A Renzoo fic. Rated M for Reno's language and themes rather than anything too explicit cause I'm not good at that stuff – but I'm trying to improve XD. Male/male relationship – don't like, don't read.
Disclaimers – The characters are all owned by Square Enix, not me. I just like playing with them…
Too Like the Lightning
Hello, Beautiful
For three days the prisoner had hardly moved. He sat on one end of the steel bunk, back against the concrete wall, arms around his drawn-up knees, head down. His face was screened by the soft fall of pale hair, which gleamed blue-silver like moonlight beneath the harsh bulbs in the cell. He refused to eat or drink anything except a few sips of water, so each morning the guards came and inserted a drip into his arm, delivering saline and nutrients directly into a vein. He did not struggle or protest, only kept his head down. Sometimes, the guards said, he seemed to be crying, but he did it silently. He resisted all interrogation – questioning, beatings, electrodes – all the usual techniques drew a blank. He screamed and cried when they hurt him, as everyone did, but he never said a coherent word – not even to beg them to stop. At last an exasperated Tseng sent for Reno. The red-haired Turk stood in Tseng's office, casual as ever, shirt open at the neck, tie – missing in action, Tseng supposed.
"I want you to take over the interrogation of Yazoo personally," Tseng informed his second in command. Reno's face fell. "Oh man! You know I hate interrogations!"
"We all hate interrogations – I don't employ sadists and psychopaths. But someone has to do it, and according to your psych-profile you're the most suitable in this case. We need to know two things –"
"I know, I know. How he's back, and why he's back."
"Right."
Reno walked into the cell. Yazoo didn't move. The Turk looked at him, without pity. "I need two pieces of information from you," he said, "And we're not going to stop until I have them." At the sound of his voice the remnant, Yazoo, raised his head slowly. There was a deep cut above his right eye, blood in his long hair and his mouth was bruised, but despite the injuries he was still possessed of a demonic beauty. "I remember you," he whispered, with a little smile. "I trashed your helicopter with my bike! Hello, beautiful."
"What the?" Reno was taken aback by the epithet, but soon recovered himself. "One," he said, "I need to know how you've come back. Two, I need to know why."
"I don't know why I've been sent back," said Yazoo, his voice very low. "I don't know the mechanism for re-animating me – all I know is it felt as if I were being thrown out of the Life-stream while my mother and bothers were still there. I didn't want to come. It hurts out here." His bruised mouth trembled and two tears slid down his pale cheeks. "I want to go back. It feels as though – as though there's something I'm supposed to do, but I don't know what it is. It feels as though there's something I can change, or… something that can change me. I don't have any plan. I told the others nothing, because I wasn't really awake properly – and…Why do I want to talk to you? I don't know why. But when I was here before – we fought, and you…You saw me. As if I were real. You tried to kill me, but I forgive you. Perhaps I'm here so that you can forgive me?" Yazoo's emerald eyes were wide, glowing with sincerity. Reno looked into them, and suddenly felt very strange. Yazoo asked, "Do you have to hurt me again, now I've answered your questions? It hurts a lot. I don't like it."
"You had no problem hurting Tseng and Elena!"
"Not me. Kadaj. I don't want to hurt people. I…was glad when the dark one in the red cloak took them from us. Kadaj wanted to kill them."
"You shot Cloud. In the back."
"He killed Kadaj. I thought…we'd all be together. He is our brother too – but they sent him back. And I saved your life, sweetheart."
"Quit callin' me stuff like that! And when did you save my life?"
"In the helicopter. I was going to shoot you in the head – and then I saw it was you, and shot out the controls instead."
"And you call that saving my life? The fucking cyclic came off in my hands! We hit the deck – hard!"
"But you survived. I thought you were low enough to survive." Yazoo shrugged. "Anyway – it was quite a chase, wasn't it? You flying the helicopter through that tunnel - that bridge collapsing! The speed! Then you blew us up…"
"Nearly blew ourselves up as well, yo!"
"Yes." Yazoo smiled. Reno almost found himself smiling too, then remembered what he was supposed to be doing. He frowned, instead, and said, "It's not a game!"
"But of course it's a game." Yazoo looked at Reno, and again the Turk found himself caught by those strange, vivid eyes. Yazoo said softly, "I never knew – what's your name, beautiful?"
"Will you cut that out!"
"Does it bother you?"
"I'm not that way inclined. And anyway, you're a prisoner."
"I can't help it. It's…what I do. It's a trait of Sephiroth's. Kadaj had all his cunning, Loz had his strength and I have the part that drew people to him."
"Well it won't work on me."
"I expect that's why they sent you. But it's not as though being attracted to me would make you attracted to men in general. I'm...not exactly…human."
"Oh, well that's fine then!" exclaimed Reno, with heavy sarcasm. Yazoo sighed. "It's such a shame. I would give you whatever you wanted. I wish you would tell me your name."
"You know I'm not going to do that."
"Ah." Yazoo looked so sad that Reno actually felt sorry for him for a moment. He looked so pale and slight and vulnerable – lost and very young. Reno said, "You're only a boy."
"No!" Yazoo's eyes shone with an ethereal green light. "I am of the Lifestream. This body is just an outward form. In this incarnation I suppose I was born a few months ago. In this re-animation I'm only a few days old. But I am, in one way, as old as Sephiroth, and in another, as old as the planet itself. I would like you to forgive me. But if that's not possible, then kill me, please! Send me back to the Lifestream where I belong." His eyes filled with tears again. "Although perhaps it will just send me straight back."
"You want to die?"
"I don't want any more pain. I want to go home." Reno found himself fighting an urge to put his arms around the fragile creature; to tell him it would be all right. He had a sudden lucid mental image of himself stroking that long, smoky hair – kissing the bruised skin of Yazoo's pale face. "Fuck!" he thought. "What's up with that? What the fuck's he doin' to me, yo?" As harshly as he could manage, he said, "I'm going to report. No more pain – for now. Until we decide whether to believe you or not." Yazoo bowed his head gracefully and whispered, "Thank you." Reno left the cell, and went to report to Tseng. He explained everything Yazoo had said, not leaving out the 'beautiful' and the 'sweetheart', and then added, "It's weird, yo. I felt sorry for the son of a bitch. I felt – ah – I can't explain it!"
"You felt attracted to him?" Tseng studied Reno's face, but the red-headed Turk did not appear embarrassed – rather, he seemed puzzled. "Kinda," he admitted at last. But you know me, right, boss? I like girls, yo! I mean, what ever floats your boat, but, hey – that's just not my thing. It's like he was messing with my head. You think it's magic, or something?"
"Well, he told you he was the incarnation of Sephiroth's seductive side. Evil can be seductive, I suppose. We chose you because the psych profiles said you were likely to be the least susceptible to him. Elena was in there two minutes and said she'd have no chance with him. I found myself drawn to him. Even Rude…But the question is, do you believe him? Is he really so uncertain about why he's here, do you think?" Reno pushed back his spiky red hair, and said, "Honestly, Sir, I don't know. He seemed sincere, but then my brain does weird things around him, so who knows? Sorry, boss, that's not very helpful." Tseng shook his head. "No, Reno, but it's honest. That's what I need from you. I think we should take him at his word, and return him to the Lifestream." Reno's heart skipped a beat. He said, "But he told me he'd most likely be sent straight back."
"Well, if he is, that will confirm part of his story, at least."
"But –" Reno was appalled at his body's reaction to the thought of Yazoo being executed. He felt sick, shaky, close to tears. Ah shit, this was no good! He nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said. "I agree."
"Good," said Tseng. "All right, Reno. Do it straight away."
Oh no, no, no.
Reno asked desperately, "Me, boss?"
"Who else? I know you're strong enough."
"Right." Reno straightened up and took a breath. He felt disorientated. "I…uh…haven't got a gun here…" Tseng reached beneath his jacket and handed Reno one of his long, black pistols. "Take this." Reno looked at the weapon in his hand. "Okay." He turned and walked back towards the elevator.
When he reached the cell, one of the guards told him that Yazoo seemed to be sleeping for the first time in three days. Reno thought, "Perhaps it's better like this." He walked over to the bunk and looked down at Yazoo. Long dark lashes were closed on pale cheeks. There was a strand of silver hair across his face, and Reno had to resist the urge to brush it aside. He angled the gun, point blank, almost touching Yazoo's temple. How many hits over the years? Don't think. Aim. Shoot. Reno's hand shook. Yazoo opened his eyes and half sat up. He smiled sleepily, seeming unconcerned about the gun. "Hello, beautiful. They said I have to die?"
Reno nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Yazoo smiled. "I'm going home, then." He reached up and touched Reno's left cheekbone, where the red tattoo curved like a claw mark. "Won't you tell me your name now?" he asked, simply. Reno tried to speak; cleared his throat. "R – Reno," he managed. Yazoo sighed and closed his eyes as though Reno had just told him something miraculous. "I'm glad it's you," he murmured. He opened his green eyes again, and smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Reno," he said. Reno lifted the gun, but his vision blurred. "I can't…"
"You can." Yazoo put his warm hand over Reno's icy one, guided the pistol to his own head, and said, "Now!" Reno pulled the trigger, dropped the gun, and sank down on the floor beside the bunk, holding his head in his hands. He could not look at what the bullet had done to Yazoo's perfect face, but he didn't have to, because already the body was disintegrating, vanishing into the Lifestream in glittering fragments. At last Reno wiped his eyes angrily and stood up. Right. Over, yo! Back to normal life. Tonight he'd call Rude, go out to a club, find a pretty girl. Normal. Reno picked up the gun, and went to report to Tseng.
"It's done."
"Good work, Reno." Tseng took back the gun, and said, "Have tomorrow off. Go out tonight, yes?"
"Yeah. That's what I figured on doin'. 'Kay, yo." Even to his own ears the cheery tone sounded fake.
When Reno had left the office, Tseng flipped open his laptop and reviewed the footage from the prison cell security cameras. Something very like jealousy twisted inside him when he watched Yazoo smiling at Reno, touching his face. When the gun went off, Tseng gasped, horrified. He analyzed his body's responses with as much detachment as he could muster, astonished by the sympathy Yazoo had provoked in him. "You did it, Reno," Tseng muttered to himself. "He had to help you, but you did it. It's more than I could have done." He sighed and shook his head thoughtfully. "Gaia help us if he does come back!" Tseng took his phone from his pocket and called Rude.
"Hello – Tseng. Yes. Listen, Reno's eliminated the remnant problem for us, but it wasn't easy, for the reasons we discussed at the meeting. Take him out tonight, let him get as drunk as he wants, make sure he doesn't go home alone. Yes – either make sure he leaves with a girl, or take him back to yours, and keep an eye on him… I know, but it's better to be safe than…All right. Thank you Rude."
But the next morning Reno did wake up alone, and without any trace of a hangover. He remembered the club Rude had dragged him to, the impressively built blonde who had been so friendly, the way the drinks had tasted flat. He remembered making his excuses and leaving, in spite of the girl's obvious interest and overt offers. Rude had walked home with him, but Reno had insisted on being left alone. "Look, partner, I know you're trying to look after me, man, but I'm fine, yo! I just need some head-space, 'kay?" In the end Rude had accepted Reno's words, and left. Reno had finally slept, but his dreams had all been of Yazoo and pulling the trigger. He woke up with tears on his face, at five in the morning. Tseng had told him to take the day off, but he found it was the last thing he wanted. He got up, showered, dressed in his usual pared-down version of the Turks' uniform, reached for a cigarette and discovered that he didn't want one. "This is so fucked up," he thought. "I need to get into the office, do some boring reports, get that – creature? Remnant? - " Reno felt his heart soften. "Yazoo," he thought. "I have to get Yazoo out of my head." Then he tried thinking it more aggressively. "I have to get Yazoo out of my head! For fuck's sake – he called me sweetheart! He called me beautiful." But he couldn't hold on to the anger. Whenever he thought of Yazoo his resolve went to pieces. "He called me beautiful." Reno found himself smiling sadly at the memory.
As soon as it was properly light, Reno set off for work. The streets were more or less deserted at this time in the morning, but a few blocks short of the Shin-Ra building Reno saw a slight figure sitting on the ground dejectedly. The young man wore dark jeans, combat boots and a soft grey hooded top. As Reno drew closer his skin began to prickle with a sensation like the electric charge before a lightning strike. He knew, even before the figure put back the hood and looked at him out of those catlike green eyes. He stopped and knelt down on the paving stones. "Yazoo?" The silver-haired remnant smiled calmly.
"Hello, Reno. It sent me back."
"I'm… glad it did." Reno was astonished by how true that was.
"So am I. It's strange – I thought I wanted to go home, but it's different now." Alarm suddenly flashed across the remnant's beautiful face. "You're not going to take me back to Shin-Ra are you? I don't want to go back there."
"No. Never. But I'm not sure where we can go. I'm damn sure they've still got surveillance at my place. I destroyed some bugs – put in a jamming device, but I've never found any cameras. Can't go there. We have to get away from here, for a start." Reno glanced around nervously, checking the positions of the street cameras. None seemed to be pointing along this side-street. He thought quickly. "'Kay – listen. We need to get to old Midgar – Sector Five. Minimal surveillance out there. We'll have to take the train – separately." He replaced Yazoo's hood, which brought him close. Yazoo smiled at him, and Reno barely resisted the urge to kiss him. He said, "Ah, Yaz, don't do that to me, yo."
"What?" The remnant's eyes were confused, worried. "I'm not doing anything, Reno."
"You're really not, are you? You just can't help it."
"No. It's…Sephiroth." Yazoo's sudden smile lit up his face again. "Reno, I like it when you call me Yaz."
"Quit flirting! Look, I don't even know why I'm doing this. I should take you in to Shin-Ra, but I just can't. Keep your hood up. Don't talk to anyone. You have any money?" Yazoo shook his head. Reno took some Gs out of his wallet, hoping that he was right about those security cameras. "Go to the station, past the fountain over there and right at the next corner. Buy a single ticket to Sector Five. Get on the train when it comes and when you reach Sector Five wait on the platform. Buy food if you want, but don't get into conversation with anyone. Can you do that?" Yazoo giggled. "Sweet Reno! I may have been born yesterday, but I wasn't born yesterday! I can take a train."
"Okay, sorry. Just…"
"Yes?"
"Try not to seduce anyone on the way, all right? Keep out of trouble." Yazoo laughed softly. "I promise, Reno. I'll be good. When will you come? Do you have to go to work?"
"No. I've got the day off. I'll have to go home and change out of this uniform, but then I'll be on the next train."
Reno stepped off the train and scanned the platform anxiously, his heart flipping when he caught sight of Yazoo leaning casually against a wall drinking coffee out of a Styrofoam cup, his hood up as instructed. Reno glanced around, checking for cameras, and began to walk towards him when a tall, bearded man of about fifty approached Yazoo with a look on his face that had taught Reno to run when he'd been an adolescent on the streets of the slums. Reno tensed, paused, tried not to let the surge of hate he felt lead him into doing something stupid and attention-grabbing. He watched as the man spoke to Yazoo, who shook his head quickly. The older man took out a wallet and said something else. Reno expected Yazoo to look panicked, to need rescuing, but instead the remnant's face assumed an icy, arrogant expression that Reno hoped never to see directed at him. He recognised it though. It was pure Sephiroth. Yazoo said something, and the older man backed away, his face twisted with anger and fear. Reno walked past him and murmured, "That's right – walk away. And if you ever go near him again, I'll fucking kill you."
"Okay, okay, I get it!" the man muttered. "Your boyfriend can look after himself."
"What? He's not my –" Reno began, ruining the effect of his threat, but at that moment Yazoo saw him, and shot him a dazzling smile. "Hello beautiful!" Reno sighed. "Don't call me that," he sighed, half-heartedly. "Was that bastard bothering you?"
"Don't worry. I can take care of myself. You know – you've gone up against me. I can fight."
"Yeah, I remember." Reno winced at the memory of Yazoo kicking him half way across Edge's central plaza. Yazoo smiled sympathetically. "Sorry. But you kicked me in the head, as I recall. You were quite impressive, actually."
"Oh, thanks," Reno responded dryly. "C'mon. We need to find an ATM and a place for you to stay."
"We do?"
"Yeah, because I'm gonna tell the boss that I spent today shopping and drinking in a bar I know near the market. We need to find somewhere to rent that can't be traced. What can I buy that doesn't cost much but looks expensive? I have to justify taking out all the cash we're gonna need."
"You think Shin-Ra monitors your finances?"
"Shin-Ra monitors every damn thing, yo."
"Oh. That's…not good." Yazoo's face suddenly lit up. "Hey, I know!" He unfastened an earring from his left ear and handed it to Reno. "Have this." Reno looked at the glittering earring. "This looks like a diamond."
"It is. The Lifestream kind of sends you back into the world as you want to be. I wanted to look normal this time, so I copied the clothes of some guy I saw in Edge before Shin-Ra security took me in last time."
"This looks like a very expensive diamond."
"I guess," Yazoo shrugged. "Swap it for yours? I like yours."
"Okay." Reno took out the silver hoop he always wore and put in the diamond stud. Yazoo smiled, fastening Reno's earring in his own ear, and asked, "Does this mean we're going steady?"
"Ah – stop it!" But Yazoo's constant flirting didn't really bother Reno anymore. He was starting to get used to it.
When they found a bank with an ATM, Reno took out the maximum Gs allowed on three different cards, telling Yazoo to wait around the corner so that he wouldn't be caught on the bank's security cameras. After that Reno went to a bar, and Yazoo went to find a place to rent, with Reno's money. They met three hours later in a side street not far from the market. Reno had drunk enough to make his story about spending most of the day in a bar convincing if anyone checked up on him, and he seemed to be having a little trouble focussing as Yazoo told him about the apartment he'd found. "It's along here," the remnant said, leading the way into a side alley. "Hmm. Nice neighbourhood," Reno commented, looking around warily. Yazoo shrugged. "It's cheap. The landlord wasn't asking questions. It has its own entrance. Everything you said I'd need."
"Good. Good." Reno's mind seemed to be on something else. "I called Rude at work. From the bar. Told him I was going shopping. They can trace the call to the bar, so that's fine. I took the earring out, so I can say I bought it this afternoon, so that's fine. No cameras here. Phone hidden in the bar – I'll get it later. Okay – we're good to go." Yazoo looked over his shoulder. "You're making me nervous."
"You need to be. If they find you – if they know I helped you…" Reno shook his head. "Why am I doing this, man?" Yazoo stopped at a brown-brick building with an iron fire-escape zigzagging up the wall. He ran lightly up the steps to the third floor – the top – and opened a heavy steel door. Reno followed him inside, and Yazoo locked the door behind them. "Home, sweet home!" the remnant said, gesturing to the dingy apartment. A small sitting room containing two faded brown couches, a wonky standard lamp and an ancient television had been made even smaller by the addition of a row of kitchen units, a loudly humming fridge-freezer, a sink and a cooker. Two doors led off the main room. "Bedroom on the left – lovely view over the alley. Bathroom on the right – ditto over another alley," Yazoo announced. "Not overlooked – like you said. Everything seems to work." Reno looked around. It was depressingly similar to the apartment he'd grown up in. If Tseng found out about Yazoo, he'd be back living somewhere like this. If he was living at all. Unconsciously he made a helpless gesture with his left hand, and Yazoo saw it at once. "Reno?" The remnant's voice was sharp with fear. "Don't give me up to them. I need a chance. I need to work out why I've been sent here. If you give me to them, they'll either kill me again, or…"
"If they find out I've been helping you, they'll probably kill me," Reno pointed out. "Trouble is, the Lifestream won't send me back, yo." Yazoo's green eyes were very wide. "You think they'd kill you? After all you've done for them?" Reno nodded. "They don't stand for betrayal. Hell, I've killed people for less, on their orders."
"Oh. I never thought…" Yazoo looked suddenly older - more serious. He stood in the centre of the room, the low roof of the apartment emphasising his height. He put back the hood of his top, and freed his long hair with a careless, automatic movement. He turned to Reno, and the Turk found himself looking up into Yazoo's unearthly green eyes. "It's all right," Reno heard himself saying. "I want to help." Yazoo nodded. "I know." He touched Reno's cheek gently, and then kissed him. Reno felt that everything was falling away from him as his familiar world dissolved, leaving only Yazoo and himself and sweet, deep kisses. When Yazoo pulled away, gently, Reno gasped with the pain of the loss. "You see," said Yazoo quietly, "I didn't realise how selfish I was being. Of course you want to help me; I can make anyone want to do anything for me. That is Sephiroth's legacy. But Sephiroth, I think, is no longer a moral entity, and I am. Thank you for all you've done for me. I'll be all right now. I'll live here until I work out why I've been sent back. You – go back to your life." Reno shook his head. "No! Yaz, I want to help you. I don't want to leave you here…"
"I know. But it's only Sephiroth's power that's holding you. If you knew me without the glamour of that…I'm nothing. I can't allow you to risk your life for me. All that – flirting. The childishness. I shouldn't have done that." His smile was as compelling as ever. "Although – you are beautiful. I do wish things could be different…" Yazoo seized Reno's wrists suddenly and pulled him into a passionate embrace. This time his kiss was fierce and hard and irresistible. Reno could do nothing but kiss him back – he had no coherent thoughts, only sensation and the most intense desire he had ever known. As suddenly as it had started it was over. Yazoo flung Reno away from him and cried, "Leave! Go while you can! This isn't me – it isn't only me!"
"B – but I love –"
"No you don't! You don't know what you're saying. Reno, please, go back to your life, your work. Please! I can't control…I can't help it…"
"I'll help you. Together we can –"
"No! You don't understand. Can you defeat Sephiroth? Can you resist Sephiroth?"
"No." Reno was staring at Yazoo, his green eyes wide with shock. "Yaz, you're not Sephiroth. That was Kadaj. Sephiroth is dead."
"So was I. I don't know what I am, Reno. But I'm scared. Scared for myself, and for you. Go. At least for now. Go back to the bar, get your phone, stick to the plan. Go to the market later, then get the train home. Go to work tomorrow as normal. You'll be okay, then."
"But what about you?"
"I'll be all right as long as I know you're safe."
"Promise me you'll find me if you need me."
"I promise, Reno." Yazoo smiled, painfully. "Now go, while I'm still myself."
"Okay. But - I will see you again?"
"Yes, Reno. Goodbye, beautiful." Yazoo gently steered Reno through the door, and locked it behind him. Then he sank down onto one of the battered couches and wept. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked. In his head, a familiar, cool voice replied, "You're wrong about me, avatar. I am once again a moral entity. You shouldn't be afraid – you are not Kadaj."
"Sephiroth?"
"It was me who brought you back."
"But – why - how?"
"When I returned through Kadaj the lifesteam had washed away so much of my past – my memories - I was as much Jenova as Sephiroth then. Then I wanted to destroy everything. I wanted to become Jenova again – to return to my origins and to build a new world…But…being in my body again, fighting Cloud again, seeing this world again through my own eyes…those scattered fragments in the Lifestream reassembled. I remember…I remember how I used to be before I discovered Shin-Ra's betrayal. I was…I thought I was…a hero. But I was just a Shin-Ra killer. Only, I was the best Shin-Ra killer there has ever been. I was designed for it. I was deadly, and beautiful, and I killed without asking why, and Jenova inside me made me desire the deaths and the devastation. But now I have my self – my soul – back again, and I know I can fulfil the destiny I should have had if I had been made perfect. But without the Jenova cells, I can't return corporeally. At least, not yet. When I have discovered more of the secrets of the Lifestream, perhaps it will be possible. You are only an avatar. The Lifestream makes creatures like you easily enough. I brought you back so that when the time comes you can fulfil my commands and bring about a better world. You have come to set things right…but…you returned a little early. I was new-born to consciousness of my self. I did not intend you to return before I could communicate with you. But you are safe from Shin-Ra here, for now."
"So – what must I do? I have no sense of connection. I feel – adrift. Am I…real?"
In Yazoo's mind, Sephiroth laughed. "You are real enough for my purpose, avatar. For now, you only need to wait. When I am strong enough, then we will act."
"What about…Reno?"
"The red-haired Turk? He is not important to my plans. Amuse yourself as you wish."
"I want…to keep him safe."
"Oh, I don't think you do. If you wanted that, you wouldn't have kissed him the second time."
"I…couldn't help…"
"Don't worry, avatar. Soon you will have other targets for your power."
"What do you mean?" But Sephiroth had fallen silent. Yazoo asked aloud, "What do you mean?" There was no reply.
Thanks for reading! Reviews would be very much appreciated...
