It's been a few years since I tried to write any TMM fanfic.

I really want to say that I've improved since the days of 'Fangirl Fantasies'. I mean, ugh. Moron on the writing train alert. And now, after months of joking about it between myself and the author of Witch Hazel, TheGreatMikeyWeston...

I actually did this.

I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. And I'll give you guys one last warning: Don't like, don't read. Mmkay? Mmkay.

Let the show begin.

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In the mystical land of Japan, not far away from the Mew Mew Café (even though technically no one was supposed to know about it yet), there was a perfectly normal teenager by the name of Ichigo Momomiya that just had to choose the worst date possible.

"It's a really nice day today," The boy in question pointed out. He went by many names, two in particular being 'Masaya the Tree Hugger' and 'Masaya Aoyama'. The one that the author prefers is 'That Prick Ichigo's Canon Boyfriend'.

This may be because she ships Kisshu and Ichigo faithfully.

On with the story.

"Oh, wait, you said the same thing a while ago." That Prick Ichigo's Canon Boyfriend noticed. The two erupted into a spasm of giggles about then.

In Ichigo's brain, however, beneath the fluffy giggles she was spouting, a much more devious process was being spun by the gears of thought.

My god, is he a moron. Someone should push a snack machine on him or something. I mean, so what, he's hot? I'd rather date... I don't know, an alien or something over him any day.

Luckily, she was very experienced in hiding this kind of thing, and thus the 'date' continued seemingly without a hitch.

"So I've been thinking about something for a while..." Masaya trailed off. Ichigo swore in her head.

This is it! He's declaring his undying love to me! … hmm... I might be able to make him my servant around school... plus I can laugh at all his fangirls...

"It's something very important to you." He continued.

C'mon, say it say it say it-

"About protecting nature-I want to discuss it further!"

Ichigo's expression was a sight to behold. It was something like fury, hatred, disappointment, and shock all mixed into one.

Apparently, he seemed to notice. "Wait, what's wrong?"

"Ahaha, nothing~!" Ichigo covered up, grinning brightly. "I think I'll go get some juice, mmkay?"

Get some juice and sulk into it that I was stupid enough to have a crush on this guy.

An inconveniently placed root (one that we can probably blame Taruto for even though he's not introduced for who-knows-how-many-episodes) stopped her in her tracks.

CURSE YOU INCONVENIENTLY PLACED ROOOOOOOOOOT-

The protagonist's thoughts and her descent were cut off by Masaya catching her.

"Are you alright?"

NO. NO, I AM NOT.

"... Thank you." The 'love interest' set her back down on the grass, not bothering to notice that past the blush on her face, Ichigo's eyes were positively blazing. He then started to walk away.

"Wait a second..."

"I'll go buy them." Masaya grinned as if he were the smartest guy in the world. "Just sit here and wait for me... Momomiya-san."

Ichigo watched him leave and fell back against the grass. "I am so dumping him after this. Dumping a guy on the first not-even-date... I deserve a medal!"

Unbeknownst to both Ichigo, the other two main characters in the nearby café, and her derp of a 'boyfriend', as an 'earthquake' began, Ichigo's prayers were answered.

More or less.

"Well, she did ask for it." The green-haired alien sighed, floating over to the drink machine and pushing it over. With a girly shriek, Masaya was crushed, Kisshu stole the juice, and there was absolutely no proof that he had been there.

Ten minutes later, Ichigo finally got fed up and came back over. Kish tossed her one of the cans and grinned cheekily.

"Welcome~!"

"... I think I'm high. Oh, hey, Masaya's dead."

"So as you were saying earlier..." Kisshu trailed off, giving Ichigo a look. She rolled her eyes.

"Fine, we can have a series-long relationship that crosses the borders of good and evil, screws up my job as a protagonist, and somewhere down the line you'll probably manage to kidnap me and we'll have mutated cross-species babies together."

"Works for me!"

And somewhere in the background, the author just cackled, the actual Ichigo tied and gagged behind her.

"I love screwing up the storyline with alternate personalities." The Shadow of Fantasies smirked. "And speaking of screwing up the storyline, I'mma go kidnap Tart now. Fangirls, fear me!"

And so the parody came to an end.

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IchigoxKish fangirls, I have fulfilled your dreams for you.

Congrats.

And now, I'm going to hide before the MasayaxIchigo shippers get here and start yelling at me.

Please review~! 8D