So I haven't wrote fanfiction in a LONG time, but I've been watching this show for a few months and had to put type something for it. I'm definitely a Henry/Charlotte shipper, so this is pretty much based on them and their interactions on the show. Hope you guys like it, and if you're a Henry/Charlotte shipper too and have seen next week (April 18th)'s promo, please tell me I'm not the only one that freaked out a little…Anyway, just let me know what you guys think, hope y'all like it!
They're friends.
They've been friends for forever it seems. Ten years is a long time to know someone.
Which is why she immediately knows he's hiding something when he suddenly becomes tired all the time and misses school. Yeah, Henry isn't exactly the most dedicated student, but this is definitely abnormal for him.
Her suspicion only grows when he dodges her attempt to question his whereabouts and leaves, jumbled sentences and girly screams going with him.
She admits that maybe she went a little overboard by sneaking into his house at night and waiting until he got home.
But in her defense, they're friends.
And friends don't keep secrets.
When he flashes his charming smile and laughs nervously as he answers her questions, she knows he's lying.
When he makes up the jazz excuse, she stays silent because she simply has no words for how weak his attempt is. She lets him try for his own sake, but she can't help but draw out her earlier theory of what's really up. Plus, the look on his face when she smells his hair is a little entertaining.
His eyes widen and his breath catches when the accusation finally comes and she knows she has him. Because he's Henry, he tries to joke his way out of it, but caves because he knows better than anyone that this is Charlotte.
She feels awful when he later tells her that he got fired (because of her).
She has to remind herself that she's Charlotte and she pulls everyone back into reality. Her attempts end in him singing his own version of that cup song from Pitch Perfect, chocolate syrup still on his lips.
She feels like grabbing his shirt and yanking him through the phone when he first refuses to come to Swellview Park. She worked hard to track down this stupid criminal with the titanium teeth and bald head, and she was not letting Henry's gloom ruin it. When he gives in, she is relieved because being responsible for the unemployment of her best friend (and recently turned sidekick) is not a fun burden to carry.
She isn't even that upset when he first gives the credit to Captain Man. But, when it comes down to convincing the superhero to give her a job, she has to remind them a few times to boost her credibility.
(And because it's fun to remind them how much smarter she is than both of them combined.)
But mostly to boost her credibility.
When he tells her to hug him, she forces herself to pretend she's weirded out for a moment. But when he smiles and tells her to trust him, she gives in and wraps her arms around him. Not that it means anything.
They're friends.
She knows that he's not supposed to use any of his gadgets in public, but her locker just would not open.
And he's her friend. Friends use their Whiz Watches to open other friends' broken lockers.
She knows that he knows Ray better than her, but she knew as soon as Jasper announced that they were going to have a substitute teacher what was going on. And when Henry turns around in his seat to give her his 'what-the-heck-does-he-think-he-is-doing' look, she is too shocked at Ray's disguise to give him her 'I-told-you-so' look.
Granted, the weird curly haired new kid does raise red flags with his weird questions about the water supply and cameras, but she thinks they may have jumped to conclusions on this case.
(Especially when they have to dump their unconscious bodies in an alley and erase their brains.)
She cares about her three coworkers, that goes without question. Yeah, she hasn't been working there long but she and Henry have become closer and Ray and Gooch are pretty cool once you get used to their straight-up weirdness (she's not sure that that's even a word, but if it was, it would fit her workplace perfectly.)
So, yeah, she cares about them.
But not enough to hang around while they try and find whatever purple slime carrying thing that crawled out of the space-rock-egg.
So, naturally, she leaves. Very quickly.
And it's no surprise to her when she learns that the three (two of which, she reminds them, fight bad guys every day and are supposed to be fearless) followed after less than a minute later.
"Yeah, women do be crazy."
Go ahead, call her crazy. She'd rather be crazy than risk her life trying to find the earlier mentioned purple slime carrying thing that crawled out of the space-rock-egg.
So when they find out that it's in Henry's basement, naturally, she leaves again.
Very quickly.
She has to tell Ray and Schwoz when he asks Chloe out on a date simply because she knows that they will tease him.
But that doesn't mean she doesn't pity both Henry and Chloe when she and Ray get to Sotto Voche and see how much the man-beast machine had affected him already. Poor Chloe had decided to give Henry a chance and this happens.
And she knows how much Henry still likes Chloe and this happens.
And it seriously freaks her out that her best friend is practically an animal by the time they finally get him back to the Man Cave.
And that Schwoz's machine turns him into a girl before they finally get him back to normal.
"Why can't we ever have normal problems?"
Just when she thinks things can't get any weirder, she and Henry meet (more or less) Invisible Brad.
The guy is weird (and bitter and invisible) but he's okay. Until he decides he wants to be Captain Man's sidekick.
Which leads to him flipping Henry's bed over in the middle of the night. And getting him in trouble with Ms. Shapen and Mitch Bilsky. And hitting his leg with a steel pipe. And punching him.
Needless to say, she feels bad for Henry.
And she understands his rant when they're setting up the paint trap.
But she still does feel kinda bad when Ray tells them that the dude got hit by a bus. I mean, yeah, he was a jerk, but no one really deserves to get hit by a bus.
Out of all the strange, random villains that they've had to deal with, this "jerky teenager here in Swellview" is the most annoying.
(Except for Jeff…but he doesn't really count.)
But really, what kind of person tells people the ending of movies and TV shows?
That's just wrong.
But she still has to laugh at Henry and Ray's costumes. Cause seriously, Duke Starjacker and a Red Skynaut?
You can't not laugh.
She definitely doesn't laugh when the Spoiler almost breaks Henry's arm. Before she can do anything, Piper handles the situation pretty well, if she does say so herself.
She's finally glad to have a somewhat normal day when Henry goes on Spin and Win. Now that she thinks about it, this is probably the closest to normal it will ever get when it comes to her job.
Except when Henry randomly zones out in the middle of the show, complete with a blank stare and drool.
But none of them think anything of it right then, especially when he wins.
But when he zones out again and this time loads all of his prizes into the van outside(and also gives Ray a very uncomfortable-looking wedgie), they think a lot of it.
Henry later fills her in on all the details, including the criminals being the host's kids and that the "women" on the show were definitely not women.
Of all the times that she's felt bad for Henry, his first attempt to talk to Bianca is definitely in the top three.
Cause that boy has no game whatsoever.
But then again, making an idiot out of yourself in front of your crush isn't as bad as something like, I don't know, a giant volcano 50 miles below the Earth's surfaces erupting in less than two days.
But with impending doom that only four people know about, what else can you do besides eat?
(Or in Henry's case, not hold back his feelings. Toward anyone.)
Except pickles.
Pickles are gross.
And because she's Charlotte, she has to intervene when Henry nearly gets himself pummeled by Mitch Bilsky. Which only moves the fight til the next Monday, but hey, the world is ending this Friday, so what does it matter?
And because they're friends, she urges him to tell Bianca once and for all that he likes her. What else are friends supposed to do?
But everything kinda gets thrown out of whack when Schwoz informs them that he slightly miscalculated the eruption of the volcano.
Which results in Charlotte having to zap Mitch Bilsky before he punches Henry in the face. Because she's Charlotte.
"Uhhh, I think I know how girls work."
She doesn't even fight the urge to roll her eyes at his comment. And when she overhears Bianca rejecting him, she has to rub it in just a little.
After all, that's what friends do.
When he first tells her he found a date, she is a little surprised at how quick he rebounded.
But then she learns that it isn't really a she and she knows that this will eventually come back to bite him. And it does.
Even though deep down she knows that this is wrong, but it's kinda cool to meet an android. Sure, she doesn't say much except "I'm Tiffany!" but she can dance better than anyone Charlotte knows.
And everyone soon learns that she is also highly trained in beating Mitch Bilsky to a pulp.
When Hen-Kid Danger is trying to take down Tiffany, Charlotte realizes that this is the third time she has actually watched while he fought a villain and the same knot in her stomach from before has made its presence again. She doesn't think it'll ever go away, not as long as her best friend is in danger.
And that's normal. Friends care for other friends' safety.
One of the best things about their friendship is that they can drag each other into whatever situation one of them is in.
So when Henry tells her about Ray's Super Anniversary and how much Ray hates it, she drags him into helping her make it up to Ray. And because he's her friend, he lets her.
And at first, it was all working out perfectly.
Until Jasper flipped the emergency lockdown switch and Junk and Stuff shut down.
And because she's Charlotte, she is the one that gets volunteered to go up the tube using some batteries that Ray found in the Man Cave. Just like their earlier plan, everything works out at first.
Until the batteries explode and she comes right back down into the Man Cave. Without the big pizza.
But hey, what else can you do while stuck on emergency lockdown besides have your own Weekend of Fum?
Sure, Ray ends up crashing his bike (and setting it on fire, which she has no idea how that happened), but they recreate a water roller coaster and have a campfire all on their own. Charlotte had to admit, it was one of the most fun times she'd had in a while.
But that doesn't mean that she doesn't bail the minute they figure out how to cancel the lockdown.
She'll see them all at work tomorrow anyway.
"Is it true?"
"That they found Bigfoot on the moon?"
She tried to hide her smile as she hit his arm, but friends are supposed to make you smile, so what does it really matter?
When Henry and Ray argue over who gets the elevator and who gets the alligator, it's one of the many times she has to step in. In her opinion, she doesn't get paid enough to put up with those two sometimes, but it's an interesting job either way.
It's not two hours later that she has to step in again to break up their fantasy happiness with the reality that Bianca cheated on Henry. In the following days, Henry's irritable and almost unbearable to be around, but Charlotte knows that he's just covering up how hurt he really is. She has to keep that in mind when he directs his anger at her temporarily before he admits that he really is mad. So needless to say, she's happy when she thinks of an idea to fix things between him and Bianca and everything is back to normal.
Coming up with this many of the solutions to Ray and Henry's problems should get her a raise. Seriously.
Reason #34098751236 to get a raise: Being volunteered to be put inside your best friend (and superhero sidekick)'s seriously weird dream to wake him up.
It's just another reminder that she's Charlotte and she pulls everyone back into reality.
(Literally).
And for the record, actually falling into someone else's dream is not fun.
She feels really bad for him when he hugs her desperately and begins pointing out all the out of place things. But she cannot risk being the reason for her best friend's brain exploding.
She thinks she handles it quite well. Sure, she freaks him out a little at how fiercely she grabs him by the shirt and denies that it's a dream, but considering the circumstances she thinks she's doing pretty well.
She knows that the banana peel is the oldest trick in the book, but she can't bring herself to actually hurt him. She cringes when he comes tumbling down the stairs, and frustrated when it doesn't wake him up.
That bloob thing is seriously disgusting, but if Schwoz says it'll wake Henry up, then she's willing to take the slimy green invention.
"Can I have some juice?"
She hates how lame the excuse that she blurts out is, but it works.
"I'm having a mental breakdown and all she cares about is juice-"
She looks away like Schwoz told her, but from the sound of the bloob and Henry's yell, the thing must be pretty scary.
(But not as creepy as playing Mahjong with Kim and Kayne, Piper (with a blue beard), some green girl, and Jasper's floating head.)
You would think that bringing your best friend frozen yogurt after you had been filling in for him at work for the past week that he's been grounded would make said best friend grateful, but no.
She gets accused of being a job stealer. Then gets told she can't steal said job because she's a girl (excuse him, young woman).
(In her opinion, he totally deserved to have his yogurt thrown out the window for the squirrel to eat.)
She's honestly surprised at how well the suit actually fits her. She didn't know how it would work exactly, since Henry is taller and, well, a guy.
And she has to admit, she didn't realize how hard being Captain Man's sidekick was. Don't get her wrong, she gets through it, but not without being covered in mud and pig slop that takes her nearly an hour to wash off.
"Well, I guess since you rode a large pig, and tackled a farmer…I guess you can do my job."
There's still drying mud all over her and the awful stench to accompany it, but hearing those words make her feel better. Even when she admits that she doesn't want his job.
But she has to confess, the best part was the hug. Partially because covering him in mud and pig slop was payback for his earlier accusations, and partially because hugging him isn't something she doesn't want to do.
Cause after all, they're friends.
"And on a sad note today, Swellview's very own Captain Man went from 'superhero' to 'superjerko'."
Okay, so maybe Ray did save those kids from a deadly Red Jabber, but he probably could've handled the whole situation a little bit better than he did.
"Why don't you just make a video apologizing?"
"Yeah, that's gooood."
She's glad that Henry agrees with her idea, especially when Ray refuses.
Minutes later…
"I'm Captain Man, and I care very much what you, the people, think of me."
Not that it makes a difference, people still hate him. But she's Charlotte, so she has another plan (with the help of some corn).
"What do people want to know most about Captain Man?"
(They are slightly grossed out by Schwoz's answer, but they move on quickly.)
"They want to know where I live and work."
"Right. So we have a contest-"
"We have a contest!"
"And the winners get a private tour of the Man Cave-"
"Of the Man Cave!"
She is tempted to slap Henry at this point.
"Gooch will meet the winners somewhere else, put them in sacks…"
"…And he can bring them here and send them down the tubes-"
"And send them down the tubes!"
But giving him a taste of his own medicine is enough payback.
(Annoying, isn't it?)
Luckily, the plan is quickly formed and ("That's pretty clever…") is up and running within no time.
She understands why he's distracted, but she's still a little offended when she realizes he isn't listening to her story about her Uncle Rosco and Aunt Susan.
But because she's his best friend, she reminds him that the odds of Jasper guessing the number are next to nothing.
But then Piper guesses it.
(Well, one of the poor kids she recruited with no shoes guesses it, but still. It's Piper.)
She should've known that somehow or another, Jasper would be there. So when he ends up being Piper's guest, she can't say she's surprised.
Poor Henry.
But because Schwoz is a genius, he disguises Henry's face and voice so he's unrecognizable as Kid Danger. Charlotte has to admit, Schwoz did a good job.
Although, she is a little freaked out by how deep Henry's voice is. She decides then that she likes him just the way he is, definitely not altered.
"Alright, why don't we just test Jasper and see?"
"Yes, good."
"What are you guys talking about?!"
"We'll make up some big ole' juicy secret…"
"And then, if he keeps that secret for a week, we know we can trust him."
"What do you think?"
(She and Henry should've known that making a deal with Ray was dangerous.)
"Okay…but I get to pick the fake secret."
"Sure."
"Done deal, man."
(The smirk on Ray's face alone should've been a warning sign.)
"Okay then."
"Sooo…what secret do you want us to tell him?"
(Annnnd this is when they both decide to never make a deal with Ray again. Ever.)
"That you and Henry…" (insert weird hand motions)"are boyfriend and girlfriend."
(Cue mutual looks of disgust.)
"Ewww….Hey!"
(She swears she's gonna throw something at Ray if he doesn't wipe that stupid smirk off his face.)
"Okay, so who's gonna start?"
"You start."
"Nooo, you start."
"I don't wanna start!"
"It's my house, I make the rules!"
"Well why'd you ask me who was gonna start if you knew you wanted me to start?!"
"Are you serious-"
(And here comes the fighting-like-an-old-married-couple.)
When they sit down at the table with Jasper, the look she gives him is enough for him not to argue, so he starts.
"Uhhh…so…we have something that we kinda wanna tell you. But first, you've gotta promise, you've gotta swear that you'll never tell anyone this secret."
"No worries, I can keep a secret."
(Somehow, they both find that hard to believe.)
"Can you?"
"Yeah, I never told Charlotte that you were the one who killed her goldfish."
(It's at this moment that Henry knows he's in trouble.)
"What?!"
"You did not just say that!"
"You killed Nemo?!"
"We're getting off track here!"
(Oh yeah…she's so gonna get him later for this one.)
"Now, we wanna tell you a big secret, but you've gotta seriously swear that you'll never tell anyone."
"Ever, ever."
"I swear on Nemo's grave."
"Stop mentioning Nemo!"
"I can't believe you killed him!"
"I tickled his back, he had a stroke, it wasn't my fault!"
(Definitely going to get him later.)
"Charlotte and I are boyfriend and girlfriend."
(They both aren't sure how they feel exactly about that sentence.)
They both smile awkwardly as Jasper stammers and tries to comprehend this new information, and ends in him pouring the bowl of peas down his shirt. They assume it's some form of comfort, so they just sit there and wait for him to be done.
"What?!"
"It's true."
"You guys are dating?!"
"We are."
"We're…deep in love."
(More awkward (but possibly something more?) smiles.)
"Wow…so you guys, like, kiss and stuff?"
(Back out. Back out NOW.)
"Mmmmhhhmm…we sure do!"
"We kiss a lot."
"Can I see?"
(ABORT THE MISSION.)
"Well…we can't kiss right now."
"Why not?"
"Cause…Charlotte has a mouth sore!"
(That's the best he could come up with?)
"Yeahhh, it's real gross. Henry, why don't you take me to the mouth doctor?"
"Sure, baby!"
(Of course, when he calls her "baby" he means it platonically. As friends. Like when he was excited about passing his Puerto Rican history test and when she gave him a hug while covered in pig slop. It's just a friendly term they use. That's all.)
Later, when they're brushing the teeth of the dinosaur in Junk N Stuff, Ray has to bring up the whole deal.
"So, you guys told Jasper yesterday?"
"Yep."
"We did."
"Ha! I bet he's already blabbed it to every kid in your school. And if he did, it meeeaaanns…"
(Of course Ray has to rub it in before he's right. Dance and all.)
"Hey! That song's really repetitive!"
Again, they should've seen the warning signs. When Ray sends them down to the Man Cave, excuse me, the basement, to "mop the walls"…yeah. Something's up.
"Ray's playing dirty!"
"We should've made a rule against bucket temptations!"
(Of course Ray has freakin' King Tut's golden bucket.)
But luckily, Jasper is strong enough to keep the secret. (For now.)
"Rotate the light bulbs?"
"What does that even mean?"
Ray really is playing dirty. Offering the bucket for free, just for Jasper to break and confess the "secret"? That's downright evil.
"Ohhh man, this is intense!"
"Do we really have to unscrew and rescrew all of these light bulbs?"
"No, shhh!"
(She thought it was a reasonable question.)
They can't help but be smug when Ray comes down to the Man Cave after Jasper refuses to break. They have every right to do the same little victory song and dance that Ray did days earlier.
"Don't count your Jaspers before they hatch."
(Okay, that was a little worrying.)
And ultimately, Ray outsmarts them all and Jasper unknowingly spills the fake beans.
"So…why'd you guys break up?"
"Cause he killed my goldfish."
"She has mouth sores."
"Well, even though you guys broke up, can't I just see you kiss once?"
"No."
"Can't stop me from thinkin' about it."
(Because no one ships Chenry more than Jasper.)
She doesn't know what's more disappointing: the fact that Henry actually finds Kim and Kanye talking about eggs and pancakes in an elevator entertaining, orrr…
"You let all the Wall Dogs get away!"
"I caught one! Until she tricked me and handcuffed me to this ball washer."
(She?)
"She?"
"You never said she was a girl."
"Well she was…and she was really tough! And pretty…"
(Cue eye roll.)
"What's that on your lips?"
"Uh…I don't know…lip skin?"
"Sticky…strawberry..."
"Lip gloss?"
"Did you kiss that girl Wall Dog?!"
"No!"
(Moment of silence.)
"She kissed me!"
Nope. She's definitely more disappointed about the Wall Dog girl.
(And the fact that he's obviously lying about knowing something.)
Which, to his credit, he does come clean about in, like, less than an hour.
She isn't crazy about the plan that Henry and Ray come up with, but if it helps them catch those delinquents, then it can't be that bad.
She tries not to panic when they lose the signal to his tracking device. She knows him better than anyone, and Henry will always figure out something.
(She ignores the voice in her head reminding her that usually she's the one that helps him figure it out.)
So when she sees OMG painted in black letters against Jaspar's neon colored back, it only takes her a second to get it.
Which leads to the capture of the Wall Dogs-
Well…most of the Wall Dogs…
-and Jasper is able to get food reduction surgery.
The poor boy deserves it.
As horrible as it makes her and Henry sound as Jasper's best friends, you can't really blame them for not believing that he has a girlfriend.
Named Courtney Sham.
From Fibberton.
It's kind of ridiculous.
(Almost as ridiculous as Henry and Ray's ping pong obsession.)
So when Courtney Sham from Fibberton actually shows up, it's a little bit of a surprise.
Especially since she's kind of a psycho.
(In Charlotte's opinion, it's also kind of Henry's fault.)
"Why are you looking at pics of Jasper's girlfriend?"
"Cause she's trying to kill me!"
"What?"
"Last night, I think she loosened some bolts on my ceiling fan. Cause it fell and almost took my head off!"
"Why would Courtney wanna hurt you?"
"I don't know, she's acting all jealous. Why would she be jealous of me?"
(The look on Henry's face and that noise he makes when he knows something that she doesn't is enough of an answer.)
"See, at school, I mighta kinda made Courtney think that Jasper, kinda, loves you…"
"Well why would you say that?!"
"Cause he does love you, as a friend, but she didn't get that!"
"Yeah, all she got was a reason to kill me!"
"Well, what do you want me to do?"
"Help me tell Jasper that his girlfriend is a crazy jealous lunatic!"
"He'll never believe us."
"Okay…then we're gonna tell him, and we're gonna show him."
"How?"
"You and Jasper are gonna hide in my room tonight. Then, he'll see for himself how cuckoo his girlfriend is."
"Ehh…I don't know."
(Says the boy who caused this whole thing.)
"Please?"
"Do you still keep that dish of gummy bears by your closet door?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll do it."
(She'll never understand why Henry loves those gummy bears so much.)
Needless to say, Henry and Jasper believe her once Courtney comes out, chainsaw in hand and donning a Viking hat.
(They really should believe her more often.)
