Letting Go
Pre-show Emma drabble
Rating: K+ for Emma's foul mouth
Synopsis: Emma has just given birth to Henry. It's rough and short, but it's been plaguing me… so here it is.
Her body ached, weak and exhausted. She heard him cry as the nurse whisked him out of the room. She strained to sit up so she could catch a glimpse of him. She just wanted to make sure he was okay. As the nurse turned the corner she saw a little pink head covered in jet black hair. She had told herself there was no going back. Broken people don't deserve nice things. She didn't know anything about family… only that she never had one. Yet here she lay, wanting nothing more than to bolt from this hospital bed and chase after him. She wanted to kiss his sweet face, to look into his eyes and feel his weight in her arms. She wanted to whisper nonsense to him, soothing his little whimpers and telling him he would never be alone. No one had ever told her that. She had always been alone. She did better on her own, or at least that's what she told herself.
Emma Swan lay wide-eyed in her bed, her damp blond hair matted to her forehead and silent tears spilling down her cheeks. Dammit! She swatted at her eyes and cursed herself for allowing this to happen. She wasn't going to cry. This kid wasn't supposed to mean anything… nothing more than a mistake… a mistake that haunted her every waking hour, and filled her dreams with vivid memories she woke begging to forget. Emma's breath hitched in her throat and more tears threatened to rush down her already wet cheeks. A mistake. The more she repeated it, the sicker she felt, her stomach in literal knots. Look at yourself! An 18 year old fuck-up who just gave birth after landing in jail 9 months ago. Really!? What the hell am I supposed to do with a kid? I knew I would never be able to keep him… but, oh God… I didn't know it would hurt this much to let him go. Emma bit down on her lip as the dam finally broke, sobs wracking her body and guilt settling deep into her bones. He was gone. She began to shiver and clutched at the thin sheet the nurse had draped over her. As the monitors beeped and the noise of the hospital droned on outside, she let go. All of the hurt, the heartache, and the pain of losing something – someone – that was once a part of her came rushing in and overwhelmed her. As the moments passed, she began to collect herself before the nurses came back in and she decided one thing for certain… she would never trust again.
[END]
