Author's Note: Ta-da! It's not exactly Shizaya, more like hints of Shizaya if you squint, but it's there! *holds up a magnifying glass and points* See? See? There it is! ...Wait no, that's just some dirt. WHATEVER. I know there's some Shizaya in here somewhere!
Disclaimer: Durarara! is totally mine! Narita is just...borrowing it.~ :3
Warning(s): Contains material that may be found religiously offensive by some. Mentions of Hell.
I am not a nice person.
I know this.
Izaya Orihara was never meant to be nice.
I've always known I was going to Hell. Ever since I was a little boy. I wasn't abused or mistreated. I wasn't taught or trained to be bad, to think that I was going to hell. I've always just known.
It's always been a fact.
I am not a nice person.
I know this.
Everyone knows this.
I want everyone to know this.
I know I'm going to Hell.
I've always known I was going to Hell.
That doesn't mean that I've accepted it.
Because I haven't.
I never will.
I'll fight it until the day I die.
But that doesn't mean that I won't still be a bad person.
Because I will. That's just who I am. I can't change who I am. I don't want to.
Because if I were to change who I am, that would make me human.
I can't be human. I won't be human.
A human can't fight with a beast.
I can. I am not human.
He is not human.
He is a monster. And yet, he isn't going to Hell. I can tell. He's going to heaven, he's going to Valhalla.
That brute. He doesn't deserve to go to Valhalla.
Not without me.
I won't let him go without me. We are a package deal, him and I. Forever playing our sick little game of cat and mouse. He is the hunter and I am the prey. He chases and I run. One without the other just doesn't make sense.
So he can't go to Valhalla without me.
I won't let him go without me.
I can't let him go without me.
I will not be left behind.
I am not a nice person.
I know this.
Everyone knows this.
He knows this better than most people.
He's seen me at my worst. And he hates every bit of it. He wants to extinguish me, annihilate me from existence. Because he knows.
He knows I am not a nice person.
Everyone knows this.
But he knows it better than most people.
He knows that I am going to Hell.
I don't know how he knows, but I know that he knows. It's in his eyes. It's in that rare look of pity I'll see every once in a while as he chases me down the streets of Ikebukoro. In a flash the look is gone, but it is forever imprinted upon my memory.
Pity. Sadness. Regret. Confusion. Anger. Hurt. Fury. And something else…
In a flash the look is gone.
But I'll never forget it.
I know that I'm going to Hell.
There's nothing I can do to prevent it.
But I'm not going to go quietly.
Oh definitely not. If I'm going to Hell, and I know I'm going to Hell, then I am going kicking and screaming. Biting and scratching. I will never give in.
I know that I'm going to Hell.
But if I'm going to Hell, I'm dragging Shizu-chan with me.
Because one without the other, just doesn't make sense.
Review? Please? I'll give you a cookie! ...Okay I lied. But if you review, I will love you forever and ever! :D Please? Just let me know if this completely suck or not. Cuz that's something I really need to know.~
