Sixteen Ways to Annoy the Hobbits:
1: Call them adorable every time you see them.
2: Constantly ruffle their hair the way Boromir does.
3: Dish out regular sized weapons to everyone, and when it comes round to them, look them up and down and then at the weapon, and move on apologetically.
4: Insult ale.
5: Insult pipeweed.
6: Say it will do them good to miss out their second breakfast, as they are all too portly anyway.
7: Call Frodo 'Bessie Blue-Eyes'.
8: Call Sam 'Gingie'.
9: Call Pippin 'Fool of a Took!' all the time, specifically when Gandalf is not around.
10: Whenever you see Merry, start jigging around and singing with a huge smile on your face.
11: Particularly if you are Legolas, flaunt your perfect straight hair and mock them because theirs will always be curly.
12: Whenever they pass, start singing 'Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go…'
13: Constantly pester Frodo about why he wears the Ring on a chain around his neck.
14: Talk about how wonderful pointed ears are and then say how much better they look on Elves because they're so tall, slim and elegant.
15: Tell them to stop being so lazy all the time by getting piggy-backs off everyone; if they come to you for one, comply for a while before bucking, throwing them off and telling them to walk.
16: Always remind Frodo that it wasn't technically him that destroyed the Ring in the first place.
I will be progressing through these, starting with the first one today, but I will not be updating for a week or so because I am on holiday. Like it? Please review! :)
