them to walk.

16: Always remind Frodo that it wasn't technically him that destroyed the Ring in the first place.


I will be progressing through these, starting with the first one today, but I will not be updating for a week or so because I am on holiday. Like it? Please review! :)