Disclaimer: This fic belongs to Sakura-Angel. FFVII belongs to Squenix, a group of people who are, in case you didn't notice, NOT Sakura-Angel.

Sakura-Angel: Okay, so I guess this one manifested from a song I was listening to. After listening to it about five times in a row, I thought 'Hey Tifa!' and yeah, that's how this happened.

Smile


An easily recognizable brunette made her way through the streets of Midgar, her long hair flowing behind her as she walked the sidewalks littered with snowflakes that refused to melt.

She was in Midgar because she needed some time away from him.

Yes, him.

She remembered that night as if it had happened mere moments ago. They sat on the couch in her residence, sipping cocoa by the fireplace, one of those perfectly romantic moments to share with your lover.

But they weren't lovers.

She locked eyes with him, expecting that heady feeling she got whenever she saw that ethereal combination of oceans, skies and rain.

It came. But she had learned to not let it show.

She read his eyes so easily, she could see he wasn't in love with her, he wasn't in love with anyone. It seemed that maybe he wasn't at that point in his life. He wasn't falling over himself to see her, or the flowergirl's memorial, or anyone else.

He read her eyes too. She was like that, open about everything. He could tell she was trying to hide that little swoon, but her eyes told him she felt something for him.

But he didn't feel... ready. He didn't feel like getting into a relationship with someone so selfless and loving because he was afraid he wouldn't be enough for her, that maybe all the love being directed at him left her none for herself, and he'd be too weak or cowardly to give her some back.

He told her with his sorrowful eyes and sagging of his body that he didn't love her, that he was too withdrawn to suddenly come out.

So she left.

She told him so, right to his sad, hollow eyes that she had to leave for awhile and that she'd come back, if he was ready.

She walked the streets in her long coat and heeled boots, lights from shop displays temporarily highlighting her form again and again.

She stopped by a familiar white door and pulled it open, to be greeted by warm mingling smells of coffee and chocolate, and the usual chorus of voices.

"Tifa!"

"Hey girl!"

"Hey, it's Lockheart!"

A young waitress walked up to her with the familiarity of a friend. "Hey Teef! I'm so glad you came - these guys have been driving me nuts!" She grinned amiably.

Tifa laughed lightly and asked, "Lynn, what do you mean?"

The redheaded waitress led Tifa over to her usual table and tossed a eyebrow raise her way. "What do you mean what do I mean? They've been asking 'Where's Tifa?' 'I wanna hear something decent for a change, get Tifa up there please?' all night."

Tifa settled comfortably in her seat. "You're just making that up, aren't you?"

"Why would I?"

Tifa closed her eyes a little embarassedly and shrugged off her coat. "I'm not that good."

Lynn scoffed and turned on her heel to get Tifa's usual, she knew Tifa always asked for her usual, and gave a cute little flip of her hair. "Only you think that, Tifa," she walked away, but her voice drifted back to Tifa's ears. "Now get up there before people start attacking me!"

Tifa smiled at the waitress' comment and contemplated what song to sing.

A member of the band that played the little café sauntered up and pulled out the other chair at Tifa's table. "So, you singing tonight?"

"Yeah," she replied easily, a song in mind already.

"Cool, go get up there, a few people asked for you," he pulled her up from her chair and pushed her in the direction of the area cleared for people brave enough to sing.

"Hey, I'm going, I'm going!" She weaved through the chairs and tables with the musician, Kael was his name, she remembered now, at her back. Soon enough, she stood directly in front of the microphone.

Kael leaned past Tifa and grabbed the microphone stand. "Hey everybody, the infamous Tifa Lockheart's here to sing something for you tonight!"

Tifa blushed a little angrily at Kael as the people in the café clapped.

The musician let go of the microphone and it tilted dangerously before Tifa halted it's descent to the floor with her quick reflexes.

He whispered in Tifa's ear unexpectedly, "Whadda you got planned?"

She flinched a little at his voice, but whispered back the name of a relatively easy song to play for.

"Nah, you don't want that," Kael whispered back, his stubbornly cute attitude shining through, and he swung away from her and signalled something to the band.

Tifa grew a little worried, but even more so when the opening chords of a recent hit played over the speakers. Not her song. 'Oh gods...' Kael was lucky that she knew this song, otherwise he'd endure some perfectly placed kicks to the shins. She let out a sigh and started tapping her foot to the rhythm.

Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be
If he had loved me
Truly loved me
I learned awhile ago
That kind of thing never happens for me

And so I go around and just pretend
Love is not for me
I play the circus clown for all my friends
Make 'em laugh and they won't see
That you never let 'em see you sweat
Don't want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my makeup
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I'm laughing 'cause no one
knows the joke is on me
'Cause I'm dying inside with my pride
And a smile on my face


She segued into a bunch of melodical 'la-la's and continued.

Sometimes I sit at home by the phone
Hoping he might call me
But he don't call me
But then I realize
Dreams come true aren't for girls like me
And so I go around with my head up
Like it ain't no thing
And when the boys are out with all my friends
I'm into other things
'Cause you never let 'em see you sweat
Don't want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

And so I put on my makeup
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I'm laughing 'cause no one
knows the joke is on me
'Cause I'm dying inside with my pride
And a smile on my face

It's not that easy
Sometimes it's hard to face the truth
It's not the life that I would choose
But what else can I do?
If he don't love me
If he don't want me
I'm not about to sit around and let myself
Go...

And so I put on my makeup
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I'm laughing 'cause no one
knows the joke is on me
'Cause I'm dying inside with my pride
And a smile on my face

I'll keep singing...


The music gave away to clapping.

Tifa smiled modestly and opted for dipping her head over bowing. Her eyes were bright as she made her way back to her table.

She stopped midstride when her table came into view. Someone all too familiar sat in spot across from hers.

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Sakura-Angel: Okay, so it's not my best work. And that's why I'm contemplating if I should continue or not and make this a double drabble. Hmm.