This story was adapted from the manga Boys Next Door. Both the main story and concept belong to Kaori Yuki.

Boys Next Door © Kaori Yuki

I do not own it nor Vocaloid.


And when I looked at her smile...

I never believed anything could be so...

So pure, so innocent...

It burns an image in my eyes.

He cradled the bleeding girl in his arms, gently brushing her golden locks out of the way so he could see her eyes. Those turquoise blue eyes that stared into his very soul; he'd grown accustomed to it. With one finger, he wiped the blood that dripped from her open mouth, though it didn't do much good as more blood followed.

He scarcely heard the slam as the front door to his apartment slammed open. "T-this is..." a blue-haired man stuttered, barely able to form words at the sight before him. "What are you doing?" He still did not respond, not even when the man walked inside, followed by a brown haired woman.

"She's already dead!" the woman sobbed, tears filling her eyes. "Was it you who killed her? Hey!"

There was silence before he finally looked up at the two, glaring, the girls blood dripping down his arms as it soaked her surroundings. "How annoying," he whispered, bringing a finger to his lips. "Sssh. You'll wake Rin up..."

"You were born inside a carnival." That's what my mother told me when I was just I little boy. My mother...was an 'unstable' woman, you could say. She said things that...I was unable to understand, but I still tried to listen to her, I really did. My mother, she...

She always brought alot of men home...

...but she always took their money.

I couldn't stand it when she did that. It made me sick. Hell, I didn't even know who my father was. When I asked her, she always stated, "You were born inside a carnival." As if I could understand that!

It was always different men...she never brought the same ones home. I never understood why she did this. Even now, I still don't. But, deep down inside, I felt like it was wrong...it made me sick. I figured that maybe all adults understood what I didn't. Maybe when I grew up, I would understand, too.

I don't.

My mother...was never abusive toward me. She never screamed at me, or hit me...but she never cared for me. She wouldn't even look at me! I tried, and tried, and tried to get her attention...but it always failed.

It was like she was denying that I existed.

One day, she seemed...happier than usual. And she was looking at me! I wonder what had caused the sudden change, but nonetheless, I was happy! She took my hand and smiled at me. "Len, we're going to a carnival today..." I didn't believe her at first, but we really did go! It was a faraway carnival, too. It was the farthest I had ever been from home.

I wanted to do everything! Eat cotton candy, ride the Merry-Go-Round, ride the Ferris Wheel, and the Tea Cups!

And there was a clown! He was juggling, grinning as kids gathered around to stare in awe at the sight. Then, he dropped all five of the balls he was juggling, the kids laughing as they all landed on his head. "Balloons!" I cried, letting go of my mother's hand. "I'll be right back, mom!" This was the best part of the day...

And the worst.

By the time I reached the jester, there was no balloon for me. "Sorry, kid," he said, putting on a fake smile as he patted my shoulder. "There's none left." I sighed, disappointed, then turned around.

Mom was gone.

Mother...is there no balloon for me because I'm a child nobody wants?

I was just a ten year old boy in a place I don't know...I didn't know where to go! Many times I was almost caught by the police, but I ran, and ran...I had to get home. I rode the subway...I hitchhiked...I even spent two days in the dangerous city, until finally, I reached my home...

I prayed that when I saw my mother...that she would love me...like she never has.

I froze when I heard a scream, followed by a crash, coming from the house. "Yes, I'm telling the truth!" I heard my mother cry from inside. "He's the son I had when I was sixteen! Len isn't some lost, unrelated boy! I'm telling you the truth!"

I peered into the window...a man, one I didn't recognize, had my mother pinned to the floor, a large knife in his hand. He whispered something...I didn't hear, but my mother started screaming at him again. "Ten years ago, I went to a carnival...I went to the back of the Fun House, and I was raped by a man pretending to be a jester...I was pregnant by mistake!" She screamed as the man slashed her arm. "So I left Len at the place where he came from!"

The man started screaming again, and so did my mom...I didn't want to listen, though. I covered my ears...she slapped him in the face, he pushed her back down...and then...

He sliced open her chest. Once, twice...three times...I looked away. The front door suddenly swung open, and the man ran out, his shirt covered in blood...mom's blood. I looked down as I walked inside the open door.

Mom looked surprised when she saw me...then she started asking for help. "The phone, Len..." she wheezed, causing herself to lose more blood. "Hurry...once I get better, I'll take you to the carnival again...okay?"

I clenched my small fists. "And then..." I picked up the bloody knife that the man had used, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Are you going to leave me there again?" I only stabbed once...but that was enough to finish her. She didn't even have time to react to what I was doing. She still had that same look on her face...that sly grin that hid what she truly was. I wasn't fooled anymore.

Still, it was bothering me...

That face...

Those eyes...

Quit looking at me like that! When you were alive, you never looked at me! Don't look at me now that you're dead! Don't...don't look at me now!

Don't look at my weak, bloody hands...don't look at weak, ugly me!

I backed up against a table, and a flurry of photographs landed on the floor before me...these people...they can all see! All of them! Don't look at me, don't look at me...

I grabbed a marker, marking over each and everyone of their eyes...

All their eyes have been covered...

Mommy isn't looking at me anymore...

I looked at her. The crazed grin still remained on her face, but...her eyes were covered.

Everything will be okay if their eyes are covered.

"That child...he stayed by the body of his mother for five days," one police officer said to another, sipping a cup of coffee as a chill entered the open door of the house.

"Wow!" the other officer said in surprise. "He seems to have experienced a huge shock!"

"Did you get bloody trying to take the knife out of your mother?" a woman, younger than my mother asked me gently. I was seated on the couch, drinking a cup of hot chocolate. "You should've called the police."

In this world, no one doubted an unlucky boy with no relatives.

"Why did you cover your mother's eyes?" the woman asked as I finished taking a sip.

I didn't answer for awhile, unsure of what to say. "Mommy was looking at me like she was mad," I answered her. I could tell she didn't know what to make of it, but she didn't exactly know how to contradict me, either.

Because I didn't want other kids to end up like me, I decided to be a teacher...

But I'm still not okay. I change from day to night.

I seek out those who sell out their bodies like my mother did.

I hate them.

I hate them all! They hate me, too. I can see it in their eyes...those dirty eyes...like my mother's.

I can't look at them!

But you...why are you different?

You are one of the dirtiest, most foul beings I know of...

And yet, you're also the most beautiful...

You're the only one who is the most beautiful...

This is the unspoken truth...

This world contains only one truth.

And I understand that now.

I love you...

But because I love you, I kill you...


I know this contains obvious foreshadowing. But it was needed. Stay tuned for when I write the next chapter!