I have never…

Maureen had come to Collins' and Angel's apartment to discuss another protest with Collins. Mimi there too helping Angel make a new skirt. With so many people homeless Angel didn't feel it was right to spend much money on her clothes.

"Door!" Mimi pointed out rather obviously as someone could be heard knocking on it. This was ignored by the two talking animatedly on the couch. Mimi sighed; they were in the middle of sewing on some sequins and besides the others were right by the door. As the knocking got louder Angel tried,

"Collins baby, could you get the door please?" This had the desired effect as Collins immediately opened the door to find Roger, Joanne and Mark.

"You've got him well trained chica," Mimi giggled.

"So this is where you all are" Mark said as Roger and Joanne each went to greet their respective partners. "Do you guys want to head to the Life?" Mimi's eyes strayed to the window and on seeing the heavy snow falling answered,

"I don't fancy going out in that. Shall we stay here?"

Amidst general agreement Maureen whined, "But what is there to do here?" Collins rolled his eyes at Angel. They both knew Maureen did not mean to be rude.

"Well I've got some Stoli we could…" Collins began,

"Play a drinking game" Maureen finished excitedly, "Let's play I have never"

"What's that?" Joanne asked as the group arranged themselves into a circle.

"You have to say something you've never done and anyone who has done it has to drink." Maureen explained pulling her girlfriend down next to her in the ring. "Who wants to go first?"

Roger offered to and with an evil look at Maureen said, "I have never mooned anyone."

"Fine, pick on me!" Maureen sighed dramatically reaching for the bottle. Mimi and Collins also drank.

"I have never played a musical instrument" Collins retorted, realising his mistake when he turned to see Angel pouting up at him. "Shit! I meant played the guitar" he hurriedly corrected himself.

"Too late!" Mimi shouted gleefully pushing the Stoli towards Angel.

"What about the cowbell?" Mark piped up as Roger also drank.

"Doesn't count" Maureen replied decisively.

As Roger had already had a go he gestured to Angel to continue. Collins groaned as he saw her looking thoughtfully at him and reached for the drink in preparation.

"I have never been arrested" she said smiling sweetly at him. Collins drank and passed it straight to Maureen before they both high-fived. "What a protest that was!" Maureen exclaimed.

"Until I had to sort out your release" Joanne muttered. Maureen moved over to her and putting her arm around her whispered "good job I'm worth it pookie" in her ear. Joanne tried to remain detached whilst Maureen trailed kisses from her ear to her lips. Yet when Maureen traced her lips with her tongue she gave in and opened her mouth allowing the kiss to deepen.

Seeing Mark was getting uncomfortable Roger cleared his throat loudly causing the kiss to end. Noticing the two people yet to drink Collins evilly said "I have never dated Maureen."

Mark groaned as he took a drink, trying to ignore the pitying look Joanne gave him as he passed her the bottle. Glaring at Collins he responded "I have never gotten so high that I locked myself out of my apartment in the middle of the night… naked."

"You promised not to tell!" Collins gasped. It had been a couple of years ago when Collins had still been living with Mark, Roger and Benny. After pounding on the door for what felt like hours Mark had finally let him in – thankfully without his camera in hand for once. Mark had promised never to mention it if he did Marks' chores for the month; looks like he needn't have bothered.

Luckily Maureen interrupted here realising that it was her game and she still hadn't had a turn. "I have never cross-dressed" she called, the vodka making her even louder than usual. Angel drank a double amount of the Stoli to account for the amount of cross dressing she did and was preparing to think of a round when Mark and Roger both reached for the bottle.

There was a moment's silence with all eyes on the two friends expecting an explanation. A staring match ensued before Roger dropped his gaze and shared a glance with Mark. "I think we should explain." Looking shocked Mark replied, "We can't. It was supposed to be our secret."

"They're our friends. If we can't be honest with them who can we trust?" The rocker replied.

"Fine" the filmmaker muttered. "It all started about a year ago."

"I'd been painting my nails black for a gig" Roger continued. "I'd thought about getting more of a goth look and started experimenting with eye liner too. Then I saw Maureen had left some make up behind. It looked good and I suppose one thing led to another."

"I'd got back early," Mark took up the tale. "When I came to the loft I found Roger with a full face of make up on. It looked kind of cool so I joined in. We thought it would be funny to try cross dressing as our faces already looked like a girls."

"It was only ever meant to be a bit of fun one evening" Roger sighed wistfully. "But something just seemed to click being dressed like that."

"I don't know what makes it so addictive" Mark mused. "Sometimes when it was just us we'd put on drag, as if we couldn't go too long without it. As if we didn't want to deprive some part of ourselves we hadn't known existed."

"I'm sorry we haven't been able to tell you this before" Roger said looking up at the trusting faces of his friends. Well, all but one of them…

"Bullshit!" Angel exclaimed.

"You know we're lying?" Roger asked pretending to be affronted.

"Takes one to know one honey," Angel giggled. Roger and Mark collapsed into laughter soon followed by the others.

When everyone had calmed down Maureen asked "So what's the real story?"

"High School bet" Mark replied, which everyone agreed was far less exciting.

Roger let Mimi have his turn and she surveyed the group wondering how to make lots of them drink. She settled on "I have never fancied a woman."

The bottle got passed from Mark to Roger to Joanne to Maureen who started to put the bottle back down. That is until Collins grabbed it from her and downed the remaining vodka.

"Who? Who?" Maureen screeched almost bouncing in excitement.

"Angel" Collins replied simply looking into the eyes of his lover, whilst he moved her onto his lap.

Angel felt her eyes misting up as she looked back at him, her heart feeling like it would melt with love for this man. All of her life she had wanted to be a woman. She could remember sneaking into her sister's room as a child and reading her romance novels. Then Angel would lie awake at night imagining herself as one of the romantic heroines with her hero (who had always looked rather like Collins). Yet she had always resigned herself to the fact that these relationships were only for the biologically female. She could only dream. Even when she cross-dressed she was always seen as at most a drag queen. At least this was how she was seen by her past boyfriends- not that there had been many relationships and none of them meaningful. Sure they had flirted with her calling her a woman, but they had never treated her like one.

When Angel met Mimi it was the first time she felt like she could be herself. To Mimi she was a girlfriend who could be involved in a conversation about anything. Unlike the previous women she had met who still barred some topics of discussion seeing her as a man. Angel had been happy with Mimi and thought she was content with life, her dream determinedly kept locked away… until she met Collins. Finally she was able to be a girlfriend to a man. Of course there were occasions when she would want to dress as a man, often when she was drumming, but Collins was fine with that. In the past some of her boyfriends had wanted her to be in drag constantly, raise her voice ridiculously high and generally be a caricature of a woman. They saw her as a fantasy ignoring who she herself wanted to be. Collins was different though. He accepted her however she was. When she dressed like a man he still fancied her, admiring her muscles and short curly hair. When she wanted to be a woman he thought she was beautiful and he treated her like a lady: holding doors open, pulling out chairs for her, all the little things she never thought she would be able to experience. Yet finally here was a man who loved her for who she was.

"I love you" she whispered as she gently moved her hand through his hair. Pulling his head down their mouths met in gentle sweet kiss. She felt his lips move beneath hers as he murmured "I love you too my Angel."