Henry remembered the day he came home from Desert Storm like it was yesterday. It could have been a scene from a movie. Henry had stepped off the plane at Langley, looking like every bit the dashing, young American hero in his uniform. Among the crowd of family members, stood his new bride, whom he left just three months into their marriage for 2 years into active duty. He instantly picked her out of the crowd, she was the most beautiful woman there, more beautiful than when he'd left her.
She'd been standing on her tip toes, her eyes scanning the sea of returning marines for her husband. The second she spotted him he could she smiled the most gorgeous of smiles and began to cry as she ran toward him, her beautiful golden hair bouncing in the air. He smiled too, and opened his arms as he ran to meet her. He dropped his bag as she launched herself into his arms and he immediately scooped her up, twirling her in the air.
He'd set her down, looked into her crystal blue eyes and bent to capture her lips with his. They hungerly kissed each for for what seemed like an eternity, trying to put 2 years worth of missed kisses into a single moment. "Elizabeth…"
"Henry…god I missed you." she whispered, "Don't ever leave me again."
"Never, I missed you way too much Mrs. McCord." he said, rubbing her hip.
They'd gone home and made love all night. She tenderly ran her fingers over his few scars, noticing them instantly - checking his eyes to make sure he was okay. Of course she knew he was injured from his letters, but this was the first evidence she saw of his war injuries. 3 small scars: one a bullet wound that left a small scar on on his thigh, a scar on his chest and his arm, one from a burn, one from a piece of metal . "Henry, I've heard most marines don't like to talk about the things they saw, and I know I wasn't there so I can't fully understand, but if you need to talk, i'm more than happy to listen." she offered in the most gentle voice.
He smiled at her, god how he loved this woman. Running his finger across her cheek he answered her quietly, "I had to face things I never wanted to know. But I'm okay sweetheart. Being back home with you, is all I need." And it was the truth. He didn't want her to know about what he saw, he didn't want her carrying the burden of war too. She'd sacrificed enough, letting him go for 2 years, leaving her to care for their apartment alone while finishing school. Although some of the memories were painful, he had come to terms with it. Being back at home with her instantly made him feel whole again.
****Madam Secretary**********
When she first told him about the Iran trip he immediately said no. He tried to reason with her, reminding her of the radicals who would love nothing more than to kill her. He was all for supporting her but he didn't want her heading into a dangerous situation in the most volatile part of the world. He knew his wife was more than capable of taking care of herself, she was tougher than one would think, but she certainly was not a trained marine or had ever been prepared for an ambush, let alone a coup .
But she'd been insistent and he knew he couldn't change her mind. While he understood and admired her reasons, his heart felt differently - she was his wife and he didn't want her in harms way.
He hoped and prayed for her safe return as he held her sleeping form in his arms that night. The next morning he got the distinct impression that she knew that something bad was going to happen as he watched the way she hugged the children goodbye. He had the same sinking feeling, and yet he couldn't stop her. They couldn't manage a goodbye to one another. He danced around the subject, telling her how amazing the previous night had been. She brought up Juliet and rambled on about being righteous before she kissed him hard through her tears and ran out the door saying, "See you in a few days."
He watched her go, a knowing expression on his face. He dipped his head low before returning to the kitchen, saying a silent prayer that he would in fact see her in a few days, as she'd said.
It had been tough to keep it together, Stevie and Alison both noticed the change in his demeanor. When she called that morning to wish Alison a happy birthday, he couldn't help but notice the tone of her voice. Even though she tried to make the conversation light with the chef dad apron reference, he could tell she was upset for some reason. She never normally said "I miss you." during a work trip. He wanted to say, "Then come back, come back right now, you don't have to do this," but instead he just told her he loved her. He briefly wondered if it was the last time she would hear it.
Later that day he'd been playing chess with Alison when the news of the attempted coup went up online and he instantly knew something had gone wrong. He couldn't show it in front of the kids, so he made an excuse after the phone rang and chewed out the first person he came in contact with - the President.
His girls were smart, like their mother and Stevie called him on the carpet about her being in Iran. He had to tell them he didn't know if she was okay and it nearly broke him. So they huddled in their bed together, waiting for the phone to ring. Part of him was afraid for the call, what if it was bad news? The longer he waited, the more hopeless he felt, yet at the same time, if the phone didn't ring he still had hope.
He had never been more relieved than when the President himself had called to tell him she was alive. He mentioned something about an explosion, and some minor injuries but all he heard was "She's on her way home." He told the girls and they cried in happiness, and he just cried. The girls didn't understand his tears; they kept shaking him, trying to cheer him up, but he just sobbed.
The next morning, she was due back. He wasn't quite sure why, but he'd expected her to run in the front door and jump into his arms, just as she had done so many years ago. But the person that walked through the door was not who he expected. The person that had walked in the door was a shadow of Elizabeth. This Elizabeth had shown physical signs of defeat and exhaustion. He was okay with that, he expected it based on what he saw on TV and had heard from Conrad. What he wasn't okay with and wasn't expecting was the the haunted look in her eyes. It was a look he'd never seen there before. The first thing he did was wrap her in his arms and whispered in her ear how much he loved her. But she didn't reply, and her hug back to him was almost non-existent. He hadn't expected that either, and it scared him even more.
She quickly pulled out of his embrace as the kids came running in smiling and nearly pushed her over as they all hugged her at the same time. He noticed she put on a good face for them, mustering up the best smile she could. But something was wrong.
He was standing, smiling a sad smile as he observed the interaction between Elizabeth and the children when Fred stepped into the house with her suitcase.
Henry turned to shake his hand. "Glad you're okay Fred." he said honestly. "And thank you…"he paused, swallowing the lump in his throat, "...for bringing her back to me." The only part that made Henry feel remotely ok about this trip was that Fred was accompanying her. He knew Fred truly cared about Elizabeth. She was more than his assignment.
Fred nodded, he had an unspoken understanding with Dr. McCord in regards to Elizabeth. As Fred returned his handshake, he slipped Henry 2 pill bottles. "Please make sure sure she takes her medicine." Fred said quietly, clearly worried about her.
Henry discreetly slipped the pills in his pocket after reading the labels. One was an antibiotic, the other a sleeping pill. "She has 27 stitches in her back sir." Fred said quietly, "Piece of glass from the explosion….She hasn't slept or ate since...well, since I picked her up yesterday morning. She's not herself sir."
Henry's eyes welled, and he quickly blinked back the tears as he held Fred's gaze. What the hell happened in the 36 hours?
After a few minutes Henry motioned the children away from her and wrapped his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder, walking her to the couch. "Come on guys, let mom sit down and rest okay." he encouraged.
They obeyed, staying a few steps back as they followed their parents to the living room. Before Elizabeth sat down Henry pushed her coat down her shoulders, handing it to Alison to hang up. "You must be starving." he said, facing her.
She shrugged her shoulders, speaking in a barely audible voice. "Mostly tired."
"Stevie, bring mom some cereal or something." Henry instructed before sitting beside her on the couch and motioning Jason & Alison to leave. "Okay sweetheart, i'll take a nap with you later. Why don't we just sit and unwind for a minute." he whispered to her, gently pulling her into his arms.
She laid her head on his chest and let her eyes slip shut, so grateful to be home, so safe in his arms. Henry kissed her head, whispering random sweet nothings in her ear, unsure of what she needed to hear at the moment. "Baby, I'm so happy you are home….I missed you like crazy….love you so much….it will all be okay….you're safe now."
Just as she was starting to relax a bit, Henry moved his hands to his favorite spot near her hip and started to rub. She immediately pushed him away with a hiss, moving to the other side of the couch.
Henry looked dumfounded. "Baby, I'm sorry...what…" he asked slowly scooting closer to her. She said nothing, but looked at him, breathing heavy, unshed tears in her eyes. She dipped her head just slightly, and fingered the edge of her sweater. He picked up on the subtle hint and carefully lifted her sweater, those 27 horrible stitches coming into his view for the first time and it crushed him, it was right in his favorite spot to touch her and one of her favorite places to be touched. Her skin surrounding the stitches was puffy and bruised, probably even burned to some extent - it had probably felt very tender or raw. He'd hurt her by putting pressure there with his hand. He briefly wondered if there were any other injuries he'd yet to find.
Stevie walked in that exact moment with the bowl of rice krispies topped with a cut up banana for her mother and a glass of juice. She observed the tension between her parents and set the food on the coffee table before walking away with a sad look on her face - she'd seen the stitches too.
Henry nodded his thanks to his eldest daughter for bringing the food and she smiled sadly back. "Come on guys - mom and dad need to be alone for a while." she told her brother and sister, who were hovering in the hallway, as she walked back in the kitchen.
"Elizabeth, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'll be gentle while it heals okay." he whispered, putting her sweater back in place and kneeling in front of her.
She offered a small smile and nodded, accepting his apology. She patted the couch indicating she wanted him to sit beside her. He moved to do so, grabbing the cereal bowl in the process.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as she leaned into him and surprisingly took the cereal from his hand.
Her hands shook slightly as she lifted a spoonful to her mouth, chewing slowly. She repeated the movement until the cereal was nearly gone. It shocked him, but he was pleased she'd eaten something. He knew you needed food in your system with antibiotics. After seeing the size of the wound he also realized the need for the pills, to prevent an infection.
As she set the bowl down and reached for the juice he thought he would try an experiment. He reached into his pocket and set the bottle of antibiotics on the table, wondering if she would take one on her own.
She paused, after one sip of the juice and sighed loudly, holding her hand out - clearly not wanting the pill but complying nonetheless. He opened the cap and poured one tablet into her hand.
She gulped down the pill and a few more sips of juice before rising and heading for the stairs. "I'm going to bed." she announced quietly, rubbing her temples.
He grabbed her fingers as she walked away, "Want me to come lay down with you?" he asked, treading lightly. She was acting differently than he had ever seen her act, almost unresponsive in a way and it frightened him. He wanted to lay with her and hold her, but certainly didn't want to overwhelm or frighten her in any way.
She gave him the smallest smile and nod in response to his question, he'd almost missed it. He quickly got up and followed her to their bedroom.
She wanted to crawl in bed immediately, but Henry stopped her, encouraging her to change into her pajamas. She obediently lifted her arms, allowing him to remove her sweater. She shivered when it was off, and Henry immediately focused his attention on the bandages on her arms. He touched the edge of the bandage with his finger, searching her eyes. "It's nothing." she whispered as he surveyed the rest of her upper body for additional injuries. Happy he didn't find anything else, he put one of his oversized Georgetown sweaters over her head.
She then stepped out of her shoes, unzipping her dress pants and slipping into a pair of cotton pajama pants before crawling into bed. Henry stripped down to his boxers and undershirt before getting in bed after her.
He laid on his back, and she immediately snuggled up to him. He wrapped his arms around her tight, kissing her forehead. He noticed she trembled and then felt her silent tears on his chest. "Shhh….you're okay now sweetheart. Just sleep okay" he encouraged, kissing her forehead.
She stopped crying after a few minutes and looked up into his eyes. He read her expression and leaned down and very gently brushed her lips against hers. She kissed him back this time and he took it as a good sign.
After the kiss ended, he looked into her eyes, "Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Not yet." she breathed, shaking her head.
He kissed her again, very tenderly. "Okay." he whispered. "I know I wasn't there, but Elizabeth, I'm ready to listen whenever you're ready to talk about it." he assured her, offering a version of her own promise to him when he returned from the war.
"Henry, I had to face things I didn't even want to know." she said, her voice low and almost haunting; repeating the sentiment he had expressed to her upon coming home from war. The expression had stuck with them both since Desert Storm. She'd previously used it to justify her actions in Iraq to Stevie, which ultimately led her to leave the CIA.
It usually took her a few days to gather her thoughts on a sensitive event, like George's death, before she was ready to talk so he wasn't completely surprised she didn't want to talk about it immediately. Yet, the tone in her voice and her behavior since she'd walked in the door scared him. Whatever had happened clearly shook her to her core. It made him wonder if she would ever talk to him about it. Would he ever really know what happened in Iran? Even though he hadn't been there the events in Iran were causing him to also face something he didn't want to know - the haunting pain in his wife's eyes.
As she drifted into an exhausted sleep, Henry held her tight, praying his love would be enough to see her through - just as her love was enough to get him through Desert Storm.
A/N: I know some of you will be mad that I letting Fred live...but I just love him so much, he had to live! We'll all just pretend he was wearing a bullet proof vest in Iran (I mean seriously why was he not?)
